Experience

Writers: AL, Eimi
Date Posted: 19th June 2011

Characters: Cardella, J'nev
Description: Cardella has a talk with J'nev about experience...
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 7 of Turn 6

Cardella

She was more than happy to simply sit with him and enjoy his company.
Time would come soon when they could once again consider other things,
but that time was not quite there yet. She tilted her head and smiled
up at him. "I'm glad you were free tonight and I was done with all my
duties as well." Cardella reached a hand up to lay it gently on his
chest.

"We were just lucky, I guess," J'nev said giving her shoulder a squeeze.
Truth be told, he was just trying to stay awake. It was a little
boring wanting to be "close" but knowing nothing would come of it.

"I think I'm the lucky one," she said quietly, "Lucky that you found
me in the dining caverns." Cardella had worried for some time that she
had given herself to him to soon, which had led to her worries and
many of the arguments they'd experienced during her early
weyrlinghood.

"You know, I'll soon be a senior weyrling," she stated quietly,
knowing _exactly_ what it would mean for them.

"I do know. I'm counting the days," he assured her, leaning his head
against hers. Seriously, it couldn't come fast enough. Paying her all
this attention without getting a little back in return was starting to
get frustrating! Especially since he had never been one of _those_
bronzeriders who just jumped the first girl willing to spread her legs.

"J'nev," she said a bit quietly, meeting his gaze with her own, "Can I
ask you something?" Cardella was a bit hesitant and uncertain, but she
knew she needed to have this talk with him, no matter how difficult it
might be.

"Of course. Anything." Though that kind of question always put him on
guard a bit.

She chewed on her bottom lip a bit. The room grew silent as she
mustered up her courage to talk to him about what was on her mind.
"Why do you think people recommend that greenriders get experience
with more than one man?" She asked. Her heart was thudding in her
chest near to exploding as she asked this question. She never really
_liked_ the idea, but _everyone_ seemed to keep telling her that this
was what she needed to do. "I just don't understand." She lowered her
gaze from his, uncertain of what he might say in response to her
question.

"Why?" he asked with a snort. "Because they want to have an excuse to
bed as many people as they can." That was the way it was in the Weyr.

She frowned a bit. "It's all anyone seems to be able to talk about
anymore. I don't want to feel pressured," Cardella sighed. "I am
nervous though. What if, I mean, when Awenth rises, what if you don't
win?" She whispered the words. It was something that had been
bothering her for quite some time. J'nev was the only one she'd ever
been with and she couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

"Then you'll wake up, thank them for the wonderful Flight, get dressed
and leave. That's what I'd do," J'nev said with a shrug, as if it were
the obvious and easy choice. He wasn't about to tell her that's not how
things happened with Aileyan the one time he had won. "I mean, what are
you going to do, sleep with every man who might possibly have the chance
to win your Flight one day?"

She shook her head vehemently. "No. I would never do that." Her
hold-bred ideals were still far too strong for her to consider anything
else. "I'd much rather be with one person." **Like you,** she thought,
even though
a flicker of other faces of people she cared about crossed her mind.
Cardella had experienced so much in such a short time that it was still
hard to figure out exactly what she wanted and was feeling. She cared
about so
many people, though she'd never given herself to anyone but him.

"Will you be angry if someone else wins her flight?" She asked. Cardella
had been worried about just such a thing for quite some time.

"You can't control who will win. It's up to the dragons to decide. I
won't be _happy_ of course." Even the thought of her having another
man's hands all over her brought a frown to his face. He had found her
first! But really, it was only a matter of time. That's probably how
Aileyan started, too.

"I wouldn't be happy either," she replied, resting her head against
him as she snuggled. "I hear that rider preference can play a part. If
that's true then I know _exactly_ whom Awenth would choose," she
snaked her arm around his waist even as she remained cuddled up
against his side. "You've been so wonderful to me, J'nev." She looked
up and smiled. She knew she'd jumped to conclusions too quickly before
her Impression when she'd used the word love, but since they'd made up
from their arguments, Cardella was beginning to think that what she
was feeling could _really_ be love after all.

And there was that old painful, guilty feeling in the pit of his
stomach. Sometimes he felt so justified to want to prove everyone wrong
and himself right. But other times, like now, as he wrapped his arm
around her shoulder and pulled her close again, he felt like such a
heel. What if she wasn't just saying it? What if she really did think
he was 'wonderful'? "I want to win to," he said softly. "And I don't
think you need any more practice that what we'll get together."

"I'm so glad I have you," she whispered, tilting her head to kiss him
gently, knowing even that could lead to trouble. And one thing she
didn't want to have happen was anything that would delay her
graduation to senior weyrling status. She rested her head against his
chest again with a happy sigh. "I still can't believe how lucky I
truly am."

"Me too," he whispered, surprised at how his lips still tingled at the
touch of her lips, no matter how soft. Part of him feared that even
that had been too much. Another part was sure that it was not enough.
He had to take a deep breath to steady himself.

She stayed in his arms for some time after that, before finally
looking up with a sigh. "I should probably get back before curfew.
Don't want to do anything to get myself in trouble now." Though she
wished she could stay with him tonight, she knew that was not
possible. At least not yet. She was close now. Soon the restrictions
would lift and she could pursue her own life again, wherever that may
lead.

Last updated on the June 20th 2011

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Experience