Keeping an Old Man Company

Writers: Kaysea, Vix
Date Posted: 8th June 2007

Characters: Vaheri, Kartax
Description: Vaheri and Kartax discuss family and personal losses, aboard the Sungazer
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 4, day 15 of Turn 4

He sat looking out at the water as it glided by the side of the riverboat,
and thought of the previous times he had been back and forth along the same
route. More so in the past turn than before, more so since Hariana's
passing. He heaved a sigh, not unhappy, not sad, not even contented, just a
sigh. Boredom? Loneliness? He wasn't sure.

The only time he really spent with others these days was when he was on the
riverboat, or visiting his daughter and her family - his reason for being on
the riverboat.

He smiled, Jezz was one of the reasons he always chose the Sungazer. She
made him smile, often. She was of a similar age to his grandchildren, and
easy to talk to, since she was the friendliest of the children onboard. She
and the little one, what was her name? Linli, that was it. Linli was a
little more reserved, but the child was friendly enough.

The adults were, for the most part, busier and had less time to sit and talk
to an old man. He glanced up as a shadow fell across him.

"Vaheri!" he smiled warmly up at the woman, "You've finished for the day?"

"I have," she replied, handing him a cup of klah, another retained in her
other hand. "I thought I'd sit with you a while, though you look as if
you're thinking of going overboard."

"Not quite," he laughed, "I was just thinking of how many times in the last
turn I have been up and down this river; almost as many times as you have,
I'll be bound."

"Almost," she agreed, "but that's only in the last Turn. I've been up and
down this river most of my life."

"Okay, you win." he smiled, holding up a hand in surrender. He took a sip
of the klah, "Ah," he savoured the taste of it for a moment, "I didn't
realise I needed that." He looked up at Vaheri, "You going to sit, or just
hang around making the walkway look messy?"

She snorted derisively as she settled herself onto the bench next to his.
"There's not many who could say that to me and still be above the water."

"Maybe so, but I'd like to see you lift me over the rail." he chuckled and
took another sip of his klah. "Can I ask you something, Vaheri? It's a
little on the personal side..."

She nodded, her eyes focused on a distant point on the water. "You can ask .
. . but I might not answer."

He nodded in understanding, then coughing a little, he tried to ask without
emotion in his voice. "How long. . . how long did it take you to get over
losing your husband?"

Vaheri continued to stare over the water silently, turning that question
over in her mind, and then finally sighed. "Get over losing him? I can't say
that I've ever gotten over it. I've learned to accept and live without him,
but the loss of him is still always with me."

Kartax could understand that, well. He doubted he would ever get over the
loss of his wife, but surely the pain would ease? "And the pain? Do you
still feel it? I wonder if it will ever go from me." his voice choked in the
back of his throat.

She turned toward him, reaching to rub his upper arm. "It never leaves you,
not completely. But eventually it becomes a dull ache and you'll even be
able to enjoy some bits of life without saying 'I can't wait to tell her'
and having to remind yourself that you can't."

He turned watery eyes to her, "Thank Vaheri, I needed to hear that." He
rubbed his chest, "It's here, more so than here." he tapped his head, "She
will never leave me, but the pain, to know it will ease. That's a good
thing." He covered her hand with his, "It would have been fifty-five turns
this coming sevenday. Fifty-five turns together."

"Those days are difficult, the ones that mark the events of our time
together." She shook her head slightly. "Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't
be kinder to forget those dates, but they seem so much clearer now than in
the past."

"A reminder of what was." he nodded his head. "I will remember her on the
day. Remember the life we shared together. She is still with me, here." he
patted his heart again.

She nodded solemnly. "As it should be. Those we love should never be cast
aside."

"And what have you done with yourself since..?" Kartax asked, he was
intrigued by Vaheri, such a strong woman, a strong personality, but somehow
he sensed for the most part it was a front.

"I remained here, where his memory was strongest," she replied without
pause. "I could have retired shoreside, as many others have done. But I
needed to stay here, on the water, where the sound of the water lapping
against the hull reminds me of what I have and what I have had."

"Yes, I can understand that." Kartax nodded, "One of the reasons I haven't
joined my daughter and her family, is because I don't want to leave behind
what I shared with Hariana. I feel she is still there."

"That's where I'm lucky," she put in. "This is the home we knew together and
I'm surrounded by family."

"You _are_ fortunate in that." Kartax agreed, "My children moved far from
us, so if I wanted to be surrounded by family, I would have to move. And
split myself in three." he added, with a small chuckle.

"Had my daughter moved away, that probably would have broken me apart,"
Vaheri admitted. "The two of us shared the grief when her father died. She
was my strength, what carried me through that time. I can't imagine living
so far from family."

"Well that is why you see me along this route so often, its the only chance
I do get to see my children. From one small holding to another, I go." he
smiled, warmly. "And I have a pleasant trip every time."

She could not suppress the smile that statement brought. "We do our best to
have our passengers enjoy the trip as much as we do."

"Well I wouldn't keep coming back if you didn't." Kartax chuckled. "The
family always make me feel welcome."

"Good - that's what we like to hear." She rolled her shoulders to stretch
them and then rose to her feet. "I really need to get back to my work."

"I suppose you should. But I appreciate you keeping an old man company, at
least for a little while." Kartax drained his mug of klah, "Care for some
company as far as the stairs?"

"If you wish." She smiled at him and started slowly walking toward the far
end of the boat.

"This place is beginning to feel more like home every trip I make now." he
commented, watching the river flow past from the railing.

"It tends to do that," she agreed. "A person can take one trip and walk away
with only a memory, possibly even two trips with nothing more than that. But
travel the river a few times and it captures you, calling you back to it."

"Yes, that's true, and your family do a lot towards making that feeling
stronger."

"I thank you for that comment, Kartax, and will pass it along to the rest of
the family." She paused at the top of the stairs. "I'll take your mug with
me."

He passed her his mug, and smiled, "Thank you, Vaheri. Don't work too hard,
now." he smiled and turned away, for a brief time he hadn't been as lonely,
and definitely not as bored, that had to be a good thing.

Last updated on the July 18th 2007

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Keeping an Old Man Company