I think I Love you

Writers: Ames, Eimi
Date Posted: 13th November 2010

Characters: Cardella, J'nev
Description: Cardella declares her love for J'nev with words and actions
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 11 of Turn 5

Cardella

Cardella had finally found enough free-time in her candidate duties and
chores to actually try and find J'nev. She'd only caught a glimpse of
him across the bowl days ago. Nothing since then.

"Have you seen J'nev?" She asked one of the other riders who was leaving
the dining caverns. The rider shrugged and told her he hadn't seen him
around much lately. With a sigh, Cardella resigned herself to another
night without seeing or speaking to J'nev. With a frown on her face, she
started across the bowl towards the candidate barracks, wondering if
she'd _ever_ see him again at this rate.

"Yeah," the rider said pointing a thumb in the direction of the
corridor. "He just left to go back to his rooms."

"Oh, thank you," Cardella all but gushed as she changed direction and
headed towards J'nev's rooms, a place she'd come to know quite a bit
since her arrival. Standing before his door, she knocked. **Please be
here,** she thought as she twisted her hands together in front of her.
Would he still be upset with her for what happened last time? She bit
her lip as she waited and worried.

J'nev quickly opened the door. Her worries were unfounded as his lips
spread into a slow smile. "I wondered how long I would have to wait to
find you at my door. I was half afraid I had scared you off
completely!" It was only partially true, of course. He wanted her to
think about it, wanted her to worry. The more anxious she'd become, the
more grateful she'd be. **Leave them wondering and let them come
panting after _you_,** an older bronzerider had told him once, and he
had taken the advice to heart.

His response melted her resolve. Cardella all but threw herself into his
arms, needing to feel his arms around her before. "I missed you," she
whispered, as she tilted her head up in anticipation of a kiss.

"I can tell," he whispered as he leaned in to obliged her. She
certainly did seem rather... eager. He kept it short, but it definitely
spoke of what _could_ come next. "I'd say you did."

Cardella eagerly returned his kiss. She was disappointed when he broke
it off, which was evident on her face. "I wanted to come see you sooner,
but it seemed like nothing was working in our favor. When I ended up
free, I heard you were not. I want to be with you," she spoke softly.
**I even made that blasted tea Asarin reminded me about,** she grumbled
in her mind. **And it tasted awful.** She hadn't been able to recall if she
should drink it before or after such...well...things, so she'd figure she'd do
both. That was, if J'nev was even still interested in such...well...things.

"You mean, you want to see me?" he asked, cocking his head to the side
with a look of slight confusion. His expression hid glimmer of a sense
of vindication that was growing deep down. Was she really that easy?
Did he really just have to leave her alone a few days and she'd spread
her legs for him just like that?

"Of course I wanted to see you," Cardella replied breathlessly. "I like
being with you." Cardella thought about the older boys and girls she'd
seen back at her family's Hold. You could tell when two were 'together.'
She remembered seeing some walking hand-in-hand across the grounds.
Cardella figured _this_ was what it must feel like. Wanting to be with someone
from the moment she woke to the moment she went to sleep. J'nev's face was
often in her thoughts.

What was it really like to have a relationship with a boy? What was it like here in the Weyr? She _knew_ things were
different from Holdlife, but in her mind, she was expecting that if she did what J'nev
had asked of her, then he would want to always be with her. _That_ made
Cardella happy. She wanted to be with J'nev, just like her mother was
with her father. _That's_ what she dreamed of in her daydreams.

"I thought maybe I had pushed you too far." J'nev looked down at the
ground, as if he were contrite and embarrassed, though he felt neither.
Pity worked well with women. He had learned that in the Flight circle
when a woman took a loser by the hand and was more than happy to satisfy
his needs. The bronzerider had learned pretty quickly it could be used
on women other times as well. "I thought you didn't like being with me
anymore."

"I _do_ want to be with you. Very much, J'nev," Cardella gushed, and
wrapped her arms around him. Now she was worried that he would not want
to share with her the things he had tried before. The thought still sent
butterflies swirling around in her stomach, but she squelched them. She
_wanted_ to be with J'nev. "I want to _be_ with you, J'nev. I really, really do."
She swallowed a bit, hoping he'd understood her meaning. Nerves or not,
she'd made up her mind, but what if he'd changed his mind because of her
reluctance before?

"You mean that?" he asked, raising his eyes to look at her, his arms
tentatively circling her waist. "Because I think about it a lot. I
really want to be with you, too."

"Oh, yes, I do!" Cardella's hands were resting on his chest. "I want to
be with you, J'nev. I...I...I think I love you!" Tears of happiness
glistened behind her eyes as she realized that he cared about her and
wanted to be with her and she felt her heart belonged to him. And now she'd said it.
That thought that had been gnawing at her over the days she'd spent with
him. Chalk it up to innocence and her first romance, Cardella was confusing
her infatuation with love, though she believed it whole-heatedly.

