Because He's a Bronzerider

Writers: Paula, Ames
Date Posted: 1st March 2011

Characters: Aileyan, Cardella
Description: Cardella seeks out Aileyan to ask her advice
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 16 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentioned: J'nev, T'bel

Cardella

Cardella had been enjoying a bit of a respite from her weyrling duties
when she saw a figure walking across the bowl. Awenth was napping in
the sun, so she knew she would not be missed. Taking a moment to
contemplate her actions, Cardella decided to try and catch up to
Aileyan.
"Rider Aileyan, do you have a moment?" She asked, wondering if the
greenrider would chasten her for calling out. She was, after all, only
a weyrling, but something about T'bel's warning just before the
hatching had stuck with Cardella. She hoped Aileyan would be able to
shed some further light on the matter.

"Yes, I have," Aileyan replied and eyed the younger girl curiously.
She recognized her as one of the new weyrlings but they never had
actually talked before.

"I'm Cardella, rider of green Awenth, one of the new weyrlings." She
said by way of introduction. Then she swallowed. Did she dare to ask
Aileyan the questions that burned in her mind? Biting her lower lip a
bit nervously she decided to start by saying, "T'bel suggested I speak
with you, um, well, about," Cardella was having a hard time figuring
out how to say what she wanted to say, "about greenriders and
bronzeriders." She blurted out, then blushed and looked down at the
ground. Cardella _had_ to know what T'bel meant and whether her own
feelings for J'nev were clouded by thoughts and feelings that might
not be warranted.

"Yes, he said you would want to talk with me," Aileyan said with
little smile of understanding. "Why won't we grap a cup of klah and
find some private spot to talk?" she suggested.
Cardella breathed a sigh of relief. She had worrie that Aileyan
wouldn't want to talk or would think that Cardella should mind her own
business. Leave it to T'bel to take care of that. He really was a good
man. "Thank you, Aileyan." She followed the older rider to the dining
hall and grabbed a cup of klah. Looking around she saw a rather
secluded corner. "Here? Or should we go somewhere else?" Cardella
inclined her head towards the empty area of the room.

"That looks a good place," Aileyan answered.

"Alright," Cardella slide into the seat and looked over to Aileyan.
"I'm really grateful that you were willing to talk to me. There's so
much about being a greenrider that I still don't understand, and well,
T'bel mentioned something that has me a bit unnerved. He felt you
would be the best person to talk with."

Aileyan nodded. "I believe he mentioned bronzeriders," she said. She
knew she had to place her words carefully. If she just launched into
bad-mouthing J'nev, she would just turn Cardella against herself. "You
having a relationsship with a one?" it was half question, half remark.

Cardella blushed alittle at the directness of Aileyan's question.
"Yes, well, at least I was before I Impressed. I've been so busy since
then, I've hardly even seen him." Cardella paused and took a gulp of
her klah. "T'bel mentioned bronzeriders had a _way_ with other riders.
I got the feeling he was trying to tell me to be careful, but,"
Cardella lowered her voice, "what if I think I love him?" She looked
up at Aileyan with wide, uncertain eyes.

"You are not supposed to see him while you are a junior weyrling,"
Aileyan cautioned. "And if you only think you love him, you probably
don't. It's so easy to confuse attraction and love," Aileyan said,
sounding more mature than her 19 Turns.
Cardella frowned and looked down into her cup. She knew what Aileyan
was saying was probably true, but she didn't want to believe it.
Looking up, she implored, "I've never known what love really is. J'nev
was so kind to me, he taught me things I didn't know, and showed me
what it meant to be a woman." Cardella paused and blushed, realizing
how much she had revealed. "I gave him everything he asked for because
I thought that was love, that he loved me and I loved him, but then
Awenth hatched and I realized that the bond we have isn't at all what
I felt for him." Cardella stopped and added, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean
to ramble on so much. I truly value your opinion, Aileyan. I don't
know what to do, or what I'm supposed to feel. Why would J'nev do so
much for me if he didn't love me?" She looked to the more experienced
greenrider hoping to find answers to the questions that swam inside
her thoughts.

"Because he's a bronzerider. That's what they do. And it is the danger
and attraction of the bronzeriders. They tell you all the things you
want to hear, make you feel loved, cherished. And after they walk out
of your bed, they do it all over again with the next pretty lady,"
Aileyan said. Her voice was mixture of longing and bitterness.

Cardella's brows drew together. She had heard the whispered talks
before, but up until now she'd ignored it all, defended J'nev.
"Couldn't J'nev be different from the others? He..." she paused, "he
was so wonderful to me. I thought he would love me, and now...now I
don't know."

"He wasn't so wonderful towards _me_," Aileyan snorted. She couldn't
keep her despise hidden any longer. "He's a jerk and has only one use
for a woman: laying beneath him." She scowled into her klah. "If he
doesn't get it, you're _undecent_ and a bitch. First time we met, he
was inviting me to his bed. He deliberately tripped T'bel at my
birthday party and I don't want to repeat what he said to me after
winning Kjarliheth's mating flight!" Her voice threatened to rose and
she forced it back down. "He takes pleasure of delivering news and
rumors he knows will hurt you." She took a calming breath. "As for
you, you're a perfect for practicing his seducing skills. An innocent
candidate from a hold, eager to settle in and to fit in. To whom
everybody tells how wonderful sex is and how it's good to get some
experience before Impressing..." Aileyan looked Cardella in to the
eyes. She realized this might hurt the younger girl. She took
Cardella's hand and squeezed it. "Don't let him break your heart," she
said fervently.

Cardella's face fell as she listened to Aileyan's words. She tried
hard to hide the hurt and confusion she was feeling, but she knew she
wasn't doing a very good job at hiding things.
Aileyan's hand on hers was a comfort, but Cardella was still confused
and uncertain. "Do...do you think he will do that to me?" She knew
what Aileyan would say but she couldn't help but voice the question
aloud. "I _am_ glad you told me the truth, but how could J'nev be so
different than the man I've known and..." her voice caught, "gave
myself to...before." Cardella blinked back a tear at that thought.

"We all have two sides," Aileyan said. "He can't be fully rotten, he's
a dragonrider after all," she had to struggle to be a fair and
objective but she did manage. "Perhaps he trully cares about you.
Question is, when he'll show you his other face and can you accept
it?"

Cardella was still frowning and confused. "I..I don't know. It seems
J'nev is not the person I thought he was when we first met. Have I
made a mistake, Aileyan? I don't know what to do now."

"We all make mistakes, that's how we learn," the slightly older
greenrider said comfortingly. "As for what you should do, I can't tell
you that, you have to decide it."

Cardella had much to think about. She looked up to the more
experienced rider. "Thank you Aileyan. I really do appreciate your
time. I've got alot to think about it seems."

Last updated on the March 21st 2012

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Because He's a Bronzerider