So Unfair

Writers: AL, Devin
Date Posted: 22nd March 2009

Characters: Cosani, Meledei
Description: Cosani vents some of her family problems to Meledei.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 1, day 19 of Turn 5

Cosani

"I hate him! I hate them _both_!" Cosani marched into the barracks, a concerned Shalith right behind her.

"Him? Who?" Meledei would have expected her to hate another certain greenrider, but that rider in question was certainly not male by any stretch of the imagination. The gold weyrling set aside the carving she had been working on and turned to place her full attention upon Cosani. "What happened?"

"He said she was coming to _visit_, but now she's _staying_!" Cosani sat on her bed with a thud. Shalith put her head in her rider's lap and Cosani stroked her gently even as the girl's eyes blazed with anger.

"Who said?" Meledei wasn't quite following Cosani. She knew she was mad, but the girl seemed to get angry or upset rather easily. It couldn't be Salubri, for as a greenrider, it was a given that she was staying. "Who's staying?"

"My ma."

"Your mother?" Cosani had talked a little bit about her past, but not with any depth. Mostly Meledei had simply gotten the idea that her mother hadn't treated her well and Cosani didn't have the greatest relationship with her. "I'm not quite sure I follow."

"N'vanik brought her to visit. He went and told her I Impressed, and she wanted to see me and I said it was ok. I ..." She shrugged. "I guess I missed her, a little. But it was only supposed to be a visit." Cosani wasn't sure why she was so upset.

"Oh." Meledei sat in silence for a moment as she processed the information given. "So you're mother's not just coming for a visit and staying. And that's why you hate your father and her?"

"Yes." Cosani looked down into her dragon's whirling eyes. **I'm trying not to be so upset, but I can't help it.**

}:Loseth said his rider didn't mean to hurt you. I like him. I like them both. And Loseth's rider wants your mother to be in a good place.:{ Human relationships were beyond the green's understanding, but she tried anyway.

"Is it a bad thing?" Meledei was almost hesitant to ask, but she couldn't really understand why Cosani was so upset about it. The Weyr was a large place, surely Cosani could avoid her mother if she really wanted to.

"She's not supposed to be here. This is _my_ life," Cosani said.

"Who's to say it's still not?" Meledei cocked her head to the side as she regarded her friend. "Even if she's here, it's still your life. She's just living in the same place, that's all."

"But I don't _want_ her here!" She knew she sounded childish, but she didn't care. "I was stuck at the Hold all that time, and _now_ she decides to come to the Weyr? Why couldn't she have done that sooner? Why did she make me suffer all that time? _I'm_ the one who left. I did all the work to get here." And it had been hard and sometimes terrifying to make the journey by herself. "And now she gets a ... a ... free ride!" Shalith rumbled her distress and Cosani resumed stroking the green's head.

"Maybe." Meledei wasn't sure what exactly had happened in Cosani's past, but she knew even less about her mother's. Something told Meledei there was more to their stories than met the eye and she wasn't sure she could judge anything about the woman from what little she'd heard. "But she didn't get a dragon - you did. You at least
know that you accomplished something, right?"

"I _deserve_ to be here. She doesn't." If N'vanik was telling the truth, all her mother would have had to do was tell him she was pregnant, and Cosani could have grown up in a Weyr. It was so unfair. So sharding unfair.

"Well...I can't really be the judge of that." Meledei shifted closer to her friend. "But don't let it get you down. You worked hard and have gotten something she'll never have. That's something to be proud of."

Cosani's hands moved over the warm hide of her dragon. "Why did she make us stay there?" she asked quietly.

Meledei shook her head. "I don't know why. Did you ever ask?"

"She just comes up with excuses."

"Maybe she felt tied to her family." Meledei had strong ties to her own. Such ties could easily motivate someone to do things, even things they wouldn't normally do. "Regardless of why, you're here now. She might be here, but you know that you've worked for it and that's something to be proud of, right?"

Cosani laughed bitterly. "Tied to her family. Maybe she liked getting told how awful she was all the time."

"Some people will put up with a lot out of a sense of loyalty." It was sad that someone would treat her that way - treat Cosani that way. "But you know you're not awful right?"

"I know," Cosani said. "Grandda said I'd never amount to anything, but now I have Shalith."

"See, you proved him wrong!" What a horrid thing to say to anyone! Meledei probably would have smacked that man right in his face had she ever heard him say that. "You've proved yourself. Don't worry about your mother, just take care of Shalith."

"Yeah." She wished it was that easy.

Last updated on the March 25th 2009

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So Unfair