Frayed

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 19th February 2025

Characters: Zaverin
Description: Riyanths' killer, Kapera's attacker, finally wakes up.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 2, day 10 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: Jeyme, J'nus, Kapera
Series: Part of the "A Night to Remember" series
Notes: Warning - suicidal thoughts and depression are present in this post.

His memory felt... tattered. Like he was grasping at the frayed edges of a tapestry, trying to keep the threads from unraveling, because the more they unraveled the less sense he could make of the memories.

There was Jeyme's face. Her, he remembered. She was smiling. Looking amazing in the dress she'd picked out for the.... What had the dress been for?

A special occasion, but what occasion? Had it been a Hatching? No. That didn't seem right.

Completion.... Barrier Lake Weyr. That's what it was, celebrating the end of construction on the Weyr.

Another woman's face swam before him - Kapera. This was a face that had haunted his dreams for Turns, ever since Euvimeth's death. It was all _her_ fault.

That's why... That's why he'd left Jeyme's smiling face. Why he'd looked into her eyes, shining with love, and thrown it all away... It was all for Euvimeth. No one could ever come before Euvimeth. Not even Jeyme.

He could still see the shock and confusion in the Weyrwoman's beautiful eyes. Still feel his hand gripped around the handle of the knife. The plunge and the twist. The roar of her dragon still echoed in his ears.

His eyelids fluttered open but he found himself horribly disoriented as he stared up at the unfamiliar, yet somehow familiar, ceiling.

The infirmary. That's where he was. That's why it was familiar, only he'd never been the patient.

His face and head felt... puffy and sore. Trying to move was excruciating. His ribs were on fire, sending spasms of pain through his torso. Broken, one or two of them had to be, he determined.

Tentatively licking his lips, he hissed at the cuts there, and at the brain-rattling ache in his jaw.

Another face loomed before him. This one angry, blind with rage. It was J'nus. He recognized the Wingleader. He hadn't calculated that Kapera's lover would get there so quickly. A costly miscalculation - not that it mattered. There had never been an escape plan. There had been only one goal - to make Kapera suffer as he had suffered.

The door to the examination room opened. A healer walked in. Zehva. He'd worked with her plenty of times. The look in her eyes was what he expected. Disgust. Hate. He was a killer, after all.

She was a professional, though. She checked his bandages, looked in his eyes and ears, and asked about his pain. She even gave him something for the pain. Not a lot, but something.

He remembered all of those patients he'd helped cross over into death after their lifemates had passed. He'd simply upped their fellis dose, as they'd asked, as they'd begged, and he had been happy to do it for them. He considered it a courtesy. A courtesy he was sure would not be extended to him.

Zaverin stared up at the ceiling as Zehva left the room again, murmuring something to someone outside the door. They were probably guarding it, he imagined. He wondered when one of the Weyr's blowhard bronzeriders would come down to try and intimidate him.

It didn't matter, whatever punishment they chose. He had died the day Euvimeth had. He had been dead for a long time.

However they decided to execute him, he would finally join Euvimeth in oblivion, and that was ultimately what he'd wanted from the very beginning. Had J'nus not interfered, he probably would have killed himself. Now he would have to wait and see what kind of death they deemed suitable for him. All death was death in the end, so it didn't matter.

He only had one regret. Jeyme. He wished he'd never met her that night under the stars by the lake. A part of him had known better, but he'd found himself enjoying his time with her. She was easy to enjoy, easy to love, and now.... He hated that he had done this to her. She didn't deserve it.

The only good thing was that he would soon be out of her life permanently. He'd known from the beginning she deserved someone better, someone whole. Now she could have that opportunity.

The warm blanket of unconsciousness descended upon him as the medicine kicked in, sending him back to the tattered pieces of his tapestry.

Last updated on the February 24th 2025

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Frayed