After the Storm

Writers: Cymiri, Jelena
Date Posted: 11th January 2014

Characters: Daimhin, Sinla
Description: Daihmin and Sinla rekindle their unlawful passion
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 4, day 2 of Turn 7

Now Genna had left, Sinla felt both relieved and heartbroken. Having her daughter around the past few days had been gut-wrenching. With the way Genna refused to look at or talk to her. But now that she was really gone, Sinla felt more lonely than ever. When the other kids were home it was alright, but now the boys were all off to their lessons and she was home alone, the empty room seemed to echo her guilt and loneliness. Finally, she could take it no longer and she set out to find someone she had been forced to avoid, but who was also the only one she had wanted around during her days of torment. She knew she shouldn´t, but she couldn´t stop herself.

"Daihmin?" she said softly as she peeked around his door.

"Coming!"

He'd not been expecting visitors, and in the sunnily distracted way of those whose mind was elsewhere, he didn't register who's voice he answered, or even that it was female. With the result that he appeared still tugging a new shirt over his head as he changed.

When he realized what his eyes were telling him, guilt made him yank the garment hastily into place, instinctively checking to be certain the neck was laced.

Sinla's heart fluttered at the short display of skin, before the shirt was tugged down. "I need to talk to you, can I come in?" she asked hastily, her eyes searching his for some clue on how he was dealing with recent revelations.

"Of cour.... you probably shouldn't."

He kept his voice calm and level. Only his eyes betrayed some of his real thoughts.

A flicker of hurt crossed Sinla's eyes. "Daihmin, please," she begged softly, marvelling in herself. She never begged. Certainly not for a man's attention.

"Sinla..."

Her tone had hurt like a punch to the gut and it showed.

"...it will hurt..."

He gave up, though the handwave inward was distraught. Worse that she was seen standing there, after all.

The look he turned on her was that of a little lost boy.

"It doesn't have to hurt," Sinla said softly, feeling every bit as lost as he sounded. But she had given up her daughter, did she really have to give up him as well? It seemed to be to cruel to bear.

"Would you like something to drink?"

He strove for normalcy, though his voice was rough, and he avoided eye contact. Resolve failed quickly, though.

"I don't want you hurt. I can't bear to think it."

"Yes, thank you," she said slowly. "Do you have something strong?" When he spoke of hurt again, she shook her head. "I paid my price, Daihmin, now please, don't take yourself away from me as well."

"Of course I do. "

His easy grin flicked to life, then wavered a touch, at her request. He placed the glass on a table at her elbow. His quarters were neat for a man living alone. He was always pretty meticulous, but he'd had a lot of days- alone- to keep himself busy in lately. Things gleamed.

"The hall's finest, if you believe the lying pests. But its smooth. *I* can endorse that, and you can always trust me."

An errant lock of hair had escaped its bindings to curl softly against her neck, he noted as he circled behind her, checking the door was truly shut. No more prying eyes. They couldn't afford them. Lords alone knew how he was going to get her home without scandal. She shouldn't have come. Brave, wonderful fool.

Absentmindedly he reached out to restore the soft blond curl. He was shocked at what suddenly bubbled up in him- and out of him. His fingers slid to her shoulders. It wasn't meant to be cruel, but desperation made his grip more biting then he meant. But he couldn't let go.

"And you *can*, Sinla. You *can* trust me. I'd do anything rather then hurt you. *Anything*. And that's why......that's why...you have to understand... I watch the way your...your... "

The word 'husband' he simply couldn't force out, tongue tied by the guilt for thinking this, let alone saying it, and saying it *to her*, for shame! But the words didn't stop.

"... his eyes slide over your children, over *you* like you're all just another pretty trinket, another chore, another commodity, when I'd give *anything* for a family, to hold my woman- to hold *you*- that close. Your daughter...I can live with her shock, her loathing- but her incomprehension that her mother could be kissed? Sinla... "

His hands slid to cup her elbows just to force himself to relinquish the grip on her shoulders, but it left him uncomfortably aware of the feel of her back against him.

"He lives a life I'd literally kill for- and I don't mean his sharded, stupid craft- and he lets it all run through his fingers like there will always be a tomorrow, like you will always be there- like you and your happiness don't *matter* next to trinkets and baubles and I can't... I can't... "

It was practically a sob. His breathing was ragged in his ears. What was he thinking? He swallowed, taking a few steadying breaths, relaxed the hold he'd so inappropriately taken on her-gently. He'd not shove her around because he was a fool. He lifted her chin with a finger, hoping she'd see the contrition he felt at the terrible display.

"Sinla, I will always be your friend, *always*, but your friend is telling you I no longer know if I can trust *myself* to not to take what another fool doesn't even *care* he has. *You* will always be safe with me but your reputation isn't and it can destroy you. You shouldn't be here."

He'd intended to step back, but his hand slid to cup her neck instead, his thumb stroking the soft skin over the pulse without conscious decision. The other was shaking when it reached for her hip, his lips brushing that same pulse.

"You have to go, Sinla. I love you too much for this."

He couldn't make himself step away, but he'd let her go if she did.

Sinla drank in his words, her eyes big with a girlish amazement to have someone speak so passionate, so lovingly to her. Even if she hadn't already been his in her heart, she was now. "And I love you too much to let go," she whispered hoarsly as she moved into his embrace, hands clinging to bring him even closer against her.

"Let's find a way, Daihmin, let's just find a way to make this possible," she breathed into his shirt. "Promise me that or I will go crazy. I can't go back to... it wasn't living, Daihmin. It would be my death."

She took in a deep breath.

"My reputation to shards, if I can't have you know, all the respect in the world couldn't save me."

And she caught him in another kiss, very much intending to see it through this time.

Last updated on the February 1st 2014

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After the Storm