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And the world comes tumbling down

Writers: Cymiri, Jelena
Date Posted: 8th September 2013

Characters: Daimhin, Sinla, Genna
Description: Sinla and Daihmin finally give in to their passion - with disastrous results.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 3, day 1 of Turn 7


Genna

Genna

She tried to stay away from him, tried to keep her mind from straying to
him, but it was no use. Ever since they had nearly kissed, feeling
Daihmin's lips on hers was all she could think of, all she really wanted.
She had tried to throw herself on her chores, taken her frustration out on
her stubborn daughter, but nothing took away the churning in her gut. She
missed Daihmin's presence, even just as a friend and finally she couldn't
take it one moment longer. She knew when he was supposed to come off duty
and made her way towards the guards' office in an attempt at a 'casual'
encounter.

Daihmin came to a screeching halt when he realized *who* he had almost run
into, a slightly undignified 'oof' being the only hint, however, of the
shock the figure's sudden appearance had given him.

"S..Sinla..."

There was supposed to be words to follow it, but nothing really suggested
itself.

Sinla hadn't expected Daihmin to pop up so suddenly and she stopped dead in
her tracks when he did, wide eyes locking with his for a moment. "Daihmin,"
she finally replied when she felt confident enough to sound casual. "What a
nice surprise to run in to you. How are you doing?"

Oh well. At least she hadn't asked how he was *feeling*. Obfuscation was
not his strong point. Observation, of course, was.

"I hope it's not pressing matters that bring you down here, d... Sinla."

He coughed softly.

"I'm around. The captain would like to foist a canine on me."

"A canine?" Sinla said, without even having to fake enthusiasm. "Oh, that's
a grand idea, I just love canines! Won't you have lunch with me and tell me
all about it?"

Daihmin was, for once, speechless. He was aware, on a generic background
level, that girls liked fluffy creatures, but this... was just all off of
his expected Way Things Went. After a short pause, he stuttered,

"Y..Yes, of course. Lets do that."

"Oh wonderful," Sinla said, talking a little louder than they usually did
when together as she started to lead him through the corridors to her
living quarters. "Will it be a young canine? You will just have to come and
tell my boys about the responsibilities that come with them, they've been
asking for one for ages."

Daihmin spent a few more moments with his mouth hanging open before he
recalled himself.

"Children do like fluffy things."

Which was not profound, but hey.

"They just don't generally pick up after them. I'll confess, I'm not too
sure myself, but we'll see."

"Exactly, I just know I'll end up the one raising the pup and cleaning up
after it," Sinla said shaking her head. It was taking a lot of effort to
act so casually, but she only had to get him alone and they could talk.
Right?

"Would you like to do the same for mine?"

Ok. That was just stupid, man. He could do better than this.

"I do mean..er..."

Ok, apparently not. It was a relief when he was able to step forward and
open the door for her instead.

Sinla gave him a questioning look, though the answer was already on her
lips. She'd do pretty much anything if it meant getting closer to Daihmin.
The same relief filled her as she stepped into her quarters and he
followed, unseen by prying eyes. When the door closed behind them, she let
her airy front fall. "I've missed you," she confessed with a deep, tortured
sigh.

"Oh Sinla."

It was meant to be a simple statement, but it sounded anything but.

"I've missed you too, of course."

That was more successfully matter of fact. But that sigh worried him-
mostly for how it made him feel.

Sinla looked a little hesitant for a moment, but then stepped forward to
envelop him in a tight hug. What was it about this man that enchanted her
so? She didn't know, all she knew was that she needed him close. "I've been
wearing your hairpin." she said softly, as if making a confession.

There were a lot of things Daihmin would normally do with a woman this
close, but he didn't dare admit them in case the temptation was too great...

So instead he yielded to a more impish yet foolish one, and gently slid the
pin free.

"Well, I can't see it"

As Daihmin pulled the pin out of her hair the blonde locks tumbled down
over Sinla's shoulders. Still holding him tight, his gentle touch was her
undoing. "Oh Daihmin," she whispered breathlessly. "Please kiss me." And in
her words lay sevendays, no, months of yearning, all else temporarily
forgotten as her face tilted upwards to meet his.

"I couldn't. It would be too..."

He did, though. Very, very gently although his fingers tightened on her
arms.

Finally, finally. Sinla surrendered herself to his kiss, marveling in how
right it felt, when it was so, so wrong. This was what it should feel like,
being kissed. Feeling every inch of your body bring set aflame.

