Not Ready

Writers: Devin, Cali
Date Posted: 6th February 2010

Characters: B'vin, D'ren
Description: D'ren tries to convince B'vin to look for someone that will care about him.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 7, day 19 of Turn 5

"So I got sweepriding for it." B'vin explained his punishment from
K'heteh when he'd had the chance to sit and talk to D'ren again. "It
could have been worse, I suppose. Then again, he could have just
stayed out of it. It's not like the dragons were spooked."

D'ren shrugged. "It looks bad if he doesn't do anything."

"I suppose." B'vin replied, unimpressed. "He could have just acted
like he didn't hear about it. I don't know how he heard about it
anyways unless D'cal ran off and complained about it. There wasn't
anyone near us who could have seen."

"Maybe running off like a girl wasn't enough. He had to tattle, too."
D'ren chuckled. He was being unkind to his old friend, but he couldn't
resist.

"Well I wouldn't put the little tunnelsnake past it." B'vin replied,
as he laughed along with D'ren. It was easier to look at D'cal's
betrayal though humor when D'ren was around. Unfortunately, D'ren
wasn't around often enough. Still, B'vin was trying to get over the
hurt the bluerider had caused him.

"And I suppose he didn't apologize?"

B'vin shrugged. "Well, I haven't seen him, so technically he hasn't
had the chance. But he knows where my Weyr is."

"And he could find you through your dragons." D'ren took a sip of his
klah. "Well, we shouldn't dwell on it."

"It doesn't do any good." B'vin agreed.

"It's not like D'cal is the only man in the Weyr."

B'vin frowned, "What do you mean, 'the only man'?"

"I mean you should find someone else. Someone that actually wants to
be with you instead of just using you to burn off flight lust." D'ren
felt a little hypocritical making the suggestion when he didn't have
an interesting in finding a more serious partner himself. In time,
yes. But for now he wasn't ready for a relationship.

"I don't want to _find_ someone else." B'vin replied slowly. "I'm
not that guy, D'ren. I don't _find_ people. I sit here, and drink my
ale, and ignore everyone."

"Well, not everyone ignores _you_."

B'vin snorted. "You don't count."

"What about that bluerider that keeps giving you looks?" D'ren asked.

B'vin turned to where D'ren was looking and saw a group of several
riders from another wing sitting and talking. He didn't recognize
anyone more than vaguely, so he turned back. "Now you're just trying
to make me feel better. It's not necessary."

"I'm not making it up. Should I introduce you?" His smile was a little teasing.

"No." B'vin replied emphatically, slightly mortified D'ren was even
suggesting it.

"Well, then, are you going to introduce _yourself_?"

"Are you going to introduce _yourself_ to those two serving girls that
have been giggling over you all night?" B'vin nodded towards the
corner by the kitchen doors where the girls were standing together
even now.

"I'm not too shy to say hello. Besides, we were talking about you."
D'ren didn't have trouble finding a woman when he wanted to. One of
the effects of being a bronzerider was a lot of female attention.

B'vin looked away, not sure that he believed D'ren. He never saw him
talking to much of anyone outside his wingmates, but then again, B'vin
wasn't one to hang around any of the communal areas. "Let's change
the subject. I'm not going to introduce myself to anyone and you
goading me to will only piss me off and then where will we be?"

"Back where we were a few months ago?" D'ren said. He sighed. "I just
want you to find someone that actually cares about you, instead of
using you when it's convenient."

"I have Serenth." B'vin replied. Serenth had been all he'd needed
for so long. He'd made a mistake with D'cal, he wouldn't let that
happen again. "I don't need anyone else to care about me. A nice
safe bronze drinking buddy is close enough."

"You deserve it, though. You deserve to know what it's like to love
and be loved by another person." Despite his difficulties over the
past turn, D'ren was still a romantic at heart.

Deserving is something he didn't know about. Sometimes he thought he
deserved love, to have someone accept him for who he was. Then he was
reminded of his father, who hated him for wanting that acceptance from
a man instead of a woman. He was reminded of D'cal, who he'd thought
accepted him, but couldn't do it unless the guise of a flight hid his
own shame. So many here at the Weyr had decided that they _deserved_
love, and had found it. Why couldn't he? "Maybe someday, D'ren. Not
now though. I'm just not ready."

Last updated on the February 15th 2010

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