Fly Safe (2/2)

Writers: Eimi
Date Posted: 11th February 2011

Characters: U'kaiah, B'ram
Description: B'ram tells U'kaiah the truth behind the rumors
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 8 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentions: Traelyn

Notes: Part 2 of 2

B'ram

B'ram pushed those painful memories aside and continued.

"So I had Girifith find out where Nyith went with her,
and we followed them one day. She went to a beach in a pretty little
cove. It was beautiful and warm, just the spot you would imagine two
lovers stealing off to. I didn't want her to know I was there. We
landed further down the beach where she couldn't see through the trees.
I hid among the ferns, but I could see her clearly, and it looked like
she was just waiting for you
to arrive. But no one came, and Trae just sat there looking out over
the water. She didn't look around at all, not down the beach or up into
the sky like you would do if you were waiting for someone to come. All
she did was sit and stare for candlemarks. And then she stood up,
walked over to Nyith, lifted off and was gone. That was it. She had
told the truth, but why would she do that? Why would she just sit and
stare at nothing?

"Anyway, yesterday I followed her again, and again, she just sat and
stared at
nothing. It wasn't natural. I there was something wrong, but I didn't
know what to do. So this time I confronted her, coming out from behind
the trees and demanding to know what was going on, why she didn't tell
me where she went to, and why she just sat there day after day doing
_nothing_. She deflated in front of me, looking down at the ground
and just saying 'I'm sorry'." B'ram should have known right then it was
serious. Trae had always been a proud woman, and never uttered those
words easily. "I told her she was acting crazy, making me worried,
making me think she was running off with someone. I was angry, and I
was scared. I had never seen Trae look so weak. She was always up for
a fight with me, but she just stood there like a little girl, small and
contrite. But her eyes were almost lifeless, like the spark had gone
out of them. So I pushed her, bringing up so many things about the
past. Faranth forgive me, I pushed every button I could think of, just
trying to get some kind of reaction out of her. I had to see some
_life_ in her. But there was nothing." Shards, how he regretted that
now. He shouldn't have said all those things to her. B'ram hadn't
known she was teetering on the edge. If he had, he would have done
anything to pull her back. But in the end, he was sure he had
unwittingly pushed her over it.

"I told her to get back on Nyith and we would go home. My lifemate came
and I gave the signal to launch, and then the signal to go /between/.
Girifith and I popped in over Dolphin Cove. Trae and Nyith did not. I
looked all over the sky, wondering if she had come in a little further
in, but not a flicker of gold anywhere. I asked Girifith where they
were, and he say they were nowhere. I suddenly felt this deep, painful
knot of fear in my gut. I half expected to hear the keening of the
dragons. Just when I was about to panic, she appeared not far off. We
landed on her ledge and I followed her inside, demanding to know what
had happened, where she had gone. She wouldn't look at me, just walked
straight back to her room and slammed the door. And I just knew.

"I ran into the hall and found the first person passing and ordered
them to get Pacham down to the Weyrwoman at once. It didn't take long.
A summons to the Weyrwoman takes precedence over all else. I
told him exactly what happened and what I suspected. He went straight
in, and I could hear them talking for quite a while. When he finally
came out, he shut the door carefully and said he'd be right back. He
told me not to go in, but not to let her out, either. The Weyrhealer
returned with a mindhealer. The woman went in, but Pacham stayed out to
talk to me. He told me she would be taken care of and that I should go
back to my own weyr to wait for word. I protested, but he insisted,
saying there was nothing more I could do now."

It had been hard to leave her like that, especially with guilt gnawing
at him for all he had said to her. But B'ram had in the end obeyed. He
had no choice. "I waited on my ledge, just sitting with my lifemate and
staring down at where Nyith sat. I don't know how long I sat there. It
felt like candlemarks, but I'm sure it wasn't more than one. I heard
the watch dragon bugle a welcome, and then two dragons return the call.
You can't mistake the call of a queen, let alone two. You could tell
they were old, but they were still strong and beautiful, the pair of
them set against a blue sky. I knew they had come to help Trae. I
thought they
were just coming to talk. But then they lifted off with Nyith and Trae
between them. And they were... gone."

