Doubts and Decisions (1 of 2)

Writers: Ames, Eimi
Date Posted: 23rd August 2010

Characters: Cardella, J'nev
Description: Cardella and J'nev make some progress in their relationship
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 10, day 25 of Turn 5
Notes: Part 1 of 2

Cardella

Cardella found herself waiting in the small gathering hall. She hoped
to see J'nev tonight. She hadn't seen or spoken to him in nearly a day.
At one point, she'd even considered going to his weyr and knocking on
the door, but she couldn't quite bring herself to do that yet...though
she knew that if he arrived, that's where they would end up. That's
where they had gone each time they had had the chance, when he wasn't
just stealing kisses from her in dark, shadowy corners of the Weyr.
Would he arrive tonight? She twisted her hands together while she
waited.

J'nev had been there the whole time, watching her unnoticed. He stood
behind her, studying her body language. This was all becoming a
tantalizing game to him. She had walked in, looked around. He knew she
was looking for him. Her shoulders were a little tense, like she
expected to see him, was anxious to see him, but hadn't seen him yet.
J'nev liked the anticipation. If he just presented himself, it wouldn't
build the excitement. He wanted that edge. It made her a bit more
excited to him, a bit more willing to show how happy she was to finally
find him. He had total control of the situation.

Finally he decided that she had waited enough and carefully, quietly, he
snuck up behind her. He didn't say a word, but instead wrapped his arms
around her middle and pulled her back against him as he placed a kiss
right under her ear. "Surprise!"

When she felt arms grab her, she at first stiffened. That was until she
realized whose arms they were. She whirled around and beamed a smile up
at him.

"J'nev!" She exclaimed happily. "I missed you yesterday. I'm so glad
you're here today, but I didn't see you come in," she leaned up and
kissed him on the cheek. Though she wanted to kiss him for real, she was
still quite comfortable with that idea in public.

"I'm sorry, but I can't control Threadfall." He was thinking the long
separation might be the perfect reason to push that particular boundary.
Leaning down he kissed her right on the lips very softly. "I missed
you, too."

Cardella sighed into his kiss, all but melting in his arms. She'd grown
accustomed to them since they'd first met and now she found she almost
craved them. "I missed you, too," she murmured, having totally forgotten
they were not in his private weyr.

Well, that was easy. Another lesson learned, he thought as he leaned in
for a longer, bit bolder kiss. A little separation made her much more
submissive to moving their physical relationship forward. He could take
advantage of that. "Let's go back to my weyr," he murmured softly.

Cardella drew in a quick breath when he deepened the kiss, but she
didn't pull away. Her cheeks were infused with a pink blush when she
recalled where they were. She nodded her head to indicate she agreed
with him. Then gripping his hand, she would follow him.

J'nev didn't say much as they walked back to his room. He didn't want
to break that mood. If he joked and asked her about her day, she would
forget just how much she had missed him and he wanted her to keep that
forefront in her mind. As soon as he had gently pulled her through the
door and closed it, he just as gently pushed her back against it. "I
couldn't stop thinking about you all day," he whispered as he leaned in
for a kiss that held very little back.

She gasped a bit at the intensity of the kiss, which only served to make
it more exhilarating. Tentatively, she returned some of his own actions,
trying not to hold back from this kiss. She thought for a moment that
she saw stars before her very eyes at the sensations.

When the kiss finally broke, she gasped for air and smiled up at him.
"I've thought about you as well, J'nev." **_All_ the time.** Her heart
seemed to be pounding in her chest. She recalled her conversation with
Resta and suddenly she felt her mouth go a bit dry. She still hadn't
come to any conclusions after that conversation.

"I like being with you," she murmured quietly, hoping it was the right
thing to say.

He grinned. She was indeed saying exactly what he wanted to hear.
Taking her hands he gently pulled her further into the room and closer
to the sofa. "You have no idea how much I look forward to these moments
I can just be near you."

Slowly he pulled her down to the cushions with him, one arm wrapped
around her waist as the other brushed the hair from her face. "You
really are so beautiful, Cardella."

Cardella smiled and blushed at the same time. She reached her hands up
and lightly danced her fingers over his shirt. She still got nervous and
uncertain, but he made her feel _so_ special and _so_ good, she could
forget her uncertainties. She wondered if this was what love felt like.
She'd heard people use that word, but she had no idea what it really
was.

