You Deserve to be a Father PT 2

Writers: Ames, Suzee
Date Posted: 5th April 2013

Characters: D'ale, Kenza
Description: With D'ale's baby news, he and Kenza recall the loss of their own babe not too long ago
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 13, day 12 of Turn 6
Notes: Pt 2 of 2; Mentioned: Yanley

D'ale

"Thanks," he smiled and squeezed her fingers back. "And yes, he was a
sharding fool." He shook his head already feeling that either he'd
already said too much or not enough. "Well, you can't say anything to
anyone yet." He knew he could trust Kenza but felt he still needed to
say it anyway. "But, the jokes on him. She wasn't the one who was
infertile."

She let his words sink in for a moment. Then her eyes opened wider and
she smiled at him, "Oh, D'ale. I take it that means good news for you.
I'm so happy for you." Yet, even as Kenza spoke the words, a shadow
seemed to pass across her eyes.

He started to smile but then saw the shadow in her eyes and reached
out to cover hers with his own. "I'm sorry Kenza..."

~*~
They both stood next to Torerath. D'ale held Kenza in his arms with
her head against his chest and his face in her hair. "Are you sure
this is what you want to do?"

"No," she replied, her hand going to rest over her abdomen, "but you
heard what they said. There is something wrong...." she drew in a
shaky breath. "This is for the best."

He wasn't happy about the prospect of what they were planning but he
would do this for Kenza. "Are you certain the dolphins are right?"

She took a shuddering breath and nodded. "Not just one confirmed. The
babe is not growing that way it should. Even the dolphins seemed
saddened by the news they were sharing with me. They _know_ D'ale and
we have to accept it." Kenza swallowed. She had wanted this child, but
a twist of events had led them to this moment now. She almost wanted
to turn and run the other way, but Kenza had never run from her
problems. "It will be for the best. For both of us and the babe. For
even if it survived, it would not have an easy life." She drew in
another shaky breath, turning her eyes to him, needing him to agree
with her in this moment more than ever or else she might just change
her mind.

It was difficult to accept but he nodded and put his best supportive
face on. It was hard to see Kenza, his beautiful, strong, Kenza so
ripped apart by this thing. But when her stricken eyes lifted to his
he couldn't do anything but enfold her in his arms and murmur against
her hair.

"Where should we go," he asked gently. "It should be someplace you
never want to go again."

"Pick somewhere you know that I will never find nor want to find
again. Please." She was struggling to make any decisions at the
moment.

"Alright," he said and let her go to climb up the side of his big
brown. "Up you come," he said reaching a hand down for her. Torerath
offered his leg to help the greenrider climb up his side. "But I want
you in my lap, okay?"

She couldn't help but give a puff of air at that. Yet, Kenza did as he
asked, wanting to, needing to feel his arms around her. This was _not_
going to be an easy trip.

He strapped her to his own straps and then held her close at the same
time giving Torerath the picture of where they were to go. It was a
place he'd discovered as a young rider when he'd taking a trip with
one of his friends. Before Thread threatened the skies of Pern. They'd
gone island hopping off the coast of Windswept Islands Weyr and come
across a huge island. It was lush with fruit and beautiful beaches. He
remembered exactly the picture he gave his big brown.

The black of /between/ grabbed them.

She felt the cold as it enveloped them. The seconds ticked away as the
darkness surrounded them. Though the cold of /between/ hardly ever
bothered her, this time it was different. She felt as though her lungs
were constricting, her insides felt as though someone were twisting
and churning them.

When they finally emerged from /between/, Kenza had to gulp for air.
The moment she did, she felt her insides begin to cramp up. "Oh," she
moaned, her hand reaching down to cradle her abdomen.

D'ale felt her clench and a wave of guilt washed over him. He knew it
was silly. He'd won a flight and her pregnancy had surprised them
both. Yet the guilt over their decision remained an he held her
closer. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Her abdomen continued to clench. Kenza gritted her teeth, trying to
hold back the emotion that toyed with her mind. Yet, when D'ale spoke,
there was no holding back any longer. Tears began to fall from her
eyes as she whispered, "I am too." Clearly fate had a different plan
for them than what she'd thought, but that was the way of the world.
They would move forward. They would have to, but right now, all she
wanted was to grieve for the loss she felt deep inside her. She leaned
into D'ale as much as she could, needing to feel him there, supporting
her during this difficult time.

Torerath followed his instructions and landed on a beautiful beach.
D'ale unbuckled them both and slid down to help Kenza. "There is a
good place up this way," he said pointing off through the forest. He
pulled a bag of supplies he'd assembled from where he'd strapped it to
the big brown, then took her hand to lead her through the trees.

She followed, grimacing as her muscles clenched. Time was of the essence.

"I'm not sure how much further I can go," she told him, gripping his
hand as her muscles seized once again.

D'ale didn't say anything but simply swept her up in his arms and
trotted toward his destination. There by a stream in a clearing too
small for Torerath to land, He laid her down on a bed he'd prepared in
advance.

Things happened quickly after that. Much of it was a blur to Kenza as
her body ached and hurt in ways she hadn't felt in Turns.

Sometime later D'ale put the final touches on the little cairn of
stones on the hill by the stream. It was a beautiful spot even if it
was one he'd never see again. "Are you ready," he called.

She did her best to compose herself. It was over, she had cleaned up.
He had taken care of the rest. Standing on shaky legs, tears welling
behind her eyes, she nodded. "Yes," she said on a strangled whisper.
"I'm ready." **Goodbye sweet child or ours,** she thought as a single
tear escaped her eye. She reached up to wipe it away quickly. She'd
learn long ago that there was no use shedding tears over things that
couldn't be changed.

Together they returned to Torerath and left the site, never to return again.

~*~ End Flashback ~*~

She turned her hand and gave his a squeeze. "I know D'ale. I'm sorry,
too. But, I _am_ glad for you now." She gave him a smile, albeit a
shaky one. "You deserve to be a father again."

He covered her hand with his other one and gave it a pat. "Thanks Kenza."

Last updated on the April 11th 2013

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You Deserve to be a Father PT 2