What Are You Talking About?

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 31st October 2005

Characters: Traelyn, B'ram
Description: Traelyn remembers finding out about B'ram and her sister
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr, Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 8, day 19 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows: "Good Enough... For What?"

B'ram

Sharding, _sharding_ man... His words burned through her mind as she waded over closer to Nyith, needing the comfort of her proximity, wishing she could be out of sight from those basking on the shore. The queen extended a bright wing, encircling her rider, shielding her as she lowered her great head, lightly brushing the tip of her nose against Traelyn's head lovingly.

Trae leaned her head against her dragon, wrapping her arms around herself. **You never could stand seeing me with your sister, could you. What, you didn't think I was good enough for her?**

She closed her eyes, her teeth clenching. Sharding prick.

**Or was it that you just couldn't stand that fact that Atreyn had me and you _couldn't_?** _That_ was a sharding _lie_. She had never, and _would_ never, begrudge her sister _anything_ - especially if it was someone who could make her happy. And she hadn't. Traelyn remembered.

~*~

Shards. Could it really be true? Traelyn stared at B'ram's back, wondering. Ceslyn was a reliable source, and only told what she heard throughout the Weyr... That, and she was her _sister_. She wouldn't tell her something that wasn't true. She ran a frustrated hand through her hair.

Well, there was only one way to find out, and Trae _really_ wasn't comfortable about doing it. After everything that had happened between them - and more - she just didn't go up to him the way she used to. Shards and shells.

"B'ram?"

"Yeah, I'm done in there. I was just getting dressed," the brownrider said over his shoulder as he tied the string on his trousers. He glanced over his shoulder to see whose voice it was. **Shards...** His shoulders felt the tention he had just worked out relaxing in the bathing pool return. "Hello, Traelyn."

"Hey..." She shifted to her other foot, feeling rather awkward. "I wanted to catch you before you disappeared again. K'kar told me to tell you that he has your riding straps ready and you can pick them up at his weyr later. He would've told you himself but he had to take someone somewhere..." And she had been the only one available when K'kar had breezed past her on his way down the hall just outside the door. Trae knew telling him this sounded sharding awkward, but it give her the excuse to actually _see_ him...

Shards, what if Ceslyn was wrong? But she _couldn't_ be...

The brownrider turned to look at her. She sounded... nervous. Was he really _that_ bad? "All right. Thanks. I'll go to his weyr then."

Shards, this was so _sharding_ awkward... "Mind if I walk with you? I'm heading up that way anyway..."

He blinked a couple times. Just what was in the goldrider's head today?
"Sure, that would be fine." Her nervous attitude made him feel a bit on edge. Shards, Atreyn must of told her...

"Nyith told me that Girifith got scored, B'ram..." she said as they began making their way up the corridor. "He's doing better, I hope?"

"It was very minor. We won't even miss a Fall." He began buttoning his shirt. Usually he wouldn't bother, but she made him feel a bit self-conscious sometimes. "Thanks for asking, though."

She smiled quietly at him. "Sure."

They walked along for a few moments in uncomfortable silence, both wondering what the other was thinking. He glanced at her a couple times out of the corner of his eye. Her smile was a lot like Atreyn's, he noticed. It was... pretty.

Sensing him looking at her, she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, caught - and held - his gaze.

B'ram suddenly felt a bit guilty and looked away. Clearning his throat he asked, "So... how is K'kar doing today? I haven't seem him for a few days."

Trae crossed her arms lightly around herself as she walked. "He's doing just fine." Her smile held genuine affection as she thought of him. "He and that bronze of his, both."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Was there any man she _didn't_
think of as a potential mate? Besides green and _blueriders_, of course. "That's good to hear."

She nodded, glancing at him. Shards...but this was uncomfortable. Maybe Ceslyn was wrong... And yet... Again, Trae glanced at him.
**Only one way to find out...** They walked in silence for a while before she asked quietly, "Do you ever think about..." she trailed off.

Oh he hated it when a girl started off a conversation like that! Either it was an event he never remembered but had to pretend he did, or a life question that he never considered in his life because it would only give him vertigo... "Yes?"

Oh, she shouldn't've sharding _said_ anything... Too late to go back...
"About the time when... When I almost fell off the ladder? At...L'kub's birthday...." Her voice had gone very quiet now.

Shell cracks and crack dust... "Yeah... _That_ one I remember..."

She swallowed. "Well...I've heard from the Weyr's whispers that there's...there's someone you...like..."