Still a bit tentative, but a bit more daring by his words of praise, she
leaned forward and brushed her own lips against his, initiating another
kiss. "I've never felt this way before, J'nev," she whispered her face
just inches from his.

"I know what you mean," he murmured back, leaning close again, but this
time not to kiss her lips. She obviously had gotten the hang of that.
Now he wanted to push her even more, tracing soft kisses along her neck
and gently tilting her head back to give him even more access.

"Oh," she drew in a breath at the new sensation, but she didn't stop
him. Her heart seemed to pound even harder as he kissed her in this new
and exciting way. Her hands gently lay on his shoulders as she allowed
him easy access to her neck. "That feels....nice," she breathed.

**Yes,** he thought, a rush of triumph just adding to the heat running
through his veins at that moment. **If only your Daddy could see his
good little girl now.** It was that moment that he chose to reach down
and slowly pull at the tie of her tunic.

Cardella had never felt _anything_ like what she was feeling now. It was
a rush. So caught up was she in the moment and the new feelings, she
didn't protest or stop him when he reached for her ties. Her mind was so
focused on the feel of his lips as they continued to caress the flesh at
her neck.

He rewarded her compliance with more of the same. As his lips caressed
her windpipe, his hand slipped in under the fabric of her shirt. At
this rate he'd have her out of her clothes and flat on her back in no
time! J'nev was feeling completely vindicated in his assessment of her.
All those Holdbred morals she clung to were melting away under the heat
of his lips and the palm of his hand.

The moment she felt his hand touch her skin, Cardella's eyes jolted back
open and she stiffened a bit. Yet, she remembered Resta's words. She
would _have_ to give him something if she wanted this to continue.

"I am," she murmured, "uncertain, J'nev." Then his hand seemed to find a
very sensitive spot and she gasped as pleasure coursed through her body.
It was a feeling she had never before experienced. "Oh my," she
whispered. "I don't know if I want you to stop or to do that again."

As long as she was indecisive, he would keep making the decisions for
her. And so he did it again. And again. And again. His voice was
soft but rough as he whispered in her hear, "Trust me."

Cardella had placed her hand against his arm, intending to push him
away, but his touch rather invigorated here and made her loss control of
her sensibilities. "I don't...understand...what's happening," she
breathed the words between slight moans with each of his touches.

"It's only natural." He began leaning her back against the arm of the
sofa. She was so close to giving it all up now. "Just trust me."

Cardella was caught up in the moment, her head leaned back against the
sofa as she allowed him this access. This feeling she felt now must be
what Resta had spoken of. No wonder her friend had liked it so much.
Cardella had expected this intimate act to be different somehow. Resta
has said
it would hurt, but this didn't hurt. In fact it felt good, very good.

J'nev wanted to just get it over with quickly so he could enjoy his
triumph, but he could tell she still hadn't given over to him
completely. She was unsure, and if he moved too fast, she'd balk.
Instead he very patiently continued what she was obviously enjoying,
slowly peeling away her tunic so he could let his lips explore where his
hands had already traveled. That freed them to slowly begin inching up
her skirts. He was determined to finish this tonight!

Cardella's eyes bolted open. The moment his lips touched her skin and
his fingers moved to a new spot, she froze.

"No!" She stated loudly, her eyes swirling in fear and confusion. She
pushed his hand away from her leg, and tried to shimmy away from him.

"I don't think I like this anymore," she murmured, her lower lip
quivering. Cardella was frantic and full of trepidation. She wiggled
against him, wanting to get away, to not deal with the strange feelings
she was
feeling.

J'nev's first instinct was to pretend he hadn't heard her, pretend that
he had misinterpreted her pushing against him as wanting more. But even
he could not go that far, no matter how he wanted to just get it over
with. There was no victory in taking her body. It was her inhibition
he wanted to conquer.

"All right, all right," he said softly, removing his hand and holding it
up to try to pacify her. "Now what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"

She blinked, swallowing past the desire to burst into tears. Glancing
down she saw her shirt open, and she felt shame wash over her.

"I...I don't know. I'm scared. I don't understand what's happening."
Cardella's voice quivered as she spoke. "I...I'm sorry, J'nev." Cardella
was so uncertain, so confused. She covered her face with her hands in
embarrassment, shame, and remorse for having stopped what he had been
doing. She had enjoyed it, but it had scared her.

Last updated on the September 22nd 2010

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Doubts and Decisions (1 of 2)