If Only...

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 5th June 2007

Characters: Benaroy, Zelanka
Description: Lord Benaroy congratulates a happy couple, and reflects on a wedding past...
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 4, day 5 of Turn 4

"Congratulations again, Minak," the Lord Holder smiled, giving the
beaming young man's hand another firm shake. "She is a real treasure,
to be sure."

"Thank you, sir," the journeyman smiled as he pulled his bride close.
"That she is."

"Well," Benaroy nodded to the pair, "Good luck to you both. Now if
you'll forgive me, these bones are too old to keep up with all you young
lovers."

"Thank you, sir, for coming," Minak's new wife courtsied prettily.

Benaroy gave them one final nod before turning back to the path that
would lead him to the Main Hold. It had always been his custom in turns
past to stop by the weddings of his Holders, no matter how grand or
small the affair. After all, weddings were happy occassions to be
celebrated! New beginnings, a moment to reflect on the joys of life,
the promise of children and a continued future for all... And Faranth
knew after the disasterous results of the Smith Hallmaster's wedding, he
needed to remind himself that there was some good to come from weddings
even yet. He paused and looked back over his shoulder a moment as he
heard one of the lads pull out an instrument and begin a few bars of an
old favorite tune.

Yes, Benaroy loved weddings. Some still remained in his spotted memory.
One in particular was crystal clear...

~*~*~*~*~

"Well, Petriv, do you mind if I steal you new wife for a dance?" Benaroy
asked, holding his arm out to the fresh young bride. "I promise I will
return her to you."

"Of curse you can, My lord," The beastcrafter replied generously. "She
probably values your dancing skills more than mine," he added. Zelanka
gave him a scolding glance, although he had treaded _thrice_ to her toes
during the wedding walz.

"I promise I will bring her back unharmed, but that is all I can say for
my dancing," Benaroy chuckled, offering the young woman his arm. "If
you'll permit me, Zelanka?"

"Of course, Mylord," Zelanka said shyly and curtisied. She cast a
longing look towards her new husband. These formalities were trying her
patience. She waited for the wedding night, both anxiously and
nervously at the
same time. She never done anything more than a kiss with a man before.

"I hear you are to be congratulated, Zelanka. Not just for your
wedding," the Lord Holder quickly added as he took her hand and wrapped
his fingers around her slender waist. "I hear you have been accepted to
help our Headwoman as an assistant! She speaks quite highly of you, you
know."

"Thank you, Milord." Zelanka actually blushed. She wasn't used to
dealing with him.

"Of course, I hope that you won't jump straight into your new duties
with too much enthusiasm. I hope you and Petriv can take some time to
adjust to your new lives together." And with any luck, a new member to
the family would be a result of some of that... adujusting...

"I'm sure we will take all the time we need," Zelanka replied, feeling a
pleasant flutter of excitement on her belly.

Benaroy smiled and nodded his understanding. He had been young and in
love once... "He's a good man. Your parents would be proud of you."

"Yes...," Zelanka replied, with now so familiar sadness and longing
overtook her. She wondered if it would ever go away.

Benaroy understood that feeling. It was a pain that was all too
familiar for him as well. "Forgive me, Zelanka. Perhaps I stirred up
memories you would rather not think of today."

"No need to," Zelanka quickly replied. "This is exactly the day to
remember them."

He nodded, giving her an apologetic smile. "You know, I lost loved ones
too... Well, I suppose everyone did," he amended. Seemed there wasn't a
family that wasn't touched by the Plague. "But I know you lost
everyone. I lost everyone too. But we can build our families again,
build a new life for ourselves again, and by doing so I believe we honor
our loved ones we have lost. I know that probably sounds like sugary
harper's dribble, but I have found that to be true. There is healing in
starting a new life, Zelanka. I hope you can find that with Petriv.
Truly, I hope that for you."

"Thank you , my lord," Zelanka said softly. She hoped that too. She
wanted to have children, lot of children, that never grew up lonely like
she had after her parents died.

"And I know they'd be proud of your choice," he said, nodding towards
her new groom. "You have found yourself a very good man, Zelanka. And
I think he has found himself the perfect partner for his new life too."

"I think that too," Zelanka said with rosy blush and cast a loving gaze
towards Petriv. If only she had know it then how it turned out!

~*~*~*~*~

Benaroy sighed as he turned to walk back down the path towards his Hold.
If only he could have seen the future. But who would have guessed?
The marriage that had started with such shining promise had soon shown
itself to be merely a fascade to hide a dirty secret. Though she and
Petriv lived a happy life together, Benaroy knew the truth, better than
most. Zelanka had deserved so much more. She had deserved a _real_
husband, not one in name only. And yet, he took a guilty comfort in
their marriage, for as long as she belonged to Petriv, she truly
belonged to no man, and as painful as their seperation had been, as
bitter sweet as it still sometimes was, at least he could rest in the
knowledge that no man had taken his place...

Last updated on the July 18th 2007

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