Acceptance

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 28th November 2008

Characters: Traelyn, B'ram
Description: Traelyn reveals to B'ram some of what happened between her and U'kaiah at Dragonsfall's Hatching.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 14 of Turn 4

B'ram

Feeling B'ram's fingers slowly begin to uncurl from their tight grasp on her hair, Traelyn shifted a little, pressing her cheek against his hard abdomen, unwilling to look him in the eyes just yet. Shameless, the way she had manipulated him, knowing that he wouldn't put up much a fight. He had wanted to say something when she'd walked into his weyr from the ledge, but she hadn't wanted to answer the question in his eyes. It was a restday, and B'ram knew that restdays belonged to U'kaiah. Why was she coming to _him_ when she should be holed up in her own weyr or on her way to Dragonsfall? So before he could ask, she'd silenced him with a swift kiss, using her hands and lips to further distract him from the obvious.

She wasn't proud of herself. But he knew her. He wouldn't condemn her for using sex--even if it was one-sided--to hide. She knew, just like he did, that she'd have to talk about it eventually....but not yet. Gently she rubbed her cheek against his skin, still refusing to move up his body and look at him. Not yet.

B'ram had been surprised to see her in his weyr, and even more surprised at just how badly she wanted him to not ask questions. He knew that was her motivation, and he knew something had to be wrong, but he certainly didn't mind her chosen method of distraction. It was certainly a whole lot more enjoyable than the restday plans he would have had otherwise. His breath was still ragged as he smoothed the hair back from her face.

Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to be lulled by his soothing caresses, trying to ignore that slight twinge of guilt. She knew he wouldn't have any complaints, and he accepted what she'd given for what it was, but it shouldn't have had to be like that between them: deception, manipulation. Not any more. Shards. Her fingers tightened on the sheets beneath her as she lifted her face, eyes finally, hesitatingly, meeting his.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly, his fingers caressing her perfect lips.

She caught the tip of one lightly between her lips, lowering her eyes as she weighed her options--not that she had many. Why prolong waiting? It would be better once she got it all off her chest. She released his finger, kissing it gently. Her smile was slow and wry when she looked up at him again. "Do you really want to hear about it?"

Did he really want to hear why she was here in his room pulling his pants around his knees when she'd usually be off banging that scorching bronzerider? Shards yeah he wanted to hear about it! "You seem to have something on your mind..."

Her expression sharpened for a moment as she searched his face, then she sighed, gathering her legs under her so she could sit up. "I went to Dragonsfall's Hatching." But he already knew that. Her fingers made quick work on her blouse's ties, finishing what B'ram had started. "We had....a discussion." More like a yelling match, she thought darkly as she peeled her shirt off.

"Not a pleasant one, I assume," B'ram said, lifting himself into a seated position facing her. His fingers reached out to draw a lazy circle around her navel before looping them around the buckle on her belt.

"Mmmmmm."

"What did you talk about?" He pulled her gently towards him until she was sitting on his lap, her arms circling his neck as he placed soft kisses along her shoulder. B'ram wasn't interested in sex, and really neither was she. But he knew the dance. By pretending he was only passingly interested in her words, she would feel less threatened by opening up to him and possibly losing face in front of him. Besides, he could try to comfort her in words, but it was touch that she understood. It was just her way.

Shards, what _hadn't_ they snarled at each other about? Her fingers threaded through the short hair at his nape, a silent encouragement for him to keep on doing what he was doing. It was easier to talk when he wasn't staring at her. "He was a wherry's arse," she muttered, closing her eyes as his teeth teased her skin.

Of course he was, B'ram thought, silently crowing at the thought of how quickly her perfect bronzerider had fallen from her favor. "What did he say?"

"I know what you think of him." Her nails drifted down his spine. "But despite it all, B'ram, he was what Dolphin Cove needed. He had the experience, the knowledge." Her tone turned hard. "But he made it perfectly clear to me--again--that his ambition comes before anything else in his life."

B'ram didn't want to point out that if the man was really so ambitious, he probably would have tried whatever chance had come along. But he liked her thinking the man was a tunnel snake. He was going to encourage that thinking as much as possible. Rolling her onto her back, he gently settled himself on top of her, looking her straight in the eye for emphasis. "He's a sharding fool to put all that crackdust above you."

"I'm a selfish woman," she whispered.

"If he loved you, he would have come," he murmured softly before dipping his head to kiss her collarbone. Let her think on that. It was the kind of idea that could fester, and he wanted it to wound her. He wanted her to be hurt. He wanted her to doubt. He wanted the bronzerider out of the picture for good.

She was glad he couldn't see her face just then. Pain flashed through her eyes, and she closed them briefly, hands clamping tightly on B'ram's hips. "You would've?"

B'ram looked up at her face, seeing in her eyes that his words had hit home. "Even as a brownrider without a chance on Pern I would have."

And he loved her. Traelyn turned her face away, guilt warring with confusion and lingering anger.

The brownrider watched her face, knowing that there was a conflict raging inside her. He slid to the side and pulled her body into his, not entice her, but to hold her. She wanted him to distract her. He wanted her to think. B'ram wanted her to wallow in her doubt. "Screw him, Trae. He made his choice."

No. Maybe....maybe not. True, U'kaiah hadn't come to her yet, but he would. It had only been one sevenday. He would come. And until then, she'd allow herself a sliver of hope. "It's not over, B'ram." The look she gave him was a hard one when her eyes finally flickered to his.

His look was only slightly apologetic as he tightened his arms around her. "You can't blame me for hoping, can you?"

Guilt of a different kind pierced her, and she wouldn't look at him, shying away from the question--from what it implied.

He had pushed her too far. If he wasn't careful, he could push her away. With a sigh he turned and kissed the back of her head softly and moved his hand to rest on her hip, purposefully releasing her from having to answer that question.

By the way his hand touched her she knew that it was his way of taking back the question. Of course, neither would forget that he'd uttered it, but for now, it was enough that he didn't demand an answer from her. In fact, he wasn't demanding anything from her. Maybe he wasn't testing her--at least, not any more--but as she lay there quietly, with his breath warm against her hair, she knew that he was waiting for her to accept his silent offering. After another moment of stillness, she finally moved. Her hand slipped over his and she turned, guiding his fingers to her belt as she met his eyes. Despite everything, they loved one another, and his ill-thought question couldn't overshadow that. Traelyn leaned closer, lips brushing against his, showing him her acceptance the only way she knew how.

Last updated on the November 28th 2008

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