Giving It A Go

Writers: AL, Ames
Date Posted: 30th June 2013

Characters: Meledei, T'nom
Description: T'nom and Meledei discuss the idea of a relationship further
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 13 of Turn 7

T'nom

He'd laid awake most of the night mulling over the conversation that
had occurred between then. Truthfully, he'd been rather surprised by
the whole thing. He'd never meant to tell her his feelings, though he
_was_ glad they were finally out. He'd _thought_ he might get to enjoy
being with her a second time after the Flight, and that had clouded
his thoughts for quite some time.

Exclusive. That was the word she'd used. That meant no more playing
and experimenting like he'd been doing these past months. Honestly,
he'd only done that because it had seemed like she was pulling away,
and he'd felt it was time to learn what his other options were.

Did he like some of the other women? Sure. Would he be happy with some
of them? Probably. Would he regret missing his chance to be with
Meledei? Definitely. He'd thought about it so long and so often, that
having it stare him in the face was actually a frightening
proposition.

They needed to talk. To clear the air one way or the other. Everything
had happened so fast yesterday and they'd both been reeling from the
after-effects of the Flight.

Now, with a small flower in his hand, he knocked on her door.

A moment later the door opened and Meledei's face lit with a smile,
which grew brighter when she saw the flower. "Dare I ask if that's
for me?" She'd been thinking about things too. Unlike him, she'd
been able to sleep, though she had stayed up late, glass of wine in
hand that took some time to finished. She and Elleth had gone to the
lake for a late swim and eventually back to the weyr where she had
soaked in a hot bath before she finally retired.

"Come on in." She closed the door behind him once he stepped through.
"Want something to drink?" Meledei wasn't sure how things were going
to work out, but one thing was for sure - no matter what, she at the
very least wanted to stay friends.

"Of course it is," T'nom replied handing her the flower, "and
something to drink would be nice." It felt a bit more awkward than
normal. He knew they had things to talk about, and until they were
resolved he wasn't going to feel as comfortable as he normally would
around her.

Meledei shifted over to the sideboard and opened one of the cabinets.
Maybe wine would be a good choice. Tea was nice, but they were both a
little on edge. Wine would help them relax without dulling their
senses - as long as they didn't have more than a glass or two anyway.
Meledei certainly didn't plan to do that. She took out too glasses,
poured some in each, then placed the bottle back in the sideboard
before she passed T'nom his. "Come on, sit. Let's talk." Might as
well deal with things sooner rather than later.

He accepted the glass. "Thanks," was all he said before following her
and taking a seat. He took a sip of the drink and then immediately
took a second to try and calm his nerves. Then he forced himself to
stop drinking the beverage before he downed the whole glass.

"Talking is good," he commented, fiddling with the glass a bit as he
considered what to begin with. He had questions. He knew she must have
questions. There was _alot_ to discuss. Starting the conversation
wasn't his strong point.

"So, how do we go about this?" Meledei was at a loss too. With
F'gol, he'd been so eager and almost hyper about things. T'nom was
more level headed, but his hesitation also made it a bit more awkward.
Of course, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, look at
what had happened with F'gol? "Maybe...we should tell each other what
we're looking for?" She'd started to do that the day before, but she
wasn't sure if T'nom really understood - or maybe he just needed to
think about whether or not it was something he could accept.

"Alright," T'nom replied, mulling it over for a moment. "I think I
know what _you_ want. Exclusive. That's the word you used." He paused
a moment. "I'm _not_ opposed to that, Meledei, not at all. In fact
prior to Impressing that's exactly what I wanted too. The problem comes

from what's happened since then." He toyed with the glass more.
"I've...well...I've been with a lot of different women. Most of them
were just to explore, but they've been so willing and eager. It's
confusing for me sometimes." He knew it probably wasn't what she
wanted to hear, but it was what he needed to make sure she understood
about where his life had gone since he'd graduated the weyrling wing.

That wasn't surprising to her at all. Meledei knew a lot of Holders
had similar experiences after coming to the Weyr. The Weyr opened
their eyes to a completely different way of life, a different look on
things. While she didn't have a problem with that in general, it just
wasn't her own attitude when it came to relationships. "Okay, I get
it. Does that mean you'd rather not be in an exclusive relationship?"

"That's the hard part, Dei. I don't know. I mean, I _want_ to find
someone who makes me happy. I don't want to just be with random people
all the time. It's just going to be hard after the way things have
been lately." He held up a hand before she could stop him, "But I'm
willing to try." He knew that wasn't all there was to it. There was
alot more that they needed to discuss.
n we

"What happens if I slip up though? I mean, I'm not saying I will, but
what if I do?" It was a hard question and one he'd dwelt on alot the
night before. "Does that mean whatever we do develop will just be over
for good? One mistake and it'll be done?" His heart clenched at that
thought. He had not intentions of cheating on purpose, but sometimes
things got out of hand around the Weyr, as he'd experienced a few
times. He'd ended up in a few beds without even remember how he'd got
there. He knew he'd have to work on that, which meant no more crazy
drinking just to make sure.

"Not necessarily. I think it would depend on your attitude about it."
That had been the hardest part with her former lover. "I've talked
about F'gol, right?"