The fire didn't last long, though. Sinla was roused from her passion only
moments after, hearing her front door open just a fraction or two too late.
As she turned around, the look of absolute horror on her daughters face was
like a bucket of ice dumped over her head. Twice now Genna had walked in on
them. Only this time Sinla knew she had seen a whole lot more than the
first.

It was ... dizzying. *She* was dizzying.

But this was stupid.

He was not twelve and long past suffering his first infatuation. Especially
past falling head first into a simple kiss as though it was the breath of
life. He was meant to be a cynic, wasn't he? But Sinla held him in a way he
couldn't begin to explain, even- especially- to himself.

He ached for her pain he could sense under the so-perfect surface the world
saw, longed to fix it.

When she pulled back, at first he thought it because of him, and his
fingers were quick to relinquish their grip although instinct longed to
snatch her back.

When he realized what it truly was, though, one hand again grasped her
sleeve. Instinct made him take a step in front of her, though it failed to
throw up any further useful suggestion.

Gennaīs eyes flitted from her motherīs face, to Daihmin as he stepped
before her, to his hand on her *mother*. Shaking her head violently, she
took a step back. "I can't believe this," she stammered, taking a few more
steps back like a cornered animal.

Sinla stepped forward, reaching out for her daughter, feeling an ache like
a knife twisting in her heart as she saw horror turning to disgust in her
daughter's blue eyes. "Genna, I can explain, please, calm down," she spoke
softly, moving forward to take her in her arms, to hold her and tell her
everything was alright, that she had misunderstood. But she knew, oh she
knew that wouldn't happen, Genna was no fool. When the girl turned and
bolted, slamming the door shut after her, for a moment Sinla was rooted to
the spot. Paralyzed with fear and sudden grief she sagged to the ground.

As the material of her sleeve dragged through his fingers, it felt like it
took pieces of him with it. Or maybe he just wished it would, and make it
simple.

Why?

Not why had life dangled before him what was never possible, to add to
other cruelties- the question that had been dogging him for months now- and
not even a more selfish why for the girl's untimely appearance.

Just why he, who'd always prided himself on conscience and duty and at
least a basic claim to goodness, had proved so weak and so deplorable to
allow this?

For a minute, self-loathing overwhelmed even the aching depths of longing
and despair that were never truly too far beneath the surface. And then he
sighed softly, kneeling next to the woman he so adored and feared to ruin.

Well, he'd held it back for propriety, and sense, and duty. And he'd ruined
everything regardless. It was probably another terrible idea, but there'd
never be another time.

"Sinla. Dearest, precious Sinla."

He said it very softly, laying both hands along the edge of her jaw.

"You told me once you felt safe with me, and yet I've done nothing but fail
you. And you deserve more. You've always deserved more than a life that
leaves you aching and desperate, and men who do nothing but fail you. You
are gracious, and you are smart and you are beautiful, and I only wish..."

He bit his lip. Perhaps not.

"... I would *never* have seen you hurt and I beg your forgiveness."

He wanted to hug her, but daren't.

"Genna is young, and she will forgive. Tell her...tell anyone any lie that
will make that easier."

He swallowed. He lived for his work and his reputation was one of the few
things he still had that he cared for. But in a choice between the two of
them...

"...any lie you have to."

He sat back uncertainly, reluctant to stand, reluctant to lean closer.

Sinla looked up at Daihmin helplessly as he spoke, feeling her heart break
in so many different ways. "Oh Daihmin, don't apologize," she whispered,
reaching to grasp his arm. "You gave me something I lacked so very, very
long."

She faltered, her mind going in overdrive. Could she give that up, even for
her daughter? Her children were her life. But what was a life that only
made you feel dead inside?

Her hand tightening around his arm, she looked him in the eyes intensely.
"Please don't take that away from me now. I'll fix this. Somehow."

**How he adored her.**

The thought didn't help.

"Just be happy. That's all I want. Ever. Sinla, I lo..."

No, no, no... he leant forward abruptly. This kiss was not as controlled as
he liked nor as kindly as he cared for. When he could bear to break it, he
squeezed her fingers with a desperation he didn't like to admit.

"I should go. Lords know what the girl will think of me for it, but I
should."

The half admission, the kiss, for a moment it made all worry melt away and
Sinla felt a warmth in her stomach that she had thought forever lost.
"Leave Genna to me, I'll find her, I'll fix this."

Strengthened by his love - oh yes, it was love! - she rose to her feet,
determined to fix everything. She didn't know how, yet, but fix it she
would.

Last updated on the October 16th 2013


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