Just a Wherry in Disguise

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 26th October 2005

Characters: B'ram, Traelyn
Description: B'ram remembers a loss of innocence
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr, Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 8, day 14 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows "Just Leave"

B'ram

B'ram's teeth were clenched so hard as he left the store room that his head ached, the basket with his new blanket, towel, and the glass with the "obnoxious" design in his arms.

**Sharding Traelyn... and her same _sharding_ tricks... falling of the ladder... with her sharding eyes and her sharding smile... She won't get me this time... no, I know better _this_ time...**

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~

"You think he'll be surprised? You know how much dragons gossip... Versith could've told on us already and we would never know it."
Traelyn glanced up from tying ribbons on the banner to look at Benram, a grin curving the corners of her lips.

Benram looked up and smiled. "He's a smart blue. I think he knows better than to tell L'kub about this." Suddenly he realised he had let himself smile at her a bit too long and quickly looked away. "So you told him to come after classes, right? We'd better hurry. Classes should be over soon."

"We have another quarter of a candlemark or so - which is _just_ enough time to get this up and hanging from the ceiling." Her fingers nimbly finished tying off the last knot on her side. Trae looked down, admiring the banner. "You know, Orobo did a good job in writing all that out.
His writing's better than mine!" The look in her eyes turned sly as she teasingly glanced up at him out from beneath her lashes. "And yours."

He laughed. "All right. all right. We all know I'm destined to be a dragonrider, not a scribe. Hand me that paper chain, will you?

"We're all destined to be dragonriders," she grinned, handing it to him as she stood. "I wonder where we should hang it," she muttered, more to herself than to him.

"How about along that wall?" he suggested helpfully.

She surveyed the wall, then turned her head to grin at him. "Good idea. Do you want to give me a hand with that ladder?" she asked, pointing.

"I can do that." Benram turned to survey the room once more. "Yes, I think that's the best spot. The room is looking really nice. Lakub...
shards I still do that! _L'kub_, I mean, will like it."

"I still do that too, Benram," she smiled. "And yeah...he'll like it." Then she laughed. "He'd _better_ after all the time we've been spending in here!"

"Who better than the two people on Pern he's closest to?" He smiled back at her over his shoulder as he retrieved the ladder. When her face lit up like that it was hard to believe she was that bratty little kid that always had to tag along and ruin things.

She watched him walk back over, moving aside so he could get by easy with such a heavy load. He sure carried it like it weighed hardly anything though... "I think if you put it right there...yeah. Yeah, that's good."

"You know," he said as he leaned the ladder against the wall, "we should save all these decorations to use for his graduation party. Surely it can't be more than a month before he will be going /between/."

"Oh we should! After all the time we've spent making them..." She smiled, her eyes growing a little distant. "And you're right, it won't be long now." Her voice had softened a little.

Traelyn couldn't wait until L'kub went /between/. Then they wouldn't have to hold back anymore. When he had Impressed Versith, she'd been so happy for him, but had known that they both were going to have to give up so much. "Don't worry," he had smiled at her one evening, brushing her hair gently behind her neck, "Weyrlinghood'll be over before you know it."

And here they were, almost four months later.

"I'm sure that's a relief," he said as he turned away... to straighten the ladder, of course. Knowing how much his best friend had cared for her, Benram had been avoiding Traelyn for the last turn. The young man knew just how popular she was among the other boys in his group. She always had been. And since they had grown old enough to notice that girls could be more than annoying, troublesome tagg-alongs, that fascination with her had only grown. Even he felt it... and avoided it.

Before he had Impressed, Traelyn and Lakub had been a natural pairing. Even then, Benram could get so jealous sometimes. Jealous that his best friend now ran to her with his troubles, jealous that he was left alone to find other people to hang out with when he was bored. He missed his friend. But there were moments when he was jealous of L'kub too. How could Benram begrudge an event that would bring his best friend such happiness? And yet, he did...

Trae glanced at him, wondering. Sometimes, he just sharding confused her. Sometimes, he would look at her, annoyed with her for some reason or another. He'd always found reasons to be annoyed with her, even when she'd been younger. _Especially_ when she'd been younger. Of course, most boys were annoyed with girls at that age, but with him, it was always different.

But now, sometimes she would catch him looking at her, his expression different. Sometimes softer, sometimes more...intense. Yes. That was the only way she could think of to describe it. But he would always glance away and turn from her.

Just like he was now.

"Yes... It is." She cleared her throat softly to fill in the sudden, awkward silence she'd been hoping to avoid all evening. "Here, will you spot me?" Trae asked, placing one hand on the ladder's side.

"Yeah, sure." Rather awkwardly, he reached around her to lay a steadying hand on a rung. He took the paper chain from her with his other hand. "I'll hand it up to you."

"Okay." Slowly, making sure she had her balance, she began stepping up the ladder. Shards. Weyr ceilings really were rather high, weren't they? Without looking down, she reached a hand for the decoration.

Benram rested his foot on the bottom rung and reached the chain up towards her. Their fingers brushed against each other, and he pulled his hand away quickly, as if from a flame, or as if he had been caught in the wrong. The paper chain dropped to the floor. "Sorry," he said sheepishly as he bend down to get it, taking his hands off the ladder for just a moment.

And she felt her whole world quiver and waver. And her inner balance failed to stabalize. "Oh, shards! Benram!" Trae shrieked as she felt herself falling.

He stood up just in time to reach up and steady her body against the ladder, but she was visibly shaken. "I got you Traelyn. Don't be scared, I'm here. Just come on down, one rung at a time."

"Sharding ladder," she grumbled as she carefully moved down it, trying to forget what had just happened and put on an indifferent front. Her fingers still clutched onto the sides rather tightly though once she had reached the last rung.

