Not Important Enough

Writers: Ames, Devin
Date Posted: 4th May 2013

Characters: N'vanik, Kenza
Description: N'vanik and Kenza chat and share their troubles.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 14 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned: Rhosyn, K'ale, K'sedel, Cyradis

N'vanik

N'vanik had Loseth check with Solith first, so he knew she was in.
Loseth landed on her ledge, rumbling a greeting to the green.

}:Loseth and his have arrived.:{ Solith informed Kenza. Standing she
walked to greet the Weyrleader and friend.

"Well fancy seeing you. Been too busy to visit with an old friend?"
She asked, her tone light and teasing as she leaned against the wall
watching him approach.

"You could visit me, too you know." He stripped off his riding jacket.

She chuckled, "Aye, I could, been a bit busy, as I know you have as
well. I _am_ glad you are here. Come in, get comfortable. Ale, Klah,
wine?" Kenza asked as she turned and headed back to the main sitting
area of her weyr.

"Wine, thanks." He followed her in and settled into a chair. "I heard
about K'ale catching a gold. Good for him." Even if all people wanted
to talk about was how small the clutch was.

"Yes, it was good for him," Kenza replied, glad that _someone_ was
willing to acknowledge that before tearing into the size of the
clutch. She knew that the clutch size was a major issue for the Weyr,
but it was still a worthy accomplishment for her son.

"Most people aren't too pleased, however," she added, handing him some
wine while she took a sip for the ale she had on hand.

"They aren't taking it out on him, are they?" He took a drink from the
offered glass.

"No, not that I'm aware of, but the feeling in the Weyr has been one
of anxiety compared to that with other Clutches. It's frustrating for
everyone, and I feel that doubly so. Small clutch, but yet, I'm proud
of K'ale and what he accomplished." Kenza sighed. "Anyway, enough
about that for now. How are things for you?"

"Good. We've got a good new crop of weyrlings, including Lord
Corowal's son, in case you haven't heard _that_ bit of news." Weyrfolk
loved their gossip, and all the better when such a wild story was
true.

She lifted one eyebrow at that. "I _had_ heard something to that
accord, but wasn't sure how much of it to believe. That is _very_
interesting, as the Lord Holders seldom let their sons anywhere near
the Weyr. Got to keep the bloodlines together or so they say." She
shrugged at that one. "I _also_ heard an interesting bit of news about
you making a bit of a scene at River Bluff over Rhosyn?" She gave him
a teasing look at that. She enjoyed the banter with N'vanik and knew
that she could speak freely as they had been friends for far too long
to let anything get between them.

His expression darkened and he looked away. "Apparently I'm just
important enough for her to tell me that something's wrong, but not
important enough to tell me what it is." Part of him didn't want to
talk about it, but another part _did_. And he wasn't comfortable
talking to Tal about it.

She sensed his mood. She knew this was bothering him. Pressing a bit
to see if he wanted to discuss it further or not, Kenza asked, "What
do you mean? I heard something was wrong with her, but she won't talk
to you? After all that you two have been through together?"

He looked up with a glare. Not at her, but at the situation. "She had
an apprentice healer guarding her door, trying to put me off with
vague assurances. And when I tried to go in and get answers from
Rhosyn herself, she made her sharding _queen_ block the way. I'm
supposed to think it's nothing and I shouldn't worry after _that_?"

Kenza frowned, her brows furrowing together as she thought. "So, you
still don't know what's wrong with her? I'm surprised she's not taking
visitors, to be honest, unless there's a reason for it." She
remembered her own stint in the infirmary after her injuries. She
didn't want people to see her for some time and didn't like visitors
for that reason. That thought made her wonder. "Could something have
happened that would alter her appearance? It wasn't Threadfall, since
it was after her Flight, but I remember how I felt after my scoring.
It was hard to have people look at me without feeling worse about
myself." Kenza shrugged, she'd gotten over that quickly enough, but it
had been hard at first.

"I found out from K'sedel. At least _he_ respected me enough to give a
straight answer." N'vanik debated telling her what it was, since
Rhosyn clearly didn't want anyone to know. Well, scorch it. Why should
he respect her privacy when she treated him like that? "It's
sunscorching. He thinks she was too _embarrassed_ to tell me. So she
played games and let me worry because she's _embarrassed_." He knocked
back half his drink.

Kenza snorted, nearly spitting up her own beer at his revelation.
"Sunscorching? You're joking with me N'vanik?" She was sure he was
teasing at first, but when she realized he wasn't, her face became
more serious. "So, she has the Weyr beside themselves with worry over
_sunscorching_? Really?" Kenza was angry for her friend and felt that
it was childish of the Weyrwoman to be hiding such a simple thing,
causing such havoc among her Weyr. "Well, um...hmmm...." she bit her
lips to keep from laughing at the whole debacle. She tried, she
_really_ did, but finally she had to give in. Kenza started chuckling
and muttering, "sunscorching."

