Shell Shock (Pt. 4)

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 6th May 2009

Characters: Telemon, T'mahl
Description: T'mahl wakes up in Telemon's Infirmary
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 2, day 6 of Turn 5

The bronzerider's eyes slowly opened. His mind was slow and groggy and
his throat felt soar and dry. A sterile smell filled his nostrils.
Just where was he? Slowly he tried to sit up, but a large hand stopped
him.

"Take it easy. You'll be dizzy after the fellis-sleep," Telemon
cautioned him.

"Telemon?" Little snips of memory were coming back to him slowly -
standing on the ledge, looking out over the people, going to the
infirmary, wheyrhide boots... U'kaiah! And Kapera! "The Fall!" He sat
up quickly, too quickly. The blood drained from his head, leaving him
dizzy. T'mahl reached out to grab onto the healer's tunic to steady
himself.

Gently, but with surprising strenght, the weyrhealer pushed him back
down. "Carefully," he warned. "We are at the second hour of the Fall
right now," he told him.

The bronzerider's sluggish mind tried to play back how he had ended up
here. The last thing he could remember was U'kaiah and his Weyrwoman
walking out and two healers walking in, one with a cup in his hand.
"You drugged me."

"Yes, we had to. You were..." Telemon searched for the right word,
"...incohorent." Which sounded better than trashing around wildly and
insanely.

T'mahl reached out to his lifemate, feeling confused and unnerved. What
happened to him?

}:You were remembering before. You were scared, even though I tried to
tell you that you didn't need to be,:{ his dragon murmured softly in his
mind. }:You're all right now. They made you sleep and now you'll feel
better.:{

Uluruth's assurance strengthened him as he tried to remember back to how
this all started. "I dreamed of Thread last night."

"Don't we all?" Telemon asked rhetorically. "You were acting
strangely. Do you have any idea what happened to you?"

"Strangely," T'mahl murmured softly. He had a feeling more than one
person would say that would putting it mildly. "I couldn't sleep. All
I could think about was... Was that I had to go up again." Already he
could feel his palms start to sweat at just the thought. "I just...
couldn't stop hearing the screams."

"And then you decided to make a mess of our supply closet?"

Shards, he felt like an out of control child. "I'm sorry," he said
softly, feeling utterly ashamed at his uncharactersitic lack of control.

"Seems to me like you had some sort of nervous breakdown, a delayed
post-traumatic stress reaction," Telemon said. He had read the
Weyrleader's medical history while waited him to wake up. "You were
badly scored, weren't you? Did you ever deal properly with the mental
trauma or did you just push it out of your concience?"

"I don't know. I was so busy just learning how to use my body again."
Did _any_ of them have time to dwell on it?

"You should have been given few sessions with the mindhealer at that
time. But then, everyone was busy and we didn't know all we know
_now_. You should always see mind healer after serious injury like
that," Telemon said and sighed. He had been hold healer at that time,
but the problems had been same all over Pern. No one had a clue what
to do.

"There were hundreds of us, Telemon," T'mahl replied defensively,
feeling that he was being scolded for his past. "And what can a
mindhealer do? Can they promise to take away our nightmares? Can they
make us forget what we've seen and heard?"

"They can help you to live with them, so the past won't haunt you,"
Telemon said firmly.

"It was turns ago. I've lived with it too long, Telemon." There was no
hope for his mind now. Neither his mind, nor his reputation. "It's
part of who I am now."

"It's never too late," Telemon replied.

The bronzerider smiled bitterly. "Can it take back what happened
today?"

"No, but prevent it happening ever again," the healer said.

"I think it almost would have been easier if I _had_ cracked my shell."
How was he ever going to face any of his riders again? No one would
respect a coward. "Am I still Weyrleader?"

"Yes you are, as far as I know. You're just temporary ill," Telemon
said. Such matters were to the riders to decide, not his area.

He laid back into the cushions closing his eyes with a deep sigh. A
Weyrleader with no respect was like the wings on a watchweyr -
absolutely useless. **The dragon's should never have picked me.**

}:Don't say that! You're the best there is,:{ Uluruth chided him.

Though his lifemate had meant to encourage him, it just made him feel
worse. "I just want to sleep. Can you give me something to sleep?"

"Sure," Telemon replied compassionately. "Just wait a few minutes."

**Make it strong,** his mind silently begged. At this moment, T'mahl
wasn't sure he was all that interested in waking up.

Last updated on the May 24th 2009

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

Shell Shock (Pt. 4)