She loved him? She didn't even know him, he thought as he pulled her
closer. J'nev was convinced she just wanted to satisfy carnal
curiosity. Why lie and wrap it up in pretty words just to entice him.
Like he would need the incentive to be the first to plow her fields!
His fingers slipped up to the back of her neck, and he pulled her close
for a kiss, soft at first but then hungry and demanding. If she wanted
experience, he would certainly give her one she wouldn't forget!

She was in the throes of young love, feeling it almost as though she
felt the air around her. Cardella had never felt this thrill or hint of
excitement in her life before. It was nearly breath-taking. She gave
into his demanding kiss, knowing that he would not be ready to say the
same words to her. But surely, he cared about her or he wouldn't spend
so much time with her, want to share with her the most private of all
matters. He _had_ to care, and that thought alone, spurred her onward, allowing him
to guide their interaction.

J'nev pulled back and took her hand and gently lead her towards the
sleeping chamber. Crossing the threshold, he dropped her hand and
turned the glow down low. Turning to face her he asked softly, "Are you
ready?"

Cardella could feel her heart pumping faster and it wasn't just
excitement. She nodded her head in response to his question, though her
eyes reflected the fear she felt at the unknown. "I don't know what to do,"
she mumbled so softly that if the room hadn't been deathly quiet J'nev would never
have heard her. Was she doing the right thing? She loved him, at least she
thought she did. She'd never felt this way before. Then again, no boys
had shown _this_ kind of interest in her before.

She really did look like she was completely lost and was giving herself
up entirely to his direction. It gave him a sense of power that was
even more exciting of than the thought of taking her into his bed. As
he pulled his tunic over his head, casting it carelessly to the floor
beside him, he decided to test that control. A good little Holder girl,
looking scared and almost ready to run. How desperately did she really
want this? "Take your clothes off."

She drew in a breath when he removed his shirt. He was amazing to her
eyes young eyes. She found herself simply staring at him, trying to
still her racing heart.

With almost doe-like eyes she looked to his when he spoke. She gulped.
Was she really ready for this? She looked into his eyes again and saw
the person who had shown her such compassion since her arrival. The tremors
that she felt in the pit of her stomach eased a bit as she thought back to
his kindness and how special she felt when he was with her.

Slipping out of her shoes, she found herself a step closer to him, to
the bare chest that seemed to draw her gaze. Tentatively, she reached up
a hand and placed it on his chest. Looking up at him to see if he approved
with a wobbling smile.

Taking a steadying breath, she reached up and undid the top of her
tunic. She wanted him to kiss her again. To make her forget her nerves
and doubts and uncertainty. Everytime he kissed her she felt as though the
rest of the world vanished and all that mattered was her lips pressed to his.
Her hands, trembling a bit, moved down to the waist of her shirt and pulled
it up. She prayed he wouldn't be disappointed with her.

His breath hitched as his eyes wondered over her body. He wanted to
touch her, but not yet. Not until she submitted to him and obeyed him
fully. Not until she proved herself his loyal and trusting servant.
"Take them all off."

Cardella found herself a mess of emotions. Excitement. Fear.
Embarrassment. Love. Nerves. He didn't draw her into his arms the way
she'd imagined. She had to swallow past the lump she felt in her throat. With shaking
fingers she unclasped her skirt and looking up at him with hesitation,
she let go of the material and it pooled at her feet. Cardella had the urge to
want to cover herself. She'd never stood so bare before another. Even when
bathing since her arrival, she'd found times when fewer people were in
the pools.

His nostrils flared a bit as felt a sudden rush, not so much at the
sight of her, but at the feeling of power he felt he had over her.
J'nev was in control of her, mind and body, and he found it was
intoxicating. "Turn around. Let me see you."

She couldn't hide the slightly crestfallen look, though she tried
immensely. She'd obviously had envisioned what this would be like all
wrong. In her mind, he would hold her, caress her, and make her feel so beautiful that
she could never doubt it. Yet, right now, she felt no better than a
sweet meat pie in the dining hall that a hungry diner was eyeing up. Her lip
trembled a bit, but she did as he asked. Maybe this was his way of
showing her he was interested. Cardella clung to that hope, using it to shore up her
own strength and courage. That just _had_ to be it. After she'd turned,
feeling foolish, she looked back up at him. "Kiss me again, J'nev,
please."

He smiled, feeling more than a little triumphant. Reaching up to cradle
her face, he knew it was time to reward her for doing what he had asked.
"Of course I will kiss you, Cardella. I just wanted to admire how very
beautiful you are." His hands slipped to her back as he pulled her
close, kissing her softly, but invitingly.

Her fears and anxiety seemed to melt away as she felt his lips on hers.
She returned his kiss eagerly. Her body reacted to the feel of his
pressed so closely to her own, with almost nothing between them. Her
mouth opened with a slight gasp at the sensation that tingled from her breasts
as they touched his chest. Her hands, tentatively slid around him. She was
so uncertain. Cardella knew so little, yet her mind was full of desire and
she wanted to learn. Oh, how she wanted to be with J'nev. He made her feel so
wonderful, in ways no one else ever had.

Last updated on the December 15th 2010

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I think I Love you