Guilty Gifts
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Rochelle
Date Posted: 31st July 2008
Characters: Eleada
Description: Eleada contemplates the dependable fickleness of men and relationships.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 9 of Turn 4
Eleada sat on her little couch, nursing a glass of red wine from a bottle B'ram had brought her, staring blankly at the far wall.
She'd been there a while now. Even her feline Arieoss had given up on her and moved on to curl up between Gliorith's wings. But for once, she didn't really mind being alone in her weyr. She actually wanted to be alone.
She ran an idle finger along the top rim of her glass, wondering. B'ram knew what she liked, and had been keeping her well stocked, but she knew that it wasn't merely that he liked buying her things or a nice gesture.
No, recently his gifts had been reeking of guilt.
She knew this pattern too well, and she hated it. Things would be great for a while, and then her refusal to sleep with a man whenever they felt like it started to chafe at them, and the men left her alone. She'd seen it before. They always found someone else, someone more obliging to their physical needs, and moved on.
It never failed. She didn't ask exclusivity of her lovers. No, it wasn't fair to do that when she carried the risk of dying every time Gliorith rose. But she did ask that if they made a date with her, that they either followed through or let her know if they couldn't make it. It was common courtesy. Yet when a man started having more than one woman in their lies, she'd noticed they started to forget. Forget that they'd made other plans, and then forget to warn her that she was no longer on the schedule for the night.
And when they finally remembered, she started seeing them with a gift in hand every single time.
And usually at least a day late too.
She wondered briefly how the big lord holders with multiple mistresses ever managed to juggle so many women without losing something essential. Men just didn't seem to be capable of tracking more than one woman at once, and yet couldn't seem to resist juggling them like in some obscene gather skit.
She didn't think she was asking much to be told if someone wasn't going to keep a date with her. Shell, she even knew better than to ask where they had been during that time, even though she could always tell if there was another woman –or man, as the case may be. She never asked unless she felt the need to, and generally by the time she did the relationship was on it's last legs.
Asking or looking for that kind of information hurt too. Occasionally, things worked out. But she didn't give herself to just anyone for this very reason. She couldn't offer them everything, no matter how much they said they didn't care about it, and in the end they always left her alone again.
Alone. Always alone.
She shivered, biting back a sob as she rang her finger around the rim once last time before drowning her sorrows in the glass. They were always younger, healthier girls that attracted their attention. Girls without three sons and the ability to conceive even after spending half the day going in and out of /between/. Now it was happening again, the same way it always did.
She reached for the bottle to splash some more wine in her glass.
It was a guilty gift, but at least she could enjoy it until she either made a decision or went numb to her feelings.
Last updated on the August 1st 2008