The Right Choice

Writers: AL
Date Posted: 22nd January 2009

Characters: Edele, Aliren
Description: Edele contemplates the choice - and the sacrifice - she made.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 13, day 20 of Turn 4
Notes: Silver Sails

The sea sang to her, wind whipping at her hair, exuberantly greeting her and welcoming her back to its fold. She smiled, nose tingling, the salt stinging her lips. It was so good to be back. She glanced toward the stairs that led below deck. She would go to him soon enough. For the moment she was enjoying the solitude. She had made her choice, yes, but it was not without its sacrifices. The woman closed her eyes and the sea changed to another view, one that she had seen not so long ago.

~ ~ ~

Alita had slowed down once Jerroll was out of sight. Her breathing was short, sporadic, but it wasn't from the running but rather an attempt at holding herself together. She managed to hold it in, keep the tears from spilling forth until she reached the bedchamber she would share with a man she barely knew. Once there in the privacy of her room, she let the tears come, body shaking as sobs quaked her. What was she to do? She barely knew her husband, but he _was_ her husband. She loved Jerroll, oh how she loved that man, pirate or otherwise, but he was not her husband. Had she been free, without responsibility, the choice would have been such an easy one to make. But she wasn't free and she did have responsibilities. While her memory still eluded her, she couldn't just leave now that she knew.

The door opened but a moment or two more and Alita did her best to stop her crying. She looked up, fixing a smile upon her face for the man she expected. The smile faded when it wasn't Daren, but a young man of about sixteen turns in age. Alita stood in surprise and the man closed the door behind him, then turned to stare at her. Edele opened her mouth to say something, then took a step back, falling back upon the bed where she had been sitting before his entrance. Something about him. That face...she knew that face. It was a mixture of her own and Daren's. Something flashed before her, that same face, but much younger and chubbier, tinier. A baby. She had held that boy in her arms so many turns ago.

"A...Aliren?"

"You remember me!" The boy's face lit up in a bright smile and he quickly moved across the room and took his mother's hands in his own. "You remember me!" He repeated, obviously excited.

"I...I do." She did remember. The pictures were erratic without much to lace them together, but it was enough to remember him indeed. She reached out to caress his cheek and more memories surfaced. A son...her son. The only child she had ever born to her husband. The one thing that had held her to him. "I...I'm sorry." She stated after a moment, shaking her head.

"Father said you had lost all of your memory." The young man took a seat beside Alita, still holding her hands in his.

"I did...I still haven't recovered much...but I remember you. How could I forget you?" How indeed. Why had he not come to mind earlier? No matter, she remembered him now, as soon as she saw him she knew. She leaned forward, drawing the boy into her embrace. "Oh my darling Aliren!"

Aliren returned the hug eagerly. After a few moments later he pulled back and took her hands once more. "What happened?"

"A shipwreck. I honestly don't remember, just that I was found floating upon some debris in the water." Alita was loathe to let him go. "Jerroll and his mates brought me back when I managed to remember something about Esper Bay."

"I'm glad you remembered." The young man squeezed her hands. "It's so good to have you back. I've missed you. So has Father, though he may not admit it."

"H...he has?" Daren had been nothing but polite to her since her arrival, but despite his enthusiastic greeting, Alita had gotten nothing but a courteousness that seemed more out of habit than out of love.

"Yes." Aliren studied her for a moment then whispered, "What's wrong?"

"Oh...oh nothing." Alita shook her head and managed a small smile. "It's just so good to see you."

Aliren went silent, studying her once more with that sharp gaze. Then, he whispered, "You love him, don't you?"

"I...I don't know. I'm sorry, Aliren, I remember you, oh how I could forget the product of my womb! But Daren...I've yet to really remember much of him."

"No, not Daren. The sailor."

Alita started, not expecting the boy to bring him up. "W...what do you mean?"

"I saw you and him. He kissed you and you didn't seem to mind it so much." Aliren continued, still studying her.

The woman flushed and lowered her gaze.

"It's okay, Mama." Aliren stated softly, leaning forward. "I know that while you like Father, you and he have never been particularly close." He paused, then asked, "You don't want to stay, do you?"

"I do!" Alita insisted, lifting her gaze to her son once more. "I don't want to leave you again!"

"But you won't be happy." The boy scooted over and put his arm around his mother's shoulders.

"I don't want to leave you." Alita repeated, leaning into her son's embrace.

"You have a choice." Aliren stated after a moment.

"No. My place is here with you." Suddenly she knew what she was going to choose. Alita couldn't leave her only child, not again.

For a long time, the two sat there, embracing one another. Finally Aliren gave his mother one last squeeze and pulled away. "I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I wasn't at port, but father sent a firelizard and we got back as soon as we could. I must go take care of some things, but I'll be sure to come back."

"Of course. Of course." Alita nodded, standing as her son did. "Oh it's so good to see you!"

"It's wonderful to see you too." Aliren leaned forward and placed a kiss upon Alita's forehead. "I'll be back in a little bit and we can sit and catch up."

"Yes." Alita was resolved to get no sleep that night, the desire to spend time with her son overriding her need for sleep.

Alita watched her son headed to the door. He opened, started to step through then stopped and turned to look at his mother. "No matter what you choose, Mama, I'll love you regardless. I just want you to be happy." With one last smile, he closed the door and Alita was left with her reeling thoughts.

No, she hadn't had much choice in the matter in her mind. It had been hard enough trying to decide with just knowing that she had a husband, but her son? No. She couldn't leave him, could she?

~ ~ ~

Aliren had returned a candlemark later and the two had talked until two candlemarks before the dawn. She had told him everything that she remembered and even about her feelings for Jerroll. The boy had encouraged her to go, assuring her that he just wanted her to be happy. He had been the reason she had made the decision she did. He just wanted what was best for her and felt that this was it. So they had gone to her husband who had taken residence in another room, waking him from slumber. Daren had been surprised, but agreed. He had talked with her for some time before Alita left with only a few possessions and his blessing. They had been friends, but no more. They were still friends and Daren had assured her she would always have a place for her, even if it wasn't as his wife. He would have the marriage dissolved. Alita was free. It had all been easier than she had thought it would be. Easier than she had a right for it to be.

Despite her son's blessings, she did regret leaving him. He had assured her that he would send letters often via his brown firelizard. She missed him already, her heart ached for him, yet she knew she had made the right choice. Edele straightened and headed for the stairs. Yes. She had made the right choice.

At least...she hoped she had.

Last updated on the January 22nd 2009

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The Right Choice