Because You Like Him

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 4th August 2007

Characters: Nialyn, Birigundi
Description: Biri admits something important to Nia
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 4, day 15 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows "Humiliation"

Birigundi

Birigundi walked out of the bathroom carrying some wet towels. Soon as he walked out from behind the curtain, though, he could already tell someone was missing. "Where's Nia?"

"She left," Riwalla said guiltily.

"Well... where did she go?" Did _he_ do something?

A'tep shrugged. "I dunno. She just... left."

"Well, she wouldn't have just left if you guys had been a little nicer,"
W'vrey muttered, casting an accusing look at the greenrider.

"What?" Thesera snapped back. "It's not _my_ fault she couldn't take a joke!"

"Oh shards," Birigundi groaned, throwing the towels down into the middle of the circle. "You guys clean up your own mess. I've gotta find her."

This was exactly why he had never introduced her to his friends before! He _knew_ they would never be able to understand each other. Nia was just so sweet, so sensitive... And his friends was exactly the opposite! They could be crass and rude, and admittedly so could he when he was with them... But Birigundi never wanted her to see that side of him. Shards, what did she think of him now?

"Nia!" he called down the hall, racing first towards her weyr. "Nia, are you in there?" He pounded on the door and pressed his ear against the wood. There was no sound from within. "Shards, shards, shards!" he muttered, running back the way he had come. Where could she have gone? The kitchens? Outside? Where would Nia go? **Oh Faranth, I've just gotta find her!**

Nialyn was, in fact, outside, sitting miserably along one of the paths she and Biri jogged on in the mornings. It was completely deserted now, which was just as well. She didn't want anyone seeing her in such a state. Angrily she swiped more tears from her cheeks, frustrated with herself for allowing that bitch to get to her. **They're just words, Nia.** Huddling around her knees, she stared out at nothing. **Just don't think about them.** But shards, it wasn't just what Thesera had said. It was the implications behind her words that hurt more. Obviously she had slept with Biri before--and still was. Obviously he acted just like they did when Nialyn wasn't around. Obviously she wasn't as special as she thought she was compared to them. They saw her as a girl he'd "knocked up." The phrase was hardly flattering, and when people used that phrase to describe someone, they obviously didn't think much of the person they were describing.

Her thoughts turned once more to Biri, and her eyes narrowed. Scorch him for leaving her alone like that! Scorch him for associating with that awful group. Scorch him for being one of them.

"Nia! _Nia_!!!" Birigundi was starting to feel like the search was hopeless. Shards, she could _anywhere_! She was probably back in her warm room and just not answering her door. It was probably too late. Shells, she probably hated him now... "Nia, please!"

The sound of her name startled her out of her dark thoughts, but when she recognized the voice, more frustrated tears welled in her eyes and she lifted her face, knowing it would make her more than visible to him.
**He's probably come to apologize again.** She could just hear him: "I didn't mean to hurt you." And she could just hear herself saying in response to excuse him and forgive him his actions: "You always never mean to, Biri..." Well, she wouldn't say it tonight! Her jaw tightened.

Birigundi noticed the face looking back at him, framed with long blonde hair. "Nia?" he asked hopefully, taking a couple slow steps in her direction. "Nia?"

She stayed silent, not yet trusting her voice as she watched him approach.

Her silence was worse than anything she might have said to admonish him. "Oh please, Nia, please don't hate me. Please say something. Anything."

"What do you want me to say, Biri?" Her tone was a low growl. "Do you want me to tell you what I think of your...friends? Or what they think of me? How I regret every sharding moment of being there tonight? How ashamed and dirty I feel? How angry I am?"

Birigundi wanted to just sink into the ground. "I know what you think of them." And he was pretty sure he knew what they were thinking of her. "But please don't think they are me."

"You're one of them! You always have been ever since you arrived here! I've heard stories, Biri." When she looked angrily up at him, it was like she was looking up at a stranger. "Sometimes I feel like I don't even know you."

"Funny," he said, shaking his head sadly, "you know I always thought you are the only person who really does know me."

Taken aback, she glared at him. "What?"

"Well, you met my friends. It's fun to get drunk and act stupid with them, but... I don't have to be that way with you. I like just talking to you and going for walks, eating together. Just _being_ with you is fun. You're my _best_ friend, Nia."

She stared wordlessly up at him for a long moment from her huddled position around her knees. His best friend?

Birigundi shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. Finally, just to break the silence, he said, "So anyway, I'm sorry about tonight, and I'm sorry my friends were jerks. But I hope I didn't do anything to hurt you. If I did, I'm sorry."

Nialyn had been so ready to tear into him--had been so ready to rage through frustrated tears to make him see just how much she'd been hurt and humiliated. But her anger was fading. Even her tears. Looking down, she shifted over--a silent invitation for him to sit beside her. When she felt his arm lightly brush against hers, she murmured, "Sometimes...sometimes I see you as two different people."

"I suppose sometimes I am two different people," he said softly, bracing his hands on his knees. "But the man I am when I'm with you, I like him best."

"Why?"

He shrugged a shoulder, studying the toe of his boot. "I dunno. I just know I do. Maybe it's because I know you like him."

She couldn't help the shyly quizzical expression on her face when she glanced at him. Was her opinion of him really that important? "If you like him so much..." she hesitated.

Birigundi could understand the implied question. It was one he rather did not want to answer. She might not like his friends, and he might not always like the person he was when he was with them, but he sure liked the way being that person could make him feel. He liked the wine and the women, and he would only be young once, but he knew with her Hold-bred mentality she couldn't understand that. Part of him didn't _want_ her to understand...

Reaching out he put an arm around her waist and leaned in to kiss her neck softly. "I like _you_ that much." And he meant that. Birigundi knew someday he would give up that life and be just her Biri. He would do it for her. Just not yet.

**Never enough,** she thought, resting her head against his shoulder. How was it that she could feel both touched and disappointed at the same time?
She knew him well enough to know he was avoiding answering behind sweet flattery, and shards...she wished she could be content with what he gave her.

Last updated on the August 5th 2007

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Because You Like Him