Taking the Dive

Writers: Ames
Date Posted: 26th June 2014

Characters: D'naz
Description: D'naz reflects on how things have been going
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 15 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: F'aen

With the eggs on the sands now at least it gave him something else to
think about, something else to draw his attention other than that
which seemed to consume all his thoughts during his waking _and_
sleeping hours.

F'aen. He missed the greenrider terribly. His heart ached. In the
beginning he'd been too upset and too afraid of what _could_ have
been. Then he'd found himself uncertain and embarrassed by how he'd
reacted, so once again he'd stayed away. Then it seemed as though
F'aen had moved on, found others to interest him.

He twirled the glass of liquor in his hands before bringing it up and
taking a sip. He looked around his quiet, empty weyr. He missed the
joy that had been here when he'd been with F'aen. Now it just seemed
sad and lonely.

Sighing he downed the rest of his glass and rose to get another.
D'naz's own spark of life had seemed to dwindle some these past weeks
and months since their breakup. He wanted to feel that joy in his
heart again, but not matter what he tried nothing seemed to work. The
drink took the edge off, but even that was a sorry substitute for the
company of the man he'd come to care about more deeply than he could
have ever imagined.

But now what? His heart told him one thing, but his mind told him he'd
lost his chance. How did he bridge the gap he'd made between them? How
could he mend the rift and start anew? Each time he thought he could,
something seemed to stand in his way. What if F'aen rejected him for
good? Then _all_ hope would be lost.

Sighing again, he poured a bit more of the drink into his glass.

**Am I really any better off now than I would be if he turns me away
for good?** D'naz thought sorrowfully as he stared at the amber liquid
in his glass. He'd managed to keep the worst of the demons at bay, but
his fear was that when all hope was taken those dark demons from Turns
past might envelop him once again. Dare he take the chance? But how
could he continue living as just a shadow of the joyful, happy man he
had been before. The joy that F'aen had brought back to his life and
his heart.

Closing his eyes, he thought of N'ril. N'ril had been his one true
love. His loss had nearly caused D'naz to lose himself as well. The
risk in finally giving himself up to another was a scary one indeed.

Then there, in the back of his head he recalled a moment he and N'ril
had shared as younger men.

~Flashback~

N'ril had taken them for a little romantic adventure together. It had
been one of the best afternoons they had shared.

As they finished their meal, N'ril said, "Come on D'naz. There's
something I want to show you." Reaching for his hand, N'ril led D'naz
up a rocky path. When they reached the top, the view was astounding.
It took D'naz's breath away.

Turning he smiled at N'ril. "This is beautiful."

N'ril gave him a goofy grin and replied. "Yes, yes it is, but it's not
the only reason I brought you up here." Pointing he showed D'naz a
little waterfall just off to the side that was rather high up the
rocky face of the wall.

"See that. I know you've never been fond of heights, but to dive from
that platform is amazing. I want you to do it with me." N'ril looked
to D'naz.

D'naz wanted to back away from the edge of the cliff immediately.

"I don't think so. You know I don't like things like that," he
replied, but before he could pull away N'ril caught his hand.

"We've been together for so many Turns now D'naz. I don't want our
love to grow stale. If we're not taking risks together than we're not
living. Take this one risk with me. I'll keep you safe. Let me show
you that diving into something that might otherwise make you afraid
will give you the best thrill of your life."

~End Flashback~

"It's not worth living if you don't take risks," D'naz muttered to
himself. N'ril was right and he'd forgotten that. They had had an
amazing time that afternoon and D'naz had felt as though he could
conquer the world after he'd jumped off that ledge with the love of
his life.

Now it was time to take another leap and see where it would lead him.

Last updated on the June 28th 2014

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Taking the Dive