You Will Be Alright

Writers: Suzee, Ames
Date Posted: 21st February 2011

Characters: K'ale, Cardella
Description: Cardella finds solace in a friend after a rather upsetting encounter
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 17 of Turn 5
Notes: Follows "Is This the End" and "I Can't Promise Anything"

Mentioned: J'nev

K'ale

Cardella

She darted into the weyrling barracks without a second glance around
her. She had to find Awenth. Nothing else mattered. Awenth needed her
and she could forget about J'nev and his twisted words if only she had
Awenth by her side.

}:Mine! You are upset! What is wrong?:{ The worried voice of her
sleepy dragon reached out to her.

**I'm coming Awenth. Everything will be okay,** she projected even as
she tried to wipe the tears that wouldn't stop falling from her eyes.
And _that_ was when she ran directly into someone else.

K'ale 'ooof'ed' from the impact but his arms automatically wrapped
around her "Cardella?" he said trying to peer into her face. "What's
wrong?"

"Nothing," she sniffled, keeping her head buried when she recognized
the voice. "Awenth needs me." The rather concerned green had moved off
her sleeping spot and waddled her way towards Cardella. Standing just
behind K'ale Awenth was crooning a soothing sound to her lifemate.

}:Imalkyth's is good for you. Let his help you.:{ Awenth spoke to her
rider even as she tried to nudge her head around K'ale. The green knew
that Cardella was normally happy when she was around the brown's rider
and right now all she wanted was for her rider to not be in such
distress.

Cardella sucked in a great gasp of air and she gave a little hiccup
from her crying. Cardella was amazed all the time at the bond she
shared with her green. She knew Awenth was agitated by her own
feelings and while Cardella only sought to soothe her, Awenth was wise
enough to know that Cardella needed human friendship as well.

Feeling the green trying to insert herself K'ale loosened his grip and
backed a step. "Remember your lessons Cardella, soothing thoughts.
Calm down and then separate whatever is bothering you like into a
different room in your head... then slowly close the door." He was
trying to help her block her hurt from her lifemate so Awenth wouldn't
be distressed. "Then we can talk...ok?"

Cardella looked up at K'ale, reaching the back of her hand to swipe
her tears from her face. Taking a deep breath, she tried to focus on
sending Awenth soothing thoughts, even while trying to close part of
her mind to her lifemate.

**I'm alright, Awenth.** Cardella sent repeatedly to her green,
instinctually kneeling down to cup Awenth's face. Cardella pressed her
own face against her dragon's. **'m sorry I upset you. I'm alright.**

Cardella could feel Awenth begin to calm even as she pressed her
emotions further and further from her dragon. }:I love you, mine.:{
Awenth sent as she pressed her head against Cardella. It took some
time, but Cardella finally managed to calm her own thoughts and
emotions and calm Awenth as well. The bright green dragon's eyes
drooped a bit as her rest had been interrupted. Cardella led her green
back to her bed and stayed with her until she felt Awenth slip into
sleep once more.

She had no idea how much time had passed, and if K'ale was even still
waiting, for she had been so focused on Awenth. She rose and turned.

They both calmed as he watched and he realize with just a little
pride, he'd just done a brown rider thing. He sent a flow of pride to
his sleepy lifemate and felt the love and pride flow back in return.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

She shrugged, looking up at him with a rather sad, lost look in her
eyes. Cardella swallowed with a bit of effort as she tried not to cry
again. She couldn't wake Awenth, not again. "I'm afraid I'll upset
Awenth again," she glanced back over her shoulder, and when she looked
back at K'ale her lower lip trembled a bit.

He moved closer and pulled her toward her bed. "Sit" he said and
crouched in front of her. "If you can't talk to me I could get G'wen,
or someone else."

She grabbed his arm to keep him from leaving. "We're just as close
friends as G'wen and I." Cardella looked over to Awenth and seeing the
dragon breathing steadily, she looked back to K'ale with a frown. "I
just...well," her lower lip trembled as she recalled what had just
transpired. "It's J'nev." She finally mumbled, clasping her hands
together in her lap and looking down at them to hide her emotions,
which she wasn't do such a good job at.

Just the hurt in her eyes prevented him from telling her who had just
accosted him outside the barracks. He'd already heard J'nev's side of
the story. "Alright, why don't you tell me what happened?"

