What's Best for Awenth

Writers: Ames, Len
Date Posted: 29th April 2011

Characters: S'vin, Cardella, T'bel, G'wen
Description: S'vin decides Cardella and G'wen need a pep talk, until T'bel comes to Cardella's aid
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 1 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: J'nev, F'neb

Cardella

"Okay ladies, gather around," S'vin said, with a silly grin.

G'wen gave him a dirty look but sat down beside him. The taller boy
knew the little greenrider hated being called a lady or girl or
anything like that, but hey, if you were that pretty, then too bad!
G'wen was going to be the last person in the Weyr to be mistaken for a
Smith. S'vin caught the wry look T'bel gave him from his spot curled
up on the bed.

S'vin and Cardella had followed G'wen up to his father's weyr, as the
boy had wanted to pester his da for a favour and they had wanted to
see T'bel's little bronze flit. The favour granted, the father gone
and the lizard sound asleep meant S'vin had too much time to think
about something that had been worrying his two favorite greenriders
for a while now.

"You don't have to listen to him, m'dear," T'bel said to Cardella as
he glanced up from his book. "It's safer over here than over there on
the couch."

She turned and smiled towards T'bel to let him know she appreciated
the offer. "I'll stay here...for now," she added, looking back to see
what mischief S'vin was going to stir up this time. At least T'bel
would be there to reign things in if necessary. "So, what exactly are
we discussing this time?"

"Sex!"

"Too young..dragons, remember?" T'bel said from the bed.

"Oh, pfft you!" S'vin retorted, gathering in his two co-weyrlings
closer. "Forget him..this is in a month when we're all free from the
ban and ready to go! But there's the thing..neither of you are
exactly 'ready to go' are you?"

Cardella wasn't sure she _wanted_ to hear this conversation, but then
again, she didn't want S'vin or G'wen to think her afraid. She'd had
sex, but it wasn't exactly something she was comfortable talking
about. "What do you mean, we're not ready to go? I mean, obviously,
like T'bel said, we _can't_ do that, none of us, not even you." Her
brow was furrowed a bit as she tried to figure out what S'vin was
saying.

"In a month's time, girl! In a month..." He grinned at her and
reached out to ruffle her hair. "No...I've been thinking about how
you two are so scared about Flights and all that. And my conclusion
is that both of you need to see a lot more action before this all
happens, if you know what I mean."

"So you want us to be complete whores, like you?" G'wen asked. He
caught T'bel trying not to laugh into his book and scowled.

"I...I don't think I can do that," Cardella said looking a bit
crestfallen and uncertain. It had been hard enough to think about the
fact that she'd already given herself to J'nev without marriage. Yes,
the Weyr was different, but her hold-bred ideas were still very much a
part of her.

"Why not?" S'vin asked. "All you have to do is lay on your back, it's
the guy that has to do all the work."

"Now we know why everyone says what a terrible lay S'vin is, eh?"
G'wen nudged Cardella and made a face at the taller boy. "All you do
is 'lay there'? You lazy git!"

"It's not _that_," she whispered, utterly mortified that they were
having this conversation, "It's just that laying...like _that_... with
someone is supposed to be special, not just anyone." She had a hard
enough time being in the bathing chambers with other people, how could
S'vin think she would find it easy to take off her clothes for just
anyone?

"Girl, you'd better get out of_that_mindframe or you're gonna be in
some real trouble in a few months time! What, you think J'nev's
bronze is going to catch Awenth?" S'vin snorted at her.

>From across the room, T'bel patted the bed next to him for Cardella,
if she needed to retreat. He also pointed to S'vin and told his
sleeping flit, "Swift, kill."

She _was_ feeling rather uncomfortable at the moment. She knew what
S'vin meant, but that didn't make things any easier for her. He simply
didn't understand her or how hard all of this was for her. They'd
grown up around this, to her it felt almost like she was betraying her
parents and her family.

She looked towards T'bel when he spoke out, noting his motion to her.
Her expression showed that she was torn. She wanted to go, but didn't
want to have to listen to the boys tease her. They had no idea how
much it hurt her, for she tried so often to hide it behind a laugh or
a forced smiled.

Seeing the hurt look Cardella threw T'bel, G'wen punched S'vin in the arm.

"Owww! That hurt!"