**Here we go...** B'ram steeled himself for the lecture he was sure was coming about how a guy who would kiss his best friend's lover didn't deserve her sister and all that wherry dung... "Well, yes, there is someone I like..."

"And she's someone I know..."

He glanced over at her guiltily. She was probably loving this... "All right, yes, you know her."

"Someone I know very well..."

"Well, I should _think_ so..." What was next, spelling her name? His ears were starting to turn a bit red, and realizing that make his face follow suit. Shards but she was enjoying this!

Emboldened by his burning face, she went on, her voice still soft, "And you've thought of kissing her..."

He was pretty sure his face was now the color of the ripest redfruit... "All right, yes I have thought about it a lot. And I might as well admit it now - yes, I did kiss her - 'cause I know that will be your next question." He rubbed at the back of his rather warm neck. When would she just get to the point?

**So it's _true_...** They paused at the bend in the deserted corridor, and Traelyn turned to face him, and a slow, almost hesitant smile curved her lips. "Why didn't you tell me yourself you still thought about us?"

"I'm sorry?" B'ram asked, truly sure that he had heard her question wrong.

"Why didn't you? You could've, you know..."

He as he looked into her deep grey orbs, his own eyes were full of uncertainly, confusion, and doubt. "I could have?" he asked softly.
**All right, just what in Faranth's name is she _talking_ about?** B'ram tried to retrace their steps through their conversation but couldn't quite grasp where he had gotten so sharding lost...

She nodded. "Yeah... I mean, we _are_ a little old for these guessing games, aren't we?"

Finally! Something he could follow and agree with! "Yes, I think you're right, Traelyn. So why don't you just tell me what you're thinking?"

"What I'm..." she trailed off, staring at him. She could feel her cheeks begin to flush as he stared back at her, nonplussed. Could she be _wrong_? But Ceslyn... "I'm talking about you. And...me."

B'ram's brows lifted in surprise. "You and _me_?" He pointed at his chest just to make sure _he_ was the one she was talking about. "_You_
and me?"

"Well...yes." The color in her cheeks deepened. What on Pern... "Who did you _think_ I was talking about?" Who _was_ he talking about? Shards and shells! Was she _wrong_?

"Who am _I_ talking about? You _know_ who I'm talking about!" As if she didn't know anything about her own sister! What did she think, he was a sharding fool? The pieces were coming together in his mind. She had heard about him and Atreyn and she couldn't stand the fact that her sister had a man she couldn't get!

She took an involuntary step back, shocked at the sudden vehemence in his voice and the look in his eyes. Then her own eyes narrowed, her jaw setting. "No, I _don't_ know who you're talking about, B'ram!"

B'ram crossed his arms in front of his chest and looked at her, completely unconvinced by her feigned innocence. "How can you _not_
know that I have been seeing your sister for over a month?"

"My _sister_?" She stared at him, her cheeks reddening even more. Her _sister_? If it wasn't Ceslyn, then... "Atreyn?"

"Yes, Trae, Atreyn and I have been seeing each other, and I am quite happy with her. In fact, we are talking about maybe make it exclusive."

Traelyn stared at him, her face burning with embarrassed shame. What had she been _thinking_, believing Ceslyn about him! But it wasn't just Ceslyn's whispers...it was all the looks he'd given her, the looks that made her question his feelings, too. _Shards_ and _shells_. "She never mentioned it to me," she managed to say, her voice very low.

"Well," B'ram chuckled, "to answer your question, _no_. I don't think about _you_ and _me_ at all. There is no you and me and there never was and there never will be." Part of the brownrider felt a twisted pleasure in saying those words to the girl who broke his heart so many turns ago. He had never forgotten that moment, any more than he had forgotten those sharding unforgetable kisses. She had her chance and made her choice. It was too late now.

Her upper lip curled, though not at his words, but at his _tone_. And she could feel her embarrassment burn away into hard irritation. And anger. Her eyes were steely when she growled quietly through clenched teeth, "Then _stop_ looking at me the way you do, B'ram. If you've been seeing my sister for as long as you have, then it's certainly not fair to _her_."

As we watched her turn and walk away he called after her, "Yeah? Well, stop looking at your sister's man so much and you won't have that problem!" It was a lame come back, he knew, but her words had hit home.
It wasn't fair to Atreyn. He just knew no other way to look at Traelyn. **Sharding goldrider!**

~*~

Nyith was crooning softly, and Trae lovingly stroked her lowered muzzle. "I'm all right, dear heart..."

}:I wish you would not let him bother you so. I wish you would let the past rest.:{
**If only...**

Last updated on the November 1st 2005

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