The Fallout

Writers: Clancey, Heather
Date Posted: 13th June 2014

Characters: Devyn, J'darin
Description: Devyn and J'darin experience the fallout from the Weyrlingmaster's actions in the Dining Cavern.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 1 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: N'call, Cardella

Devyn

J'darin

Devyn was seething as she left the Dining Cavern and headed to the
ground level weyr that she shared with Dragonsfall's Weyrlingmaster.
She could not get over how childish he had been, stomping in to dish
out some scathing barb without even allowing her the chance to
explain. Did he not owe her that much? Had she complained when he had
won Cardella's flight way back and enjoyed his after-flight time with
the other greenrider? Had she gotten mad when he had taken her to his
home only to be treated like a Weyr whore by his Uncle? No. Had she
given him any ultimatums about spending time with her? Because Faranth
knew they didn't see each other as much as she would like... No, she
hadn't.

Opening the door to their weyr she was at least relieved to see that
he was there and not drinking. That didn't ease her anger any though
as she walked brittlely over to the wardrobe and jerked out his old
tunic, the one she slept in every night.

He had almost went to his office instead of their weyr, but he had
found himself out on Hasaarth's couch with the bronze, leaning against
his lifemate for comfort. The anger he felt was dwarfed by what he
consider proof that being weyrmates meant something completely
different to him than it did to Devyn.

His emotions were such a tangled knot that at first he didn't even
realize she'd come into the weyr. The wardrobe they shared made a
creaking noise - he needed to check that - when she shut it and he
turned around to look at her in surprise.

"You decided to come home?" Surprise, clearly, edged with bitter self
recrimination. He didn't actually know how dumb he'd acted. He'd
been too aggravated at the sight of another man cozying up to _his_
weyrmate to think twice about the words that had come out of his
mouth.

"... I didn't think I'd see you for a while, given how much you seemed
to be enjoying yourself with N'call."

That was certainly not going to help, was it bronzerider?

Devyn spun around, fire blazing in her eyes, "Be careful how you talk
to me right now, J'darin, you are on thin ice as it is!" She began
jerkily pulling off clothing, her fingers trembling with emotion, "I
sat down beside of a _friend_tonight to thank him for helping me clean
up after the party that _you_ left! You are a Weyrlingmaster for
Faranth's sake so why don't you take some of your own teachings about
jealous and sexuality and use it!"

She yanked her gown over her nude form and kicked her crumpled clothes
over toward the hamper, "I have been _everything_ a weyrmate is
suppose to be, J'darin, EVERYTHING! I support you and your work and
understand your time restraints, I love you without the jealousy that
is commonly attached, and I even try to play a good hostess for your
parties! I love you and I come home to you every night! What more do
you want from me? To be chattel like the women from your home?!"

His blue eyes burned in response and he snapped, "Everything a
weyrmate is supposed to be is precisely where we differ! Yes, you are
amazing, yes you helped host the ONE PARTY. ONE that we had. YES I
got called away from it. Yes I am busy and you seem to understand.
But here's the thing, Devyn. I thought weyrmates were faithful.
outside of Flights. No, I don't get jealous when someone else wins
your green's flights. YES I teach the weyrlings the SAME THING.
But what I don't teach them is that when they are in a committed
relationship that it can suddenly become "uncommitted" for one
evening, just because I haven't been HOME MUCH!"

He took a few steps toward her, vibrating with passion. "Before you
convince yourself how wrong I am, sitting with a friend is ALOT
different then snuggled up next to one getting kissed! How would YOU
feel if you saw me snuggled up with another woman whispering in her
ear or kissing her?! Don't tell me you wouldn't care because I will
not believe it!"

"You are making more out of this than there really was! I would ask
you if you trust me but it is quite obvious you don't! He wasn't
whispering in my ear but yes, he did kiss me on the temple. It wasn't
anything sexual, we had just been joking around!" Devyn shook her head
as she pulled back the comforter on their bed, "You are just bound and
determined believe that I am cheating on you or leaving you!"

That was all the encouragement he needed and he followed her to their
bed, though he was pretty sure she wasn't going to let him in it with
her.

"Because everyone else has, Devyn. EVERYONE. Two goldriders, a
greenrider, and a Harper.. they ALL LEFT. " their 12 turn age
difference reared its head in this statement. "... and ALL of them
left me. Every.single.one. Why would anyone WANT me? I'm stubborn,
all scarred up, I drink too much, I get too emotional, I'm clearly
damaged goods, and I don't like to share. I have prejudices that I
can't quite erase and I'm NEVER good enough to keep them alive! NEVER!
N'vanik wouldn't even let me do more than hold a spot in a Wing
because I let them die. The weyrlings I train and love ... none of
them stay. None of them ever come back to me later just for a drink!
No, I'm always the teacher, unapproachable. Good enough to teach them
and train them and send them to die, but not good enough for
friendship. Everyone leaves me. Its not you I don't trust,
Devyn. Its ME. I will eventually do something to drive you away
from me. This may even be it! " He ran out of anger but not
passion and shook his head, tears standing out in stark trails on very
tan skin. This probably was it. He realized how ridiculous he
sounded, even though he couldn't stop the feelings.

Devyn sighed, spearing J'darin with her gaze, "I am none of those
people, J'darin, not your precious goldriders, not the other
greenrider and not the crafter. Stop dragging up your past problems
into our relationship. I don't deserve that and neither do you." She
crossed over to stand in front of him, "I am not leaving you, hasn't
even crossed my mind, but I _am_ mad at you and I _do_ need time to
cool off." She went up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his cheek,
"Goodnight." She whirled back around, climbed into their bed, and
rolled so that her back was facing him.

He blinked rapidly a few times, not sure what to say or do. Well,
thats what he got for baring the pain that sometimes overwhelmed him
for her to see. He felt as if she'd told him none of his feelings
mattered and to get over it. But it mattered to him.... why didn't
anyone understand him? Thinking about what she said, if he was
being honest, he supposed he should at least try to get over his past
enough to leave it out of his current relationship. But how do you
"get over" being left over and over? How did women do it? How do you
get over continually training these babies and sending them to die?
And then, them dying? How? Was every Weyrlingmaster cursed with the
incredible depth of emotion he felt? It was too much for him to
figure out right this moment, and she clearly needed space.

"Goodnight." He said aloud and left her alone in their bed. He
might join her later, but he could not lay down with her now.
"Goodnight, my love." He said it again, so softly you could not hear
it, and took himself out to Hasaarth.

Last updated on the June 18th 2014

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The Fallout