Unfortunately

Writers: Eimi
Date Posted: 29th August 2007

Characters: Birigundi
Description: Birigundi writes his mother after the death of his son.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 5, day 20 of Turn 4

Birigundi

Birigundi quietly closed the door behind himself. Rigella was finally asleep. The healers had given her something to help her sleep before she could realize what was really happening. It was for the best. She could rest peacefully that way. They had offered him something too, but he refused. There were arrangements that needed to be made, and Rigella was in no frame of mind to be of any help. The healers were helping as much as they could, but there were more difficult questions that needed answering, such as what to do with the body, whether or not there would be a memorial, or should they just take care of it quietly as if it had never happened. As cold as it was, that seemed the best option. Rigella just couldn't take it. And besides, just how many people would remember a boy who had only lived nine days?

Closing his eyes, the image of that little face came to him. Rigmor looked so peaceful, so at ease. Death was a release for him, his father knew. His little heart just couldn't go any further. **He doesn't have to fight anymore now...** The minutes ticked by as he stood with his hand on the knob. Finally taking a deep breath he stepped into the room. There was something he came here to do. Shards, it wasn't going to be easy.

He pulled out his letter-writing kit and sat down at the table. Leaf popped in, sensing her lifemate would need her soon. Her eyes whirled with worry as she looked up into his face, staring through the sheet of paper in front of him, through the grain of the desk, through time... If only... Shaking his head he took another deep breath and sat up straight.

"Dear Ma -"...

Was that too formal? He didn't know. He usually started his letters with "Hello" or "Guess Who!" or some other familiar greeting. But how do you start a letter like this? 'Dear Ma' worked as well as anything else, he finally decided.

"Dear Ma,

I'm sorry I didn't write you sooner. I've been very busy
this past sevenday and a half. Rigella had her baby..."

He scratched out 'her'.

"Rigella had _our_ baby. It was a boy. We named him Rigmor
after her father. Besides, both of our names have 'Rig' in them,
so it was also kind of after the both of us as well..."

**Who cares where his name came from,** Birigundi thought bitterly as he scratched out the last sentence.

"Unfortunately he was not healthy from birth."

**Unfortunately?** What a pathetic word. **The grandson you never had a chance to know just died. Aww, now isn't that unfortunate.** And isn't it sad that Rigmor would never draw another breath, and woeful that Rigella had tried to hurt herself, and isn't it lamentable that her mind was cracking and she had to be sedated before she really did some real damage? Wasn't it just unlucky that Lyndi would never know her brother and just too bad that Biri had managed to push Nia away too? How very regrettable that he had managed to screw up so many lives in such a short amount of time...

With a frustrated growl he pushed those thoughts down, took up his pen once more and pulled out another fresh sheet.

"Ma-

Rigella had our baby. It was a boy. But his heart was deformed
and he did not survive. He died this morning. I'm sorry.

Biri"

There, it was done. He dropped the pen unceremoniously, not caring as little drops of ink splattered across the page, and buried his head in his hands. Leaf nudged her little green nose against his arm, sensing her human was hurting. She crooned softly as she wrapped her talons around his finger. Finally he lifted his head, his eyes filling. His vision blurred as he reached out to rub her eyeridge. "I just miss Nia so much," he whispered as the tears spilled down his cheeks and he finally allowed himself to give in to the misery in his heart.

Last updated on the November 30th 2008

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