Benram kept his fingers tightly wrapped around her waist. Even now as she stepped down to the unshakeable floor he held her in his grip and his fingers didn't seem to want to let go. "Are you all right, Traelyn?"

She turned around, glancing up at him. "Yeah..."

He swallowed hard looking into her deep grey eyes. She was so close... So close and so sharding pretty, and L'kub wasn't there. **Shard it, Benram don't do it!** he mind screamed, but it was too late. His adolescent hormones were racing faster than his brain as he leaned in and gently kissed her. He pulled back quickly, shocked, ashamed, and yet curious what she would say - what she would do...

At first, all she could do was stare up at him, her eyes wide. _What_
on _Pern_...? But before she knew it - and before she could comprehend _why_ in Faranth's name she _was_ doing it - she was leaning in closer and lightly pressing her lips to his in return. **What are you _doing_, Trae? _L'kub_...** But that little whisper of sense was covered by the pounding of her heart as she lost herself in his touch.

Benram's arms wrapped around her and he pulled her closer, their gentle kiss turning into something a lot less innocent. His head swam and first the first time he forgot about L'kub's feelings and could think about only what _he_ felt. And at that moment, his feelings were pretty sharding good! Traelyn was in his arms and she was kissing him back. Not only was she kissing him back, but she had _initiated_ the second kiss! She had wanted to kiss him too! How long had she wanted to kiss him? Where had she learned how to kiss like that?!

Shards and _shells_ but this felt good. She shifted against him, one hand reaching up to curl in his spikey red hair, and she didn't protest when his arms drew her closer against his body.

Minutes passed, exquisit minutes, as they explored each other's mouths without reservation. Finally, breathlessly, B'ram pulled back. "Trae?"
He had so many things to say... so many things to ask.... This couldn't be just a passing moment! She had kissed him with as much passion as he had kissed her. **She feels it too!** he heart sang and his eyes danced as he looked into hers.

The thought of L'kub finally came to him. What were they going to tell him? How could they break the news to him? It might be hard at first, but his friend would understand with time and accept them just as Benram had. L'kub was such a good friend and he cared about them both. He would understand he _had_ to. Sometimes weyrlinhood was just to long...
some times things happened... And when he saw how happy they were...

She gazed up at him, not knowing what to say. What _could_ she say? And L'kub... Oh shards. L'kub. If he ever knew that she had kissed his best friend, she didn't know _what_ he would do. But this was a Weyr!
**But he's his _best friend_, Trae...** Shards. What had she done? She searched his expression. What had she thrown herself into?

Gently she pressed her brow to his shoulder, hiding her eyes, trying to make sense of her feelings. _Why_ had she let her sharding emotions run away with her like that? Guilt welled in her. Shards.

He leaned back so he could look into her eyes - her wonderful, gorgeous eyes. "Don't worry, Trae, we'll think of something. We didn't mean for this to happen, but now it has. L'kub will understand, I know he will. He'll just want us to be happy and..."

She looked down. "Shards, Benram," she murmured, her arms slowly beginning to slide away from his body. Shards, shards, _shards_! Since _when_ had he felt this way about her?

"I know, I know," Benram replied, still too innocent about the ways of the world to assume that sometimes these things just _happen_. "We won't tell L'kub about us today..."

Steeling herself, she tilted her head back to look into his eyes. It was _one_ kiss. How could he even think...? And L'kub... "Benram." Her voice was soft, serious.

"What? What is it?" Benram could start to feel the chill of doubt as he looked into her suddenly hard grey eyes - hard and yet pitying...

"I didn't know that you... I... I don't know why I kissed you. Like that." Shards. That sounded so _bad_, and she winced inwardly. "I didn't know... I didn't realize... I'm sorry, Benram." She wanted to sharding shove her tongue down her own throat! But how else could she have told him? How else could he'd have gotten it straight? Shards... Guilt washed over her as she looked away. "I'm sorry...."

"You mean... you mean you don't feel _anything_...?" Benram felt shame burn inside himself. He couldn't hide the bright red that had spread across his face, and that made the embarrassment worse. How could he have been so sharding stupid!

Oh, she felt _something_. But L'kub... Confused, she shook her head. "No," she lied. She glanced up at him, at his red face and hard eyes. "Shards, Benram..." she whispered. "I'm sorry..."

The shame was mixing with a mound of guilt. The realization was hitting him - he had betrayed his friend. Benram had kissed, and almost stole, the girl L'kub loved. He had betrayed his _best_ friend, and for what? She felt _nothing_ for him? She had kissed him, he knew she had! Why would she kiss him if she felt nothing? Benram's arms dropped and he took a step back from her, his hands clenching into fists of rage. _She_
made him do it! _Traelyn_ made him betray his best friend! She had used him! He was about to open his mouth to speak when he heard the door open quietly.

"Trae, Benram, he's coming!" Orobo whispered as he slipped into the room, followed by several more of their friends. "Oh hey, it looks really good. Nice job with the decorations!"

Her eyes flickered briefly to Benram before she looked away. Shoving down her feelings - she'd deal with them later- and forcing a smile for Orobo, Trae went over to him. "It'd better meet your approval," she teased after hugging him briefly. "We spent _time_ on these!"

Benram grabbed the ladder and walked it back to where it had been before, refusing to look at the silly grin on Orobo's face. She had probably gotten to him too. She had probably kissed all the boys. She was a deciever - an unfaithful little tease who flirted and floated among all the boys and he had been just another one of her pawns in her little game. Well, L'kub could have her! And he would never tell. Benram would not be the one responsbile for breaking his friend's heart. He'd let L'kub believe he had found a gold, when she was really just a wherry in disguise.

Last updated on the October 26th 2005

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Just a Wherry in Disguise