A Tree is Known by it's Fruit

Writers: Eimi, Erin Smith
Date Posted: 21st August 2006

Characters: Milroy, Benaroy
Description: Milroy consults with his father about his impending fatherhood.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 13, day 7 of Turn 3

Milroy had awoken in the middle of the night, without the slightest clue why. He'd been plagued by restless nights recently, especially with Abrigi struggling to get comfortable in the bed next to him. She was now pregnant enough that comfortable sleep was nearly impossible, and was constantly tossing and turning. But on this particular night, Abrigi was sleeping soundly, and Milroy was left puzzled as to what had awoken him. Things were going reasonably well in his personal life, as well as in the Hold which was beginning to adjust to the refugees from the Earthshake.

"I'm going to be a father." Milroy stated to himself, low enough so as not to awaken his wife. He felt a bit of panic rise up in him.
He'd never really thought about it before. Of course, he had known there was going to be a child requiring his attention, but he'd never really considered the responsibility. What if he was a bad parent?
What if his child hated him? What if he dropped him? "I don't know if I'm ready for this!" Milroy exclaimed under his breath.

The next morning, he decided to go talk to his father. If anyone knew anything about fatherhood, it was Benaroy. He'd been through it all; seeing his children born, losing their mothers, seeing his children pass away... if there was anyone who could give Milroy advice, it would be he. He stood outside of his father's door for several long moments before finally knocking. "Father? Can I have a moment of your time?"

"Mmmhmmm," Benaroy hummed as he finished perusing the hide in front of him. He pointed absently to a chair. "Have a seat, Milroy."

Milroy sat in the proffered seat, fidgeting with the hem of his tunic nervously. Milroy wasn't ordinarily the nervous type, but given the circumstances he had a good excuse. He decided to start off simple.
"How are you this morning? And the Hold as well?" Things had been going pretty well the past few sevendays, and something about this concerned him. It was like the calm before a storm in his mind.

"Just fine, on both accounts," his father answered absently as he finished the last few sentences. "How is Abrigi coming along?" Benaroy was always interested in the pregnancies of his Holders. They promised growth for more than just the family, but the Hold as a whole.

Milroy smiled broadly. "She's due in about six sevendays. Hopefully a good sturdy son, although a daughter is always good as well." He fidgeted for another second, debating, before coming out with his true purpose for visiting. "I'm afraid to be a father." He blurted out quickly. No use beating around the bush, as his father was quite the busy man. "I mean, with all my siblings of course I know a lot about children, but what if I'm a horrible father?" He was mentally kicking his own tail, as he normally was far more articulate, but something about his father always made him feel 12 turns old again.

The Lord Holder looked up at his son as he set the hide aside. "Why do you think you would be a horrible father?"

Milroy paused for a second. "Well, I guess because I've never done it before. I mean, trying new things doesn't ordinarily bother me, but children are so fragile. And they pick up on everything you do." He'd seen children over the turns, committing terrible crimes against others because their parents never imparted a sense of right and wrong. "I mean, what if my child grows up to hate me? Please tell me impending fatherhood gets easier after the first one..."

"Every child is different and unique," the Lord Holder said thoughtfully. "It does not get easier. But it isn't as scary as it seems at first. Fatherhood is as natural as motherhood. You are not a cruel man, Milroy. If you are patient and understanding, you children will love you."

Milroy smiled at his father. "Thank you. That means a lot, especially coming from you." Milroy hadn't had the closest of relationships with his father, but there was always a mutual respect, and truly he did love his father. "Any other advice you can give me? I wonder how this is going to change Abrigi's and my relationship." He had feelings for his wife, yes, but there marriage was more political than romantic, which Milroy was sure his father knew. He had heard having children brought a couple closer together, and honestly, he wanted to have a romantic relationship like many did.

"Well, you cannot expect too much of her at first. The first few months can be... rather lonely," the Lord Holder admitted. "Your wife will be an emotional wreck, her body will still be recovering from the birth so she will not be in an amourous mood for a few months, and most of her time will be devoted to the baby. If you take an active interest in the child, it helps." Benaroy had to admit he didn't take nearly the interest in his latter children as he had his first two. Things had been different then. He loved Keizha whole heartedly, and had been overjoyed when Keiroy had been born. Then he was just the Heir of a prosperous Hold, and Benzhanin was a welcome addition to his growing family, not a necessity. After their deaths... he didn't have the time or the heart to throw himself into his family. It was something he regretted, and yet knew could not have been avoided. Amber Hills had to survive... "Its natural to be afraid, Milroy. But don't let that stand in your way from trying. Never allow your fear to rule you."

Milroy nodded. "Thanks a lot. You have no idea how much you've helped me." He smiled warmly at Benaroy. "I know you've much to do today, so I'll leave you alone unless you needed me for anything?"

"Not now son, thank you." The Lord Holder watched as Milroy left the room and felt a slight stab of envy. **Oh to be a new father again...
for the first time...**

Last updated on the August 25th 2006

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A Tree is Known by it's Fruit