Tears of the Night

Writers: Paula, Eimi
Date Posted: 11th December 2013

Characters: Aileyan, U'kaiah
Description: U'kaiah wakes up to an emotional Aileyan in the middle of the night...
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 4, day 2 of Turn 7

So many long days in a row had finally caught up with U'kaiah, and just
after tucking Ravyan into is bed, the bronzerider had kicked off his
boots and flopped down on Aileyan's, dead to the world. He hadn't even
noticed when the greenrider had slipped in beside him, and had moved
more out of practiced reflex than any conscious thought when he rolled
on his side and curled his arms around her. After a couple candlemarks,
his body was still exhausted enough to sleep through the night quite
happily, but his mind was starting to register something was amiss. He
could feel beneath his arm and against his body a small shuddering, and
while he was fighting to stay in that comfortable realm of sleep,
something about it was calling him out of it.

Ever since Tavia had finally moved to Dragonsfall, Aileyan had been constantly comparing herself to the older greenrider and found herself lacking. It was eating away whatever frail self-confidence she had, putting an extra stress on her. She had started to discreetly pull away from U'kaiah, re-builing her old defenses around her heart. Worst was that U'kaiah had been too busy to even notice she was distansing herself from him. So, unable to sleep with worries circling in her head like flock of whers, the strain of past month and a half had broken through. She was crying, as quietly as she could.

The sound of a soft, but sharp inhale and his eyelids began to flutter. What was that strange sound? Had Ravyan woken up? Was it morning already? But no, it was more like... crying. Sobbing even. Who could that be? "Aileyan?" he croaked out, his voice still heavy with sleep?

Aileyan stiffened and tried to muffle the sounds into the pillow.

Now U'kaiah was fully awake. There was definitely something wrong. "Sweetheart," he murmured softly, moving his lips closer to her ear. "Is there something wrong?"

Great, now she had woken him up, the thing she had tried to avoid. "Nothing," she murmured to the pillow. Her body wanted to snuggle closer to him for comfort, while her head tried to pull them apart. She ended up making a funny jerking motion.

"Hey now," he said gently, though making no move to let go of her. If anything, he pushed himself closer. "What is it? Are you... crying?"

"Mmpfh" Aileyan's voice was swallowed by the pillow. She tried hastily collect herself.

U'kaiah wasn't buying it. What happened. "Please, Aileyan, tell me what's wrong. Did something happen today?"

"No, nothing special happened," Aileyan lifted her head and wiped her eyes. Obviously he was not going to give up without explanation. "It's.. I've just been under stress lately." She didn't know how to put it into words.

"Well, what is it?" he prompted gently.

"It's everything...you, me, Tavia," she felt like hitting him with a pillow but restrained herself.

Where was this coming from? Sure, he could guess that she wasn't thrilled by Tavia's presence, but she hadn't given any indication that it bothered her _this_ much! "I can't fix this is you don't tell me what you're thinking, sweetheart. What is upsetting you so much?"

"When she lived in Dolphin Cove, I didn't _see_ you two together..." Aileyan said, plucking nervously her blanket with her fingers. How many times she had turned around in dining hall door, when she saw U'kaiah and Tavia there? Good thing she had friends among kitchen staff, so she could take her meal to her weyr. "...and she has a cute baby," she murmured, barely audible. She wanted another child and even more...she wanted U'kaiah's child.

"Well, she has to see _us_ together, too. Have I acted any different towards you since she's come?" He was sure he hadn't. If anything, he had been _more_ attentive, knowing how difficult it had been for her to agree to this arrangement. "And I haven't been ignoring Ravyan just because there's a baby around, have I?"

"No, you haven't. That's just it...it's just me," she punched the pillow with frustration. "My insecurities. Me being silly and holdbred and conjuring worries where there aren't any."

"Hey now," he said gently, reaching out to still her hand. Sometimes U'kaiah had to remind himself that, despite her aura of maturity, Aileyan was still very young. "Just talk to me. Tell me what's going on in your head so I can help you. I _want_ to know how you feel."

"Right now I feel like I'm lacking in everything. She's so more experienced and mature, she is social and has a craft... "

"And you still have all of the qualities that I first fell in love with." He pulled her closer, nuzzling her neck soothingly. "I don't want you to be anything but what you already are."

Aileyan wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his chest. She felt safe there and loved. Still, Tavia had given him something she could...a baby...or could she? She wasn't infertile, just had too narrow pelvis for safe delivery. They had already delivered one baby surgically, why couldn't the healers do it again? And the new Weyrhealer was master surgeon. A glimmer of hope wokened and a plan started to form.

Last updated on the December 27th 2014

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Tears of the Night