She swallowed with difficulty, telling herself she wouldn't cry again.
"I'm a fool, K'ale. I've heard people talk and I ignored it all, but
now....I truly thought he would _love_ me. I wanted him to _love_ me.
I even convinced myself I loved him, but something changed this past
sevenday and I couldn't hold back. I hadn't meant to confront him, but
I did and he said..." she sniffled, "that I deceived him, that.." she
stopped and stared down at her hands. "I think it's over now, between
us." Cardella didn't know how she felt about that. She had made
herself believe she'd loved him, had given herself to him willingly.
**Maybe it _was_ me all along. I'm not better than a worthless
whore.**

He was concerned about her, about her feelings and he wasn't about to
take someone else's side but he had to know how she really felt. He
crouched down a bit closer. "You know how people are, they're jealous
if you have something they don't. Who have you been talking to?"

Cardella felt almost cold inside. She didn't know who she was anymore.
So much had happened, so much had changed in such a short time.

She looked up at K'ale with an almost empty look in her eyes. "T'bel,
G'wen, Aileyan," she named and added a few others from around the
Weyr. "Did he use me? Did I let him?" She implored K'ale to answer, to
help ease the burning ache she felt inside herself.

"Oh Cardella," he sighed, then sat down next to her with his arm
around her shoulders. J'nev had done a great acting job outside the
barracks, he saw that now. Green rider after green rider had warned
her against the young bronze rider. D'ale had even warned K'ale about
the entitlements some bronze boys seemed to think they were due from
anyone anywhere. But he'd sounded so sincere.

"I don't know" he said honestly. "But somehow it wouldn't surprise me.
He can be very convincing." He couldn't bring himself to tell her how
he knew that. "Cardella, the weyr is a different world than the hold.
Some people just don't really understand that when they're just
beginning their lives here. It can lead to misunderstandings and
hurtful things. Don't let this change who you are." He took his arm
from around her shoulders and took her hand. "You are a good person.
Don't let him or anyone make you thing different."

Her lower lip trembled as he spoke and she couldn't stop the tears
that leaked out. "I'm not better than Saviah. She was a girl back at
my father's hold who seemed to find herself the butt of all the jokes.
Everyone knew that she'd shared herself with others, and now I'm no
better than she was. I _wanted_ to find out. No one had ever offered
me something like that before." She sniffled and drew in a shaky
breath. "I was never the pretty one. Most of the boys just ignored me
and then, J'nev came along and I thought I was special somehow, but I
was just another girl he could have." A small sob escaped her.
Blissfully Awenth, though agitated in her sleep, seemed to not awaken
this time.

"Listen, that was the hold, this is the weyr. No one weyr raised will
think of you like that. Do you understand? It's a fact of life that at
some point in the future. Awenth will rise, and when she does it will
be out of your control who she choses." Thankfully both their
lifemates were asleep because this topic would be very bad right now.
Somehow he had to help her wrap her head around that.

She was still hurt and confused by everything that happened. "I find
it hard to shake the thoughts of being Hold-bred sometimes, K'ale. I
don't understand all of this. How do I live with myself? I love
Awenth, and I would never refuse her anything, but can I live with the
consequences?" She looked to him with such doubt and uncertainty in
her eyes. She covered her face with her hands. "I'm so confused,
K'ale."

He put his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed. "The bottom line
is this. You decide who you are deeply friendly with except when
Awenth rises. We all know this." Then he figured he'd hit her with his
own problem. "You see, I have the same problem."

She probably hadn't thought it through at all. "You do realize that at
some point Imalkyth will chase Awenth? Or even Neath?" he stopped a
moment to hopefully let that sink in a little. "I will have no more
choice than you."

Cardella lifted her eyes and looked at her dear friend, for the first
time realizing that he, too, would have to deal with changes. She
blinked and found herself leaning into his shoulder. "If it had to be
someone, I'd almost rather it be you than someone I hardly know.
You're one of my best friends K'ale." She sniffled. "Thank you for
being here. I may not know what I'm going to do now, but I do feel a
bit better now."

He pulled her close and kissed her forehead. She was stronger than she
realized. "You'll be fine Cardella," he whispered.

Cardella found herself drawing strength from him. She would be alright, she told herself, especially with friends like K'ale at her side.

Last updated on the March 21st 2012

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You Will Be Alright