Inadequate

Writers: Ainsley1, Eimi
Date Posted: 7th June 2007

Characters: Nimroy, Benaroy
Description: Nimroy meets with Benaroy intent on discussing one matter only to leave pondering a different one
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 4, day 15 of Turn 4

"Father," Nimroy greeted politely as he entered the
garden where they had agreed to meet. "Thank you for
taking time from your schedule, I know things are
still particularly busy with settling those from
Amethyst Cliffs."

Benaroy stood to his feet and give his son a once
over. He had put on a pound or since last he saw him.
It was amazing how they could live in
the same Hold all these Turns and yet rarely really
see each other. "Well, Nimroy, I'm here. Was there
something on your mind that couldn't be discussed
indoors?" It's not that he minded the fresh air, but
Benaroy was always a little wary when his son asked
for a special meeting alone.

"No father," Nimroy replied tightly, "I just thought
with all of the time both of us spend on
administrative duties, perhaps some fresh air would do
us both some good. I apologize if the location has
put you out. I was hoping to discuss your canceling
the trade meetings that we had planned at Sapphire
Meadows. I understand that there is a great deal
going on of late and though Ailaya is near her time to
deliver, I still believe this to be an important
endeavor and believe you should reconsider."

Ah ha! He _knew_ it had to be something! His son
wouldn't drag him all the way out here just for a
pleasant chat. "That's what this is about?
Your wonderlust?"

Nimroy's jaw clamped shut and he turned his head to
keep his father from seeing the anger in his eyes. He
respected this man, more than any other, but few were
able to bring him to anger as quickly and he did not
believe he was as apt to disagree with anyone else on
Pern.

Gaining some control the diplomat in him continued,
meeting his father's gaze once more, "My love of
travel has nothing to do with this," he answered
quietly, "There was a great deal of time an effort put
into arranging this, and I am not speaking of my own.
You are the one that is always imploring me to put the
Hold first. That is what I am trying to do here.
Though our family and our Hold has been through much
of late, and certainly they would understand our
rescheduling, I believe this is an opportunity to
demonstrate our strength and perseverance, as well as
establish more beneficial trade agreements."

Nimroy was a skilled politician, which was part of the
reason he had always been sent on such missions. But
Benaroy was not about to be taken in by that silver
tongue, not when he was the one who taught the
boy everything he knew about diplomacy. "Any man who
knows me like the Lord Holder of Sapphire Meadows
knows my Hold is _not_ weak. There will be no
difference if the trade meetings are conducted now, or
a few sevendays from now. You have duties here at
home and I will not let you shirk them."

Somehow the older man always had a way of making
Nimroy feel as if he were six turns old and stealing
bubbly pies. "Exactly which duties are you referring
to?" he queried fighting to keep the anger from his
voice.

Benaroy certainly couldn't make his son take an
interest in his young wife. After all, the only thing
his son ever took an interest in was
getting away from Amber Hills! But sure as Thread
falls downwards he wasn't going to promote such
childish behavior in his own son! "Your wife is about
to bare a child. Her _first_ child. And you _will_
be there by her side!"

For a moment Nimroy was struck dumb. He blinked and
was undoubtedly not fast enough to hide the surprised
expression on his face. Having assumed his father was
referring to Hold matters instead of more personal,
family ones he was thoroughly taken aback. Although
he tried to be a decent husband and felt he treated
Ailaya well and fairly, he had to admit to not being
the most considerate mate. Theirs had not been a love
match and quite honestly the woman, though pleasant
enough to look at, held little interest for him.

"I thought you would prefer I keep my focus more on
_Hold_ matters and less on those of a personal
nature," he finally answered weakly. "Ailaya has
always understood that I must work to do what is best
for the Hold. This is a woman's, well, that is to
say, there does not appear to be much I can do...she
doesn't seem to require my presence," the younger man
continued for once dropping his confident air and
allowing a hint of confusion to filter through.

Well, this was certainly awkward. Benaroy was used to
dealing with stubborn, defiant, resentful Nimroy, but
this situation called for a more sensitive fatherly
approach. With his other sons it was easy to be a
father and a mentor to them, but Nimile's eldest
son... His wife had said they were too alike and too
competitive to see eye to eye. It had been turns
since Benaroy had to show his son the softer side of
fatherhood. "Well... You are needed," the Lord
Holder finally mumbled, clearing his throat and trying
to gain his composure. When he had this
talk with Royan, Benaran and Royah, it seemed to have
gone so smoothly. He and Nimroy though... "You might
not understand now, but you will."

Nimroy gave his father a puzzled look and struggled
within himself. It had been turns, many turns, since
he had looked to his father for advice. However he
hated to think he was being neglectful. "Is there
something I should be doing?" he finally ventured to
ask ignoring his pride.

Benaroy honestly didn't know. He had no idea what
Nimroy had already _done_. In fact, he had no idea if
his son was excited about the child, or nervous; if he
loved his wife or just put up with her... "She will
need a lot of support," he finally said, not meeting
his son's gaze for fear that Nimroy could read his
ignorance in his eyes. "She's probably
nervous even if she's excited. When she's having the
baby she might be afraid, for sure she'll be
exhausted. She'll need you to help her through that.
And after the baby's born she'll need a lot of
patience. She'll be unbalanced for a while as her body
resets itself. She'll need help with the baby of
course. Basically, she just really needs you to
be there and involved." That was something the Lord
Holder couldn't always claim he had done for his
wives. He had Amber Hills to keep from falling in on
itself. But Benaroy always had hoped for more for his
children.

Nimroy swallowed hard. There appeared to be more to
this than he had anticipated. If he were honest, he
had always given more time and effort to his own
interests and pursuits. What his father described
sounded complex and difficult and he wistfully thought
of the trade journey that his father was definitely
not
going to agree to.

Far from comfortable in having this discussion with
his father, Nimroy decided this was completely too
personal and awkward. He squared his shoulders and
cleared his throat before responding, "Well, given all
that, perhaps it is better I stay closer to Amber
Hills for a time, though I really hate to miss out on
opportunities which could benefit the Hold," he
conceded giving Benaroy quite possibly the easiest
victory he'd had from his son in some time.

Benaroy could hardly feel as though he had won. In
fact, this entire meeting was leaving him with an
annoying feeling of failure and inadaquecy. "Yes,
well, I think that's a good idea. Sapphire Meadows
can wait a few sevendays."

Nimroy just nodded trying to figure out where exactly
this discussion had gotten off course, because he was
feeling thoroughly unsettled. Not only had he not
accomplished his goal, but now he was seriously having
to reconsider his role as a husband and he had a
dreadful sense of impending doom.

Last updated on the June 10th 2007

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Inadequate