Gripped by the Past

Writers: Elyriel
Date Posted: 10th November 2008

Characters: T'marek
Description: T'marek remembers his past.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 15 of Turn 4

Wide, overly so, shoulders stooped forward in a decided slump. Dusty brown hair cropped so short it barely covered his head reflected the light of a partly covered glow. Lifting mud brown eyes skyward, T'marek watched as a rider appeared overhead and was greeted by the dragon on watch duty. Life in the Weyr. Not something he'd always known but he had spent more time lifemated to Iriketh than he had not.

Rarely one to reminisce about the past, the maudlin mood the brownrider found himself in seemed to steer his thoughts in that direction. As his legs dangled over the ledge of his weyr and his body rested against his lifemate's' hide, images from the past flashed through T'marek's mind. Most of them moved too fast, just a brief flicker of a memory before they were gone again. One grabbed him though. It took hold of him and sucked him into the past with a grip that was not only impossible to break but painful to the very core of his being.

~ ~ ~

"Tal!" Pumping her small legs for all they were worth, Ania ran as if her life depended on it. And at almost six turns, for her it did. "Tal! Wait! Don't go!" Tears filled her amber eyes and spilled down onto rosy, dirt stained cheeks. "Tal, please don't go!" Catching up to the brother who had been her world since she was born, the young girl threw her arms around his leg and held on for dear life. "Tal!" She cried again, the sound heart wrenching.

Stopping his forward motion, Talmarek looked down into the face of the one person in the world who held a piece of his heart. His brother and he fought constantly, his mother had become a shell of a woman since the death of his father six turns ago, but Ania... Ania had wormed her way into his heart from the moment she'd drawn her first breath. "I have to, sweeting," he said in a gentle tone no one else had ever heard issue from his lips.

"WHY?!" The young girl screamed at him, her fit increasing as her cries grew louder. "Take me with you. Please, Tal."

It tore at him, seeing her this way, but he couldn't stay. For six turns he had done everything he could to see that Almar and Ania had everything they needed. He had given up his dream to be a healer and worked from sun up to sun down so that they could have the things he had been denied. But no more. Almar had made it clear that the eldest of the three siblings was no longer needed to take care of things here. The fight had been loud, rough, and Talmarek still sported numerous bruises from it. "Because it's time," came his answer finally.

Reaching down he pulled his sister from his leg and hugged her tightly to him. "I'm sorry, Ania." He whispered into her golden-brown curls. She smelled of redfruit and the outdoors, of youth and hope. It was a scent that would stay with him over the turns to come. "You be good for Mama and Almar. They'll take care of you."

Setting her down once more, he disengaged her hands when she once again threw herself around him. Her small body shook with the tears she shed, loud cries of denial renting the air. Looking up he spotted his brother, younger than him by three turns, step forward.

"Ania." Came the sharp command. "Leave Tal alone, he's leaving and you can't make him stay." Eyes so dark they looked almost black speared Talmarek with something that bordered on hatred. Although Almar was three Turns younger, he was already bigger than his older brother. Larger, stronger and a world meaner. At least where Talmarek was concerned. With their mother and sister he was usually kind and giving. It was the only reason Tal had agreed to leave and let him be in charge like he so desperately seemed to want.

"No!" The young girl cried, clinging to her oldest brother once again.

Sighing softly, Talmarek reached down and picked his sister up. Walking back to his brother he handed her to him doing his best not to touch Almar. "I love you, Ania," he murmured. Then looking at his brother, he speared the other man with a harsh glare. "Take care of her." Their mother he wasn't worried about so much. She rarely if ever left her sleeping room. She would waste away to nothing inside a turn, two at the most.

"I will." Almar said in that deep voice of his. "Don't come back."

Hard lips twisted into a thin line, barely visible under the bent nose that hooked to one side after being broken by the very person who stood in front of him with such hatred in his gaze more than once. "Don't worry. I won't. It's all yours now, Almar."

With that he turned and walked away, the sound of his sister's hysterics the only thing that made him want to turn around and change his mind. He didn't though. He just kept walking.

~ ~ ~

}:It was a long time ago.:{ The voice that was so much like his own but richer, fuller, echoed in Talmarek's head.

Sighing heavily, the brownrider nodded. "That it was." Closing his eyes he leaned even more into his lifemate's warmth. "I wonder if she's okay." He mused, more to himself than anything. He had kept his promise, he'd never returned. He'd impressed Iriketh a turn later and life became too involved to worry about the past. It was only on nights like this, moments like this, when the past refused to remain buried that he thought about his sister. He had thought about her daily at first but gradually, over the turns, she had faded into his distant memory. And the past was where she belonged. She represented a life he could barely remember anymore. A life he'd given up over twenty-six turns ago.

}:The sun is rising.:{ Blinking, T'marek looked up. He'd done it yet again. Spent another sleepless night curled up at his lifemate's side. Sighing heavily he pushed himself to his feet, brushed himself off and headed into his weyr to get ready for the day. The past was now safely buried again. With any luck it would be turns before it reared its ugly head once more.

Last updated on the November 18th 2008

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Gripped by the Past