What If

Writers: Kaysea, AL
Date Posted: 27th September 2008

Characters: Eliste, Fog
Description: Fog escorts Eliste back to her quarters and he tries to soothe more of her fears.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 12, day 5 of Turn 4
Notes: Nettleweed Dock

The night had descended. Dinner was over, and their walk should come to an end soon. Eliste strode beside Fog, her right arm linked with his. Her other arm lazily draped over the back of her son where he hung in the carrier she had made, eyes open and peering off to the side, quiet and content.

It was the time of day Eliste hated. It was the time when she would go back to her own quarters, Fog to his, and she would be left alone. It was during this time that her fears came to haunt her, to tug at her, to take down any hope or confidence she had built up. Fog seemed to keep those at bay. Shards, she couldn't wait to leave. Once everything was over, she wouldn't have to be so frightened. She hoped anyway.

Eliste tilted her head up and gazed at the stars above them. Just a hint of sunlight peeked over the horizon, though it was already late. Perhaps the sun couldn't decide whether it should go to bed or not. The girl shifted her gaze to the man beside her, then to the path in front of them. Her hold upon his arm tightened as they drew near to her quarters, wishing he didn't have to leave.

Fog's arm tightened around Eliste's shoulders as they approached her quarters, he had felt her grip tighten as well and knew how she felt. "It's won't be long now sweet one..." he said quietly, tilting his head down to hers as his breath caressed her ear. "Soon we'll be retiring together and you'll feel safe then - I hope?"

"I hope." Eliste echoed his words and offered a small smile which she hoped was encouraging. "But I do wish we didn't have to part, that we could say good night yet stay together."

"It wouldn't do, not when we're so close to making our union official," his own voice echoed her regret.

"I know." Oh but it was oh so tempting! It would be so easy just to let him stay, to have him there, his arms around her all through the night. But Fog was right. It wouldn't do at all. They were so close. So close...

A thought came to Eliste as they stopped at her door and her face hardened as well as her hold upon Fog tightening all the more.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern clouding his face.

"What if...what if Lord Corowal won't dissolve the marriage?"

"We'll keep petitioning him until he agrees." Fog affirmed, "I'm determined to marry you." he said gruffly, trying hard to keep his emotions in check. "I love you so much, Eliste." he said, his lips almost touching hers, "If I have to prostrate myself in front of Corowal, I will." he finished adamantly.

"I hope it will not come to that." Humiliation is not something she wished to be a cause of to anyone, least of all him. "But what if he doesn't?"

"He will - don't even consider anything else." he shook his head, knowing if the Lord Holder wouldn't give her her freedom, he would take her away to somewhere, anywhere where they could live as man and wife. He wouldn't ruin her reputation by taking her aboard the Sungazer where everyone would know they weren't married - even the Weyr would be better than everyone looking down on her, but they would cross that particular river when they came to it.

"I can't help it." Eliste knew she was being pessimistic and she despised it. Yet the fears came unbidden. She wanted to be rid of Helvar and she wanted to cling to this man who had come to mean so much to her.

"Look love, you're tired and when you're tired you tend to worry more. It can't be good for Follen either..." he said, his hand gently caressing his son's head, "Open the door, and we'll go inside, I'll stay for a little while, until you're almost asleep and then... I'll leave, okay?"

"Okay." That was better than nothing. Eliste managed a small smile and opened the door, leading him into her quarters. That done, she untied the carrier and held Follen out to him. "Hold him while I change?"

"My pleasure." he took the babe in his arms, he was growing well now, and looked the image of his mother, to Fog's eyes at least. He wondered just how much he took after his birth father, then wiped the thought from his mind, _he_ was Follen's birth father, and he would take on anyone who would challenge him.

Eliste smiled at the sight of the two loves of her life, then scooped up her night shift and moved into the bathing room to change. She emerged a moment later, shift covered by a robe and slipped under the covers before she removed the outer layer. Once settled, she held her arms out for the baby. She used the crib some, but mostly she preferred to have Follen with her.

"I wish I could have this image painted as a portrait." Fog said wistfully. "The two of you laying in bed like this." He stood at the edge of the bed, looking down on them, before sitting lightly at her side.

"I don't know that I would feel comfortable having someone paint me." Eliste flushed, then drew the covers up over both her and Follen so that she could nurse. It wasn't so much that she minded doing it around him. After all, Fog had been there for the birth. No, it was more the fact that they were still not married and even the smallest thing seemed a temptation to her.

He smiled again at her propriety and shifted slightly so she wouldn't feel under such close scrutiny. "When you start getting tired, let me know, and I'll leave." he promised, slipping further down onto the bed, his head resting above hers on the pillow. What it would be like when they finally settled on the Sungazer, he could only imagine. His life had changed so much in the past few months, more than he could have ever hoped.

Eliste tilted her head back and regarded him with a smile. "I'm tired, but I don't want you to leave." She couldn't wait for the day when he wouldn't _have_ to leave. When they wouldn't _have_ to be careful or proper or all of that nonsense.

He kissed her softly on her forehead, "I don't particularly _want_ to leave." he said quietly, "but for your sake madam I will. I don't want anything to spoil this last few sevendays for either of us." He enjoyed being here with her, he could feel his body beginning to unwind, and hoped she would feel sleepy before he started to doze off. He was feeling so content, he could easily get used to this. He raised his hand to his mouth as the attempt to stifle a yawn failed.

"How could you being here spoil it?" The only thing she was concerned about was giving in to temptation before it was proper. Ah, that's what it was. That's what would spoil it - what people thought. Marilea had done enough damage, though she was trying to undo it, without them adding fuel to the fire. "Oh, I see." The girl lowered her gaze. "If only things were different."

"You need to get drowsy soon, my love," he cautioned, stifling yet another yawn, "otherwise I won't be rising from your bed."

"I wouldn't complain." Eliste muttered softly, but closed her eyes. "But if you must go, I won't hold you back."

"I don't want to go, but if I stayed the whispers would deafen us." he warned, reluctantly pushing himself up from the bed. "Sleep well my love, and I will see you first thing in the morning. What would you like for breakfast?"

"It doesn't matter." Eliste opened her eyes and smiled at him. "As long as I can have it with you."

He bent low over the bed and bestowed a kiss on Follen's head before kissing Eliste softly, reigning in his passion as he did so. "Sleep well, love."

"Good night." She would see him in the morning and Eliste certainly took joy in looking forward to that.

Last updated on the September 29th 2008

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