What Might Have Been

Writers: AL
Date Posted: 30th November 2005

Characters: Xuxha
Description: Xuxha wonders what might have been had she not transferred to DCW.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 21 of Turn 3

**There, how does that feel?** Xuxha stepped back and stripped the glove from her hand. Iliath stretched her neck around to gaze at her back leg as she stretched it. Iliath had managed to strain one of her back legs in an awkward landing while hunting. It wasn't bad, but could get quit stiff and sore, especially after she hadn't moved for a while. }:It is better.:{ Iliath shifted and settled down into a better position and Xuxha put away the salve that had been given to her to apply to Iliath's leg.
**Let me know if it bothers you again.** Iliath merely yawned in response and Xuxha set about checking her straps. Threadfall wasn't due to fall for a while, but always made it a habit to check them at least once a sevenday. As she worked, Xuxha cast a glance over at her lifemate. Iliath's first eyelid had come down, casting a rather milky shade to her normally bright eyes.

**Iliath.**

}:Yes?:{
**Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if we hadn't left?**

}:Left?:{ Iliath lifted her head and eyed her bond quizzically.

**Rising Moons.**

The green dragon cocked her head to the side and yawned, then settled her head back upon her forelegs once more. }:This is our home.:{ She said simply.

"Yes, I know." Xuxha murmured more to herself than her dragon, then sighed. Iliath was caught up in the here and now and didn't bother with the past. She didn't really need to, Xuxha supposed. The greenrider couldn't help but wonder, though, what would have happened if she had stayed. There were those who had built up resentment against her, despite the fact that Harac had admitted to his lies. Xuxha couldn't help but think that some of them were of the mind that what he originally said was true and that he had been forced to testify to her innocence because she had been a weyrlingmaster favourite. There was, of course, her reputation to consider. While such a reputation wasn't even uncommon in the weyr, yet it went against her. She had known many other riders who had bedded more men more often than she, but of course, they weren't the ones accused of harrassment. Xuxha sighed and continued to work on her straps. She had left a couple of friends behind who hadn't turned against her, but over the turns, only one had kept in contact. It was because she had received a message from M'tif that very day that her thoughts had turned to her originally weyr home. He had simply written of mundane things, but even so she wondered if she could have made it work. Surely the hostility towards her couldn't have lasted forever.

Of course, she couldn't know. She honestly hadn't wanted to deal with it, which was why Xuxha had asked for a transfer in the first place. At Dolphin Cove, she had been allowed to work with the weyrlings in a position that she enjoyed. Would she have been allowed to do that at Rising Moons?

}:I itch.:{ A soft chuckle escaped from Xuxha at Iliath's statement and she left her straps to scratch her dragon's eyeridge for a while. }:This is our home.:{ Iliath repeated after a moment and nuzzled her rider. }:You are happy here, I am happy here. Why should we wish to be elsewhere?:{ "I can't argue with that." Xuxha stated with a laugh and patted her dragon's muzzle. She was happy there. Granted, her life was busy, but it was a good kind of busy. She enjoyed the weyrlings and helping out where she could. She had friends, drinking companions, and a good game of cards at least once a sevenday. Why should she wonder about what might have been when she had something so good there? **I guess I just wonder for a stupid reason. I don't really want to go back I just...**
Xuxha didn't finish, but shrugged. **I'm going to go get some dinner.**

The only answer Xuxha got was another yawn.

Last updated on the December 1st 2005

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What Might Have Been