"I wish I could laugh. It's stupid. But what does that say about what
she thinks of me?" He clenched his fist, hating feeling so vulnerable.
"Just like Traelyn. 'Oh I'm fine, sure don't worry about me.' And she
waves me off like I don't matter."

"Oh, N'vanik," Kenza intoned as she moved over to him, placing a hand
on his shoulder. "Who are they to dictate how _you_ should feel?
_You're_ a bronzerider, Weyrleader, and wingleader. You've led
countless fights against Thread and maintained Dolphin Cove under some
rather difficult circumstances. It's hard and shardit they shouldn't
treat you like that, but you _can't_ control them. What you can
control is what they do to _you_! If she thinks so little of you, then
why do you bend over backwards for her? One of the things I've always
liked about you is that you care, but sometimes that caring leads you
to worry so much about others you forget about yourself."

He closed his eyes for a moment. "I know. I deserve better." Even
though a little voice whispered that he didn't. "I _have_ better."

"Yes, and yes," she replied. She wasn't sure if he'd truly take those
words to heart, but at least she hoped he may be thinking on them
more. He was a strong, proud man who shouldn't be forced to quiver at
_any_ woman's side unless it was for someone he loved. Did he love
Rhosyn? She didn't know, and she wasn't going to ask. Kenza's
relationships weren't much better. At least he _did_ have Talryne. She
didn't even have that to say about her own life. Honestly, though,
most days it didn't bother her in the slightest.

"Thank Faranth Cyradis has a weyrmate. I couldn't handle another
goldrider playing games with me." He set his empty wine glass on the
table. "I swore off goldriders a long time ago, but Traelyn sucked me
in now I can't seem to stop. She abandoned me, and then Janani
abandoned me, and part of me is still waiting for Cyradis to abandon
me too."

Kenza understood that. It had definitely been rough at Dolphin Cove in
recent Turns, but now things seemed to have settled. "While I haven't
formally met Cyradis myself," she started, "something tells me she's
not the type to leave. She seems to have planted her own roots and is
settling in for the long haul." Kenza shrugged, "I could be wrong, but
you can't live your life waiting for what may or may not happen with
her."

"I might relax after she's been here more than a turn." Janani had
lasted only a few months.

"Aye, there is truth to that as well," Kenza agreed. "I do hope she
stays. The stability will do great things for your Weyr."

"Yeah. We've had more than enough of fickle goldriders." He never
would have believed that _he_ would be a stable point of leadership
for a Weyr.

"So true," Kenza nodded. "Here let me fill your cup again." Taking his
cup, she refilled it with wine. Then took her own seat once more.

He took a sip. "So enough of my problems. How are you?"

"I'm alright," she replied. Nothing had transpired in recent days and
she had recovered from the loss many months ago of the babe. She knew
N'vanik knew of that story, at least in part, as she'd been forced to
recuperate for a short time.

"Life moves on. We fight Thread. We drill. It seems I need to find
myself some new diversion as I've gotten stuck into the routine of
each day of late," Kenza frowned at that. She wasn't really excited by
much lately. She was feeling rather alone since the loss of the unborn
babe. It appeared she needed to find something to give her a new
drive, a new ambition. She wasn't sure what that something might be.

"You need a handsome young thing to keep you entertained," N'vanik
said with a smile. He knew there was more behind her words, but he
wanted to cheer her up. "Unless you've scared them all off."

She snorted a bit at that, but couldn't help and allow the corners of
her mouth to raise at his suggestion. "Not _all_ of them, yet anyway."
She enjoyed the banter between them, and found that his suggestion
wasn't all that off base. Perhaps what she _did_ need was to find some
new companionship to brighten her mood, or even just a happy fling
here and there.

"Then go grab one and have yourself a good time." Once again he was
thankful to have Tal in his life, and he wanted Kenza to have someone
like that, too. But until she found love, she could at least have fun.

She chuckled a bit at that and sipped her drink, "I'll keep that
advice in mind. I wouldn't mind a little fun. Things have gotten far
to serious of late, and it's time to remind myself of exactly who I am
and that I _do_ know how to have a good time." Her thoughts were
already whirling. Many of the riders had steered clear of her of late
as she'd been rather brooding at times. Well, no more. Kenza was still
Kenza, but she was going to go and find herself some fun.

N'vanik grinned. "That's the spirit."

Last updated on the June 17th 2013

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Not Important Enough