"Hey Car, looks like all that weight training_is_paying off!" G'wen
sat back, looking smug.

She gave G'wen a small smile, still rather uncomfortable by the whole
encounter. "I don't think either of you really understands how
difficult this is for me," she stated quietly.

"Well, rather than us suffer through this dimglow telling us what he thinks
we should be doing, why don't you enlighten us on what it's like being you."
G'wen leaned against her and put his head on her shoulder, hoping she
didn't take offense to his words. He knew she struggled with how the
Weyr was, regarding sex, but had no idea just how hard it was on her.

At first she'd thought he was calling her a dimglow. In that moment
she'd felt a burst of anger and utter despair at the exact same
instant. When she realized he was _not_ referring to her, she visibly
relaxed some.

"I'm not sure I can explain it well to those who haven't lived it, but
I'll try," she took a breath and started, "from the moment I can
remember, I've always been taught how special the bond between and man
and a woman should be. The worst possibly thing someone like me could
do was to have relations out of marriage." She paused, frowning
slightly, "which I've already done," she felt that wave of
disappointment wash over her at that thought.

"I've let down my parents. Everything they taught me about marriage,
families, children and in a round about way, sex, none of it seems the
same here. It's like I've been asked to learn to live on the Red Star.
I feel lost and confused. For turns I've been told one thing and now
in the matter of months, I feel like I'm being pushed to accept and
change and be someone I could never have imagined. I don't know if I
should be disappointed in myself or pleased that I've been able to
make some changes. Normally I feel both. All those fun, exciting
moments you two," she looked at them, "seem to be able to take so
slightly, always come with a wall of sorrow for me as well. The entire
life I knew, seems to be gone." She clasped her hands in her lap, her
head bowing down as she felt that wave of disappointment churning
through her once again.

"Budge over S'vin." T'bel stood in front of the weyrlings. As the
tall boy moved to one side, the greenrider dumped the still sleeping
bronze flit in the girl's lap and sat beside her. He drew her up with
an arm around her shoulders, and said, "sweetie, I know what you're
going through. I was in the same boat as, like you, I was
Holder-bred. And I hung and hung on to my Holder morals until it was
too late, and Fanth was Rising and I hadn't been with anyone yet.
Let's just say that my first time didn't go well. And, to be honest,
it made sure I didn't really enjoy the experience of Flight at all.
Even now I don't, really."

He looked down at the sleeping fire lizard and softly stroked the
girl's hair. "I'm going to be very honest with you. You may be
Holder bred but you impressed a green dragon and you need to do what's
best for her. And in doing so, you need to protect yourself. And
part of protecting yourself is getting--or trying to get--over these
feelings that sex is something that only happens between two married
people. I know it's hard--trust me, I_know_--but unless you want to
end up in the same boat as me, you may need to take the advice of this
slut over here."

He grinned at the protesting S'vin. "And you," he added. "You take
care of these two."

She felt comforted by his words. T'bel understood, better than either
of the other two ever could. She listened taking his words to heart.
It was not going to be easy, but she would _have_ to try. Looking up
at him, she asked, "_How_ do I just move on? I don't know _how_ to do
it." This time she did glance towards the other two boys. There was no
way she could ask them...that would just be...**ewww,** she thought.
They were like her brothers in so many ways.

"I have J'nev," she stated quietly, "once we're free to interact again."

"No,_not_J'nev," the older greerider said. "S'vin's right about one
thing, you two both need more experience and not with the same partner.
I think, in time, G'wen, that it'll be a good thing that F'neb's now
got a new partner. I know it hurts now_but_you need--you both
need--to be with someone who's not the same person you've been with."
He reached over and ruffled the boy's hair. " And I think you both
need someone who's not a little boy. If you want, Cardella, I can ask
around and find you a willing partner...and don't be embarrassed, this
is a common thing to do."

She knew that what he said was true, but she was having a hard time
thinking of just allowing herself to sleep with anyone, rather than
just one person. In her mind, J'nev was her _one_ man. Wouldn't it be
wrong to sleep with other people at the same time? It was all so
confusing and difficult for Cardella to think on.

"I..I don't know," she finally replied to T'bel's offer. "Let me think
about it some more." She knew he would do anything in her power to
help, but was she really ready for what he was offering to help her
find?

Last updated on the April 29th 2011

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What's Best for Awenth