B'ram would never forget that image of Trae, sitting on Nyith's neck,
flying up into the sky in formation - three massive, golden beasts
flying high into the sky with their riders astride them. She looked so
small.

"I ran down to her Weyr to find out what was happening. Pacham was
still there with the mindhealer, talking. I demanded answers. Where
had they gone? Why hadn't anyone come to get me? Pacham told me that
in the end Trae didn't want to see anyone, not even me. She had
confessed to Pacham that she had intended to take Nyith /between/. He
couldn't tell me why. It's a healer's secret I guess. But he said she
was going to a special Mindhealer's Hall, one especially for
dragonriders. They can help Trae, and there are golds there that can
control Nyith. It's for both of their protection. She's sick, and she
will need time to heal. No one is allowed to see her until she's ready.
I begged him to let me go, but he said that when she's ready, she'll
find me." Though B'ram wondered if that day would ever come. After all
the terrible, hurtful things they had said and done to each other over
the last two Turns, would she ever want to see him again? She had left
Far Island to get away from her toxic past. But as far as she had run,
B'ram brought the poison right to her and on many an occasion took
delight in driving it straight into her heart. He didn't deserve to be
found.

U'kaiah had listened quietly to the brownrider's account. It was hard
to hear. All this time he had no idea what she had been going through.
How may mornings had he woken up with her name on his lips? For sure
not a day had gone by when he hadn't at some point been reminded of her.
He thought of her so often, missing her like he would a part of himself.
But his solace was always that she was was happy wherever she was.
How wrong he had been. If he had known he could have been there for
her, but _he_ had ended it. It had been his choice. Oh the deep regret
that would fill him each time he thought of her now. It was his
punishment, and no less than he deserved. "What happens now?" he asked
softly.

"I don't know. But for sure, Traelyn is no longer Weyrwoman at Dolphin
Cove." It was painful to say. In B'ram's mind, she _was_ Dolphin Cove.

"Listen, tell me where she is. I can help her. I _know_ I can." How
many nights had he held
her while she cried? How many times had she come to him to protect her
from the darkness? And when she needed him most, he wasn't there. If
he could just hold her,
maybe it could be like it was Turns before. They had
always found healing in each other. She needed him now!
"Please, I have to find her."

"Forget it. They won'd let you near her," B'ram said, shaking his head.
He walked over to the chair where another pile of clothing lay and
grabbed the shirt off the top. "If Trae really wants you, bronzerider,
she'll
find _you_."

U'kaiah was about to protest when the brownrider thrust the shirt out to
him. "Here," B'ram said, nodding towards the tunic in his hand. "I
found this hanging in the back of her closet. It isn't mine."

The bronzerider's attention was drawn to the faded old tunic,
recognizing it immediately. Taking it with near reverence, he couldn't
help but remember the night she had demanded he give it to her with that
sultry smile and had refused to give it back. Had she really kept it
all this time? "This is mine," he said softly.

"I know." B'ram turned back to the task the bronzerider had
interrupted. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my transfer to Far Island is
effective immediately and I have to get all her stuff together before I
can start in on my own."

He was being dismissed. No more answers would be forthcoming. It was
over, and he would just have to accept that painful truth. U'kaiah
tucked the tunic gently under his arm, and turned to leave.

The brownrider paused a moment, debating with himself whether or not to
actually say the words on the tip of his tongue. It was not easy for
him to let go of the past. But there was no
reason for either to hold jealously or bitterness towards the other now.
They shared equally in this loss. "Fly safe, U'kaiah."

The bronzerider stopped, understanding the offered truce. "And you,
B'ram."

U'kaiah did not allow himself to take one final look around the rooms as
he passed through them on his way to the ledge. He didn't need to see
them with his eyes. They were burned into his memory. But he did pause
at the feet of his giant bronze, pulling the tunic out from under his
arm. Closing his eyes as he brought it close to his face, he breathed
in
the smell of her that lingered on it. He remembered B'ram's words -
"She'll find you."

**Please Trae,** he silently pleaded as he tucked the tunic carefully
into his jacket close to his heart, **find me
soon.**

Last updated on the January 28th 2012

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Fly Safe (2/2)