"Some, yes, but we've never really talked about all the details. I
never wanted you to think I was prying," T'nom replied.

"I'm open to people asking as long as they accept a no when I say it."
Meledei smiled, then took a sip of her wine before she continued on.
"We were friends. He kind of Impressed by accident - snuck onto the
sands to get a closer look and a dragon chose him. I friended
him...we were best friends, kind of like us now. The we became
lovers. I even asked him to Weyrmate with me."

She paused and looked into the red liquid, then swirled it around. She
didn't take another sip though - not right away. "He wanted to wait,
which was fine. But then he wound up sleeping with a man. Not
because of a flight, not because of anything else except that he chose
to do it. And he did it behind my back. And he didn't care that I
was hurt by it." She lifted her gaze from the wine back to the young
man before her. "I didn't break up with him over the infidelity. I
broke up with him over the lack of regret he had. If he had been
sorry, I would have forgiven him - but he wasn't. And still isn't."
And if she were honest with herself, Meledei would admit that was why

she tended to keep herself closed off in some ways, particularly when
it came to anything beyond friendship. That thought spurred another
sip of her wine.

He knew they'd broken up, but hadn't know all the details. "I didn't
know all that, Dei. I'm sorry that happened to you. I can promise you
this. I wouldn't go do anything like that on purpose, and if things
started to not work out between us I'd talk to you first, though I'd
rather try and fix things first. The same goes for you, you know?" He
too, took a sip of his wine.

"What about you and Z'ku? And you and R'enh? I mean, I know you're
arguing with R'enh now, but I know there were feelings there before
your argument.

"I'll have to talk to Z'ku. I don't want to hurt him, but...well,
I'll be honest, there was always a possibility for more with each of
them I guess, but it never developed to more. Z'ku approached me
once, but it had been too soon after F'gol and he's said nothing
since. R'enh, well, I suppose there was always a possibility with him
too, but we've never been anything more than friends. I don't think
he cares any more anyway." Meledei shrugged. It hurt her, deeply
still, but she was trying to let it go. Some days were better than
others. "And talking is important. That's how my parents made things
work, they communicated and they never let the sun go down on their
anger. If they were still arguing, they at the very least agreed to
discuss the matter the next morning." And they had been one of the
most successful stories at the Weyr. Meledei had always wanted
something like they had.

T'nom nodded silently, mulling over her words. "So there _was_ a
possibility for them before, what's changed now? I mean, what's to say
that tomorrow _you_ won't change your mind and wish you'd chosen
Z'ku?" That was the one that nagged at him the most. He knew she was
on the outs with R'enh, so there would be more work involved there to
rectify things before he'd have to worry.

"Well, that's why we're courting, in a sense of the word. To see if
this would be something more. To see if we'd be compatible as
lifelong mates." Meledei shook her head. "I'm not the sort to run
around. If I've chosen someone, I don't look elsewhere. If I think
it's not going to work, you'll be the first to know. I can't
guarantee what's going to happen - nor can you. But this isn't a
permanent dedication like I would expect Weyrmating to be. At the
same time, if we're serious about a relationship with each other, I
believe we should be true to one another, and if we feel like we can't
be, then we need to communicate that."

"I can handle that," T'nom replied. Everything sounded better and more
clear today than it had yesterday. It was true that he had been living
the life of a bronzerider lately. To be honest, while it was fun to be
with whomever he wanted whenever he wanted, he knew there was a
different type of satisfaction to being committed to someone. He'd
grown up with that all around him. He'd seen many other Weyr couples
commit themselves through Weyrmating, so it _did_ exist here.

"I, too, will let you know if things just don't seem to be working
out. I do hope if that happens that we can remain friends however." He
knew it might be a long shot, and that regardless their friendship
would change if they tried this and it didn't work, but it was worth
trying. Nothing in life came easy. He'd learned that through Turns of
work and waiting.

"So, how do we take things from here?" He asked her. He knew she had
set ideas about what she wanted to see happen during courting and such
things, so he wanted to make sure he was prepared.

"I think as long as we communicate and not try to hide things, we'll
be all right - even if it's not in a romantic sense." Meledei had
more confidence in T'nom and Z'ku than she did in F'gol in that regard
- or R'enh for that matter, especially after the way he had treated
her. "I don't want to lose our friendship no matter what happens."
And she knew that there were couples who broke off their romance but
kept their friendship.

"I think we've come to an agreement then. We're going to give this a
go, but both realize that if it doesn't work, we make an effort to
stay friends no matter what. We're honest with each other. We don't
hide things, even if it might mean the end. I'd rather know that you
were honest and so was I, even if it _did_ mean we weren't suited for
a long-term relationship." He'd imagined things with her for so long,
but in all his dreams and fantasies he just saw himself _with_ her in
the end. T'nom had never figured out exactly how he would get there or
even _if_ they would work out, but he knew now that they were going to
try.

Meledei nodded, then smiled. "It sounds like a plan." And maybe it
wasn't the most romantic way to start a relationship, but sometimes,
that might be better than focusing on overly flowery ideas. Sometimes
it was better to focus on the reality - and usually that lead to a
happier, more satisfying experience. At least, she hoped it did in
this case.

Last updated on the July 3rd 2013

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Giving It A Go