Sleeping Alone

Writers: Rochelle
Date Posted: 29th August 2006

Characters: Eleada
Description: A rough night causes Eleada sleep with her dragon.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 17 of Turn 3

Eleada stared up at the dark ceiling of her weyr, trying to ignore the silence and sleep. Her ears kept straining though, and for the eighth night in a row she realized it was for the sound of breathing other than her own. Frustrated, she stuffed her head between two pillows, thinking that if she couldn't _hear_, she wouldn't listen for what wasn't there.
She tossed a few more times, trying to get comfortable with the pillows braced around her head, and finally drifted off.

"NO!"

She awoke to her own shout, breathing heavily and looking frantically around, ears straining, trying to find the familiar sleeping face...

She was alone.

With a sound that was closer to a sob than a groan, she staggered out of bed, stumbling blindly in the dark for a few moments until she found the nearest glowbasket. She wrenched the cover off, then sank back down on her bed, hoping the soft light would dispel more than just the memory of the dream.

Ever since she had left High Reaches, if she wasn't absolutely exhausted, she spent almost every night tossing in vague and frantic dreams. She was so tired. She had been plowing through the days, trying to fill them to dropping, but it wasn't enough.

Linrary was gone. The fact she continually danced around during the day could not be escaped at night. There was nothing of her friend here, no echoes that transformed themselves into a remembered voice, no familiar spaces that brought memories to mind. She wasn't at High Reaches anymore, and her friend was dead. There was no one else pretending to be asleep in the dark, to complain about the light or tell her that it was only a nightmare. The thoughts stabbed at a hole in her heart that had not healed over the months or with a whole new life. Linrary was gone. She was alone in her weyr.

Alone.

With a faint whimper as a fragment of dream was stirred to the front of her memory, she reached for Gliorith. The mental touch was less than reassuring. Her green was sleeping soundly on her couch, and wasn't going to wake for anything less than mating or an earthquake.

Eleada shuddered. Memories of the earthquake at Thayan Peak raced through her brain, a child's vivid memory of screams blending with the vaguer memories of screams from her dream. Other screams began to creep into her mind. Draconic screams, rider's screams as they were severed from each other, and left alone forever. As she had almost been, when Gliorith was scored, and had been when Linrary died.

There was no one there. The room was quiet, and very empty.

She curled into a ball, pulling the furs over her head to protect her from the cool night air as she shoved the images aside with the force of desperation. She was fine. Linrary was gone, and her memory would continue to hurt, but Gliorith was still there. She still had Gliorith, and always would have her. She had no intention of lingering if she lost her. She wasn't alone. Gliorith was there in her mind, was always there even when sound asleep like now, and Arieoss was probably still hunting somewhere in the weyr. She was being foolish.

Finally she poked her head out of the furs when the air under them became too stifling to breathe. It was too quiet. **Of course it's quiet!** She scolded herself. **There's no one there.** She closed her eyes, willing herself to try and sleep again. Her ears strained suddenly, trying to catch a noise.

Nothing. Not even the sound of a tunnelsnake scurrying in the dark.
Arieoss would never allow one to come so near.

She couldn't sleep like this. Fumbling with the furs that had knotted around her, she draped one around her shoulders, clutching at it as she sat up and whispered into the dimly lit room. "Arieoss?"

No answer. "Arieoss?"

"Arieoss?" She wasn't whispering anymore. The silence drove her out of her bed again, searching the room in the dim light of the single glow.
"Arieoss?"

"Arieoss?"

The feline wasn't there. Frantically, she searched the room one more time.
No Arieoss. She was alone in the room. "Arieoss?" She tried again. Her voice was rising now, and she felt tears stinging her cheeks as she realized her voice sounded as if she was nearly hysterical. "Arieoss?"

Eleada left her room, going into Gliorith's weyr. "Arieoss?" She asked, trying to calm and lower her voice, but noticing instead that it was edging nearer to panic. Her heart was suddenly disturbingly loud.
"Arieoss?"

**Shards and shells, _no_.** She thought fiercely, dashing away a few tears with the back of her hand. **Get a hold of yourself, Eleada! You've slept alone before.** "Arieoss?"

There was a whuffling sigh, and a slight snore from Gliorith. The whoosh of air from the green caused her nightdress to plaster itself around her thighs, and she nearly laughed aloud at herself as she surveyed her sleeping green. She paused, and felt her tense shoulders fall. There was Arieoss, curled neatly in the crook of the dragon's tail, barely visble in the light from her doorway. Eleada stood there for a moment watching them, feeling her cheeks burn in shame. They were right here. She was a grown woman. She had no right to feel so relieved that they were in the room with her. She'd had her little panic fest, and it was time to go back to bed.

She started toward Gliorith's tail, intending to scoop up the feline and place her on the bed with her as she had for the last few nights, then paused. The sound of Gliorith's breathing was soothing, and the green was always more comforting than the furs, even with Arieoss on top of her... With a sigh, she backed off, and returned to her room, peeling the remaining furs and a pillow off her bed, and dumped the whole mess beside Gliorith. **A fine picture I am.** She thought scathingly, feeling tears of shame run down her cheeks as she arranged her bedding. She felt ridiculously relieved to have the warm presence of her dragon at her back as she finally curled up to sleep. **A grown woman -a dragonrider!- afraid to sleep alone.**

Last updated on the August 30th 2006

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Sleeping Alone