Not Alone

Writers: Devin
Date Posted: 19th December 2008

Characters: Talryne, N'vanik
Description: Talryne is hit hard by the anniversary of her dragon's death.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 2 of Turn 4

Talryne

N'vanik

If she hadn't been an apprentice, she might not have noticed the date at all. But with classes and projects to keep track of, Talryne was almost always aware of the date.

It didn't take her long to remember what today was.

A gaping black hole opened up inside her and she whimpered, the thin sheet half thrown off her and her legs leaning over the side of the bed. She froze, everything inside her froze, except for that emptiness that grew and grew and grew.

Loseth crooned from the ledge. }:I am here, Talryne. We are here for you.:{ N'vanik sat up, part of him not wanting to turn, afraid to look at the expression on her face. But he made himself do it. Even in the dim light, he could see the pain on her face. He slid across the bed and wrapped his arms around her. "It's okay." That wasn't true, but it was the only thing he could think of to say.

She clenched her eyes shut, as if she could shut out her loss. "Ysanth," she whispered. Saying her name made the ache worse, and the emptiness inside her widened. It would be easy, so easy to fall in. To tip over the edge and never come out.

}:No. Stay. We love you.:{ N'vanik tightened his arms around her. Her body was rigid with tension and he felt a sinking fear. What if this was it? What if all the struggling was too much for her and she didn't have enough strength left? "Tal, don't close up on me. I know it's bad, but you have to come back."

She started to shudder. "She's gone!" Talryne wailed. "She's gone!" It was like it was happening all over again.

N'vanik sharply remembered that day, watching Thread writhe along Talryne and Ysanth, eating their flesh in the seconds before they went /between/ ... holding her hand when Ysanth disappeared forever. Not knowing if Talryne would follow her. "You're not alone ... you're not alone," he murmured against her ear.

}:We're here. You're not alone,:{ Loseth crooned.

"I need you, Tal."

She seized on those words, those assurances. She would never be whole again, but she wasn't alone. That deep emptiness inside her started to fade. It would never go away, but she could push it down, far, far down. Talryne had a life to go back to, where she could do something useful with her weaving, where she was loved. With a deep sigh and one more shudder, she opened her eyes. "I'm okay," she whispered, laying a hand on one of N'vanik's arms.

He kissed her cheek as some of the tension left her body. He felt his own body relax, only now realizing how tense he'd been. "Good," was all he could manage to say. She shifted and he eased his hold on her.

Turning around, she laid a hand on his cheek and kissed him. "You should get ready for drills."

"My Second can handle it for a day."

She frowned. "But it's important."

"Today, staying with you is more important." He brushed her hair over her shoulder.

She laid her head against his chest. "Won't they get mad?" Talryne was glad, though. She needed to be with him today.

"I don't care if they are. If they can't understand, they can scorch themselves."

A breathy sound that was almost a laugh escaped her. Some things about N'vanik hadn't changed. She felt guilty that he was staying here with her. She knew he needed as much time training with the Wing as possible. But she didn't know if she could stand it if she was left alone now. "Thank you," she said, pressing tighter against him.

"No problem." He rubbed at her back while Loseth continued to croon, doing their best to make sure Talryne knew she wasn't alone.

Last updated on the December 19th 2008

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Not Alone