Her Darkest Time (Part 2 of 2)

Writers: Ames, Eimi
Date Posted: 28th July 2013

Characters: Kenza, U'kaiah
Description: Kenza hits her lowest point.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 16 of Turn 7
Notes: Part 2 of 2

She rose, grabbed the towel and draped it over herself and emerged
from the bathing pools into her room once again.

U'kaiah was back, walking around the room and filling a basket with
empty bottles and wineskins. He looked over his shoulder at her. She
looked a little more like herself at least. "There's food on the table.
And more water. Drink it," he said, not angrily, but firmly. He was
not worried she would find anything else to drink. His first job had
been pouring any remaining alcohol he found off the ledge. It was
strange, though. Had he ever spoken to her with such a tone of
authority, he thought, the words sounding strange, and yet appropriate,
to his own ears. Picking up the mop and bucket he had borrowed, he
walked into her bedchamber to clean the floor.

She didn't argue with him. Kenza was famished and the food called to
her. Moving to the plate, she sat and started devouring the meat and
bread. She drank the water, but it tasted rather plain to her. She
looked around her weyr. He'd cleaned it. That was nice of him. She
knew she had made quite a mess the past few days, but she hadn't
cared.

Her eyes swept the room for a bottle. She wanted something stronger
than the water, but it appeared he'd cleared out everything she'd had
left. Frowning, she turned back to the food instead. Soon it was gone,
as was the water. She sat back in the chair and placed her hand over
her now full stomach. That motion led to a slew of dark thoughts which
seemed to swirl about her mind. She found the urge to find a drink
grow strong as the darkness seemed to claw at her.

U'kaiah emerged from the bed chamber with a basket full of clothes stuck
on top of one filled with her bed sheets and pillow cases. "You're not
sleeping in that bed again until we can get new linens on them. If you
need to take a nap, do it on the couch. I'll get fresh sheets from the
laundry."

She shrugged. Couch. Bed. No matter. "Guess you wouldn't get me a
drink while you were there," she grumbled under her breath, noting
that everything seemed to be gone. She didn't _want_ to face reality
and had been hiding behind her antics of late rather than dealing with
the emotions of her mind and body.

"Why are you in my weyr again anyway?" She called after him.

U'kaiah set down the baskets so he could pull back the curtain and set
them out on the ledge next to Kalamath. It had been Turns since he had
been a weyrling on elevator duty, but he certainly would not be carrying
all these things down the stairs! "Because drills have ended and my
Wingthird was noticeably absent. And now I know why."

"Drills ended?" She asked, her eyes opening wide. She'd missed her
duty? Even with all _this_ going on, she had managed to maintain her
duties as Wingthird and rider. It had been the one thing that made her
days normal and routine. "I missed them?" She asked, her voice low,
almost in shock. "Shard it," she muttered, dropping her head into her
hands and then groaning when it increased the ache in her head.

"Quite a while ago." He grabbed up the first basket of empty bottles
and deposited it next to the others, but paused when he walked back
through the curtain. U'kaiah walked back into the restroom and wet down
another towel to press onto the back of her neck. She obviously was not
feeling well yet. "Do you need to throw up again?"

She accepted the towel with a grateful grunt. Kenza took a few deep
breaths, hoping it would calm the pounding in her head.

"I think I'm alright," she finally replied, lifting her head back up.
She reached a hand up and caught U'kaiah's wrist. "Thank you." Her
eyes held his for a moment. The sadness she'd felt for so many months
was there, in her eyes. She'd felt alone. No one had known what she
was going through. She'd not talked to anyone. She felt as though
she'd distanced herself more from everyone around her, even though
she'd opened her bedroom up to more men than she had in ages. That
didn't matter. She hadn't been _close_ to any of them.

The anguish in her eyes nearly broke is heart. He didn't know what was
going on, but he loved Kenza like family. What hurt her hurt him as
well. He knelt down in front of her and offered her a place in his
arms.

She may not have accepted the gesture in the past with ease, but right
now, feeling so alone and vulnerable, Kenza needed the contact. Her
breathing actually shook as though on the verge of tears. She was
strong and confident, yet she felt weak and broken right now. She
couldn't figure out how to put herself back together again.

"I'm sorry," she said, **for all of it.**

He pulled her into his embrace, at first a little awkwardly. After all,
he had never been in the position of comforting _her_ before! But then,
as feeling for her and for all she had been to him over the Turns
overwhelmed him, he enfolded her with ease. "It's all right, Kenza.
We'll fix this. Everything will be ok."

She allowed him to hold her. She soaked in the comfort. She wasn't
going to cry but she did let forth a small sniffle.

"I'm not sure how to fix this U'kaiah. I've made a mess of my life,
and I can't get in control again."

"I won't let anything happen to you now," he said with conviction,
rubbing her back. "You've fallen a little, but we'll catch you."
U'kaiah knew this would be beyond just having a friend listen to her
troubles. She would need to see a mindhealer, and he would make sure
that she would get the help she needed. He didn't know what had caused
this, but truly it didn't matter as long as they fixed it.

"Thank you," she stated quietly, "I don't think I knew how to stop it
anymore. The memories and feelings just seem to come at me over and
over again." She sighed. "I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused
these last months."

"It's all right," he assured her. Faranth's Egg, but he had been enough
trouble himself, and Kenza had always been there to pull him back. It
was just his turn. Leaning back, he took her face gently in his hands.
"Kenza, I am relieving you of duty until a mindhealer clears you. Do
you understand?"

She growled at that and tried to pull away from him. Regardless of the
fact that he world inside may have been falling apart, her work had
been her one true anchor.

She wanted to argue, to rail at him, but she _knew_ he was right.

"Do you swear by the egg that it will still be my spot when I return?"
She pressed. She'd worked too hard to lose her rank in the wing now.

"By Farant's and my own Kalamath's both," he assured her. "As long as
you make progress to recovering, there's no reason to replace you. No
one would be a better third than you, Kenza."

Last updated on the September 3rd 2013

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Her Darkest Time (Part 2 of 2)