The World of Young Romance

Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 21st October 2005

Characters: D'cal, O'dan
Description: D'cal comes to O'dan for a bit of advice on what is right and wrong
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 14 of Turn 3

Considering the former reputation in the Weyr, D'cal figured O'dan was the best person to talk to about these things. Besides, who else could he talk to? J'darin? "I brought you a snack, O'dan."

O'dan looked at the tray in the boy's hands and grinned. "A snack? You brought me a feast! Especially compared to what I've been eating lately.
Pull up a chair, lad."

"Thanks. Well, they're all for you." D'cal smiled, though the expression wasn't exactly mirrored in his eyes.

Taking the food, O'dan spared the weyrling a brief look. Although it was possible that D'cal was so taken by O'dan's handsome charm that he'd decided to visit with baked goods, the bronzerider had the feeling that there was something else the boy wanted to discuss. "You don't look too happy, D'cal."

"I'm..." the weyrling searched his mind for a word that would describe the way he had been feeling the last few days - confused, angry, lonely, frustrated, conflicted... "Lost."

O'dan nodded and pushed the tray back toward's D'cal in silent offering. For the first time in months, O'dan felt like he was back on solid footing.
Someone had finally come to him with the sort of problem he'd been _good_ at solving--the sort of thing he'd enjoyed dealing with as a wingsecond.
"You've come to a place where everything you have to learn is the opposite of everything you grew up being told." "And everything I've _done_..." D'cal looked down at his hands, to ashamed to look O'dan in the eye. "I mean, I know at the Weyr it's not wrong, but... I don't know, with all these things that are not wrong, I'm not sure what _is_ wrong anymore. Or what is right."

O'dan smiled gently at him. "We have a more pragmatic idea about right and wrong here. You're a weyrling. Your duty is to take care of yourself and your dragon, and to learn what you need to learn to fight Thread. As long as you're doing that, let everything else fall where it falls." "So as long as I prepare myself to fight Thread, it doesn't matter who I hurt because there is no right or wrong? And I can just expect that its all right for anyone to hurt me as long as its right for them? You mean I can use L'nar's body to vent my frustrations and be angry at Dyaera for chosing other men over me, and I can use Zanie to feel normal again, and J'darin can hate me because I ride a blue and its all right because there _is_ no wrong?" D'cal shook his head vehemently. "I can't live like this, O'dan.
There has to be _something_ that I can do right, and _something_ I have to appologize for because I'm wrong."

The bronzerider accepted the tirade with little more than a nod. "Here's a little perspective for you, D'cal. I was ill prepared to fight Thread. Do you think the wrong you've done L'nar, or Dyaera, or Zanie... or even the wrong J'darin had done to you... do you think _any_ of that compares to the wrong that I did in failing my wing?" "You didn't do that intentionally, though, O'dan," D'cal said quietly, suddenly guilty that he had dumped his problems on the former Weyrleader.

"Oh, and you hurt people on purpose?" O'dan replied, just as quietly.
"Somehow I doubt that." "No, not on purpose," the weyrling admitted. "But _knowingly_. Isn't that just as bad?"

"You didn't do it on purpose," O'dan repeated. "So you learn from your mistakes and you don't do it again. Making mistakes is human, and you're a young man, D'cal. You have a lot more mistakes to make in your life. No one is asking you not to make them. All we're asking is for you to learn from them. Like me..." O'dan managed a half smile. "I certainly won't be leading a Wing again any time soon." D'cal returned his half smile, but it quickly faded. "But O'dan... I don't _want_ to stop. That's just it. Zanie makes me feel good when I'm with her. But if I had to chose it wouldn't be her. But Dyaera doesn't want to be limited, and I'm just not like that. Zanie was craftbred... she understands..." He looked down at his hands, disgusted with himself.
"Shards..."

O'dan found himself chuckling without meaning to. "Lad, if you're hoping to find a reliable way to navigate the world of young romance without hurting people, I'm afraid you're doomed to disappointment. Sometimes it happens...
but that doesn't make _romance_ wrong. You just have to do the best you can and try not to step on too many people's feelings. But feelings mend in the end, D'cal. There are some things that don't, and those are the things you need to be concerned with." D'cal sighed. His brain was starting to hurt trying to shove all these ideas so contrary to everything he ever believed. "Well, if hurting someone is inevitable, then I should find the way in which the least amount of hurt will be caused." **Dyaera wouldn't care if I had another lover. Zanie would be hurt if she was just another girl... I would be hurt if I didn't have either one... or both...**

"And that," O'dan said firmly, "would be you doing the _right_ thing. Stop worrying about it so much, D'cal. You're a good man." "I hope so," the bluerider replied. **And I hope I can find a way to stay that way...**

Last updated on the October 21st 2005

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

The World of Young Romance