Naked Honesty

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 17th April 2007

Characters: B'ram, Traelyn
Description: B'ram and Traelyn make a few more admissions to one another, and Traelyn's admission unsettles B'ram.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 3, day 2 of Turn 4
Notes: Follows "Answer Enough"

B'ram

}:B'ram. B'ram.:{ Girifith's gentle call filtered into his rider's drowsy mind. }:The sun is almost up. It's time to get up now. It's time for you to leave.:{ The brownrider slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at the ceiling and knew it in an instant to be Traelyn's. Shards, since when did the morning come so early? He couldn't have slept more than a candlemark. But he could not delay the day by wishing. It wasn't just sleep that kept B'ram rooted to that spot. It was the fingers entwined with his own, the cheek resting on his chest, and the hairs that spread like a blanket across his stomach, tickling his skin every time he took a breath. Part of him always hating that moment when Trae would wake up and leave his bed, leaving a cold empty spot where her warm body had just occupied.

But light brought truth, and as truthful as they had been the night before, he wasn't sure if facing the morning together wold be such a good idea. They just didn't _do_ that. Then again, that had done a lot of things they had never done that night. They had actually _talked_ about their relationship. They had _forgiven_ each other. They had made love with their eyes open and not hiding from the reality of who was sharing their bed. Were they really ready for more change? This relationship was seeming more and more like something honest, and he just wasn't sure he was ready for that.

Carefully he released her fingers and slowly reached out to grab a pillow from behind his head. Gently he lifted up just enough to put it behind him so that as he rolled out from under her, the pillow would catch her. He moved slowly, very slowly, trying hard not to wake her. Finally he slipped off the bed and had both feet planted firmly on the cool stone floor. He found his shirt in the living area and followed the trail backwards into the bedroom, dressing as he went. B'ram decided it would be best to carry his boots rather than risk making a noise that would wake her.

He hesitated before slipping out the door. With a thoughtful frown he quietly stole back towards the bed and grabbed the top of the sheet that had been kicked down towards the bottom of the bed. It had been a hot night and they had warmed each other as they slept, but now there was no warm body to snuggle into. He lifted the sheet up and slowly covered her legs, her back, and tucked it up under her chin. B'ram tenderly wiped the hairs from her face. Then he did something else he had never really done before. He looked at her. He watched her for a few moments as she breathed in and out, her lips slightly parted, her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful. So sharding beautiful. When they had been young, not even yet weyrlings, he would dream of such a scene. He could just imagine Trae wrapped up in a sheet, looking so... perfect. Shards. She still had it. That silent, irresistible and undefinable effect on a man that she had just by _being_. It was enough to take his breath away.

}:The sun, B'ram,:{ Girifith reminded him.

B'ram nodded in silent response and bent his head to kiss her cheek softly. "Good night Trae," he whispered before picking up his boots and tiptoeing towards the door.

"...B'ram?"

The brownrider nearly dropped his boots in surprise as he stopped in the doorway. He slowly, guiltily turned back around to face her. She had accused him of being a coward when he had snuck out of her weyr before...
"Yeah?"

Slowly she raised herself up on her forearms, propping them up on the pillow, her skin gleaming pale gold against the white linens. Her dark eyes met his, and even though they were still cloudy with the haze of sleep, they were becoming clearer, sharper. But her expression wasn't accusing. How could it be, after last night? And because of what they had shared last night... Shards, Traelyn didn't want him to leave her. Not now. "You don't have to go."

B'ram hesitated, unsure of how to respond to that. **I don't?** Usually they were relieved in some way for the night to be over. What did she want him to do? Make love to her again? Snuggle? Talk? "All right..." He set his boots by the door and waited for some sign of what it was he was expected to do now. This was unchartered territory for them.

Traelyn shifted self-consciously, suddenly not sure if he'd actually wanted to leave her or not. Just because she wanted him here didn't mean that he wanted to stay with her. "Unless you want to leave," she amended quietly, not really looking into his face--and she mentally cursed herself for her cowardice.

Shards, this was turning awkward in record time. "No, not really. I mean, unless you want to sleep then I can go. Or I can stay and sleep."
**Shell cracks and crack dust, B'ram, just _do_ something already! Stop standing there like a sharding weyrling leaving his first woman!** He moved back towards the bed and perched on the side. "Are you awake? Or do you want to sleep more?"

Traelyn didn't think she could fall back to sleep even if she wanted to. "I'm awake."

B'ram was at a loss. He didn't know what to do. She didn't want to sleep, so that left sex or talking. He wasn't sure he'd have the strength for more sex, but he wasn't so sure they could actually hold a conversation either. Shards, but this was going to be awkward... Though he stripped his shirt off and threw it back down into a pile, he decided to leave his pants on. He was pretty sure Trae would tell him what was expected of him now.

Shards. Maybe she should have just let him leave. But after the admissions they'd made last night, it would have felt so sharding wrong if he'd slunk away with the fading shadows. She felt like they were beyond that. But now that he was staying, she was at just as much of a loss at what they could do as he was. Traelyn stared at his back, at the muscles that bunched in his shoulders as he turned his head to look down at her. She reached out then, gently trailing the tips of her fingers lightly down his spine as a slight smile curved her lips. "You loved me last night, B'ram. And I made love to you. To _you_." Her eyes flickered to his. "Not to anyone else. Not to a memory. Do you really think the mornings will bring to light truths we already don't already know about each other?" Her tone wasn't accusing, but it was soft, serious. "We don't have any more excuses to slink away when the sun rises. What is there left to hide?"

B'ram sighed as he lay back on the bed beside her. "I'm not hiding anything. It's just..." Shards, he might as well get it out in the open now. It might confuse things even more, but it's not like he could just _forget_ her... "There's a woman I've been kind of seeing. Eleada. I don't know how she fits into... all this..."

Resting her chin on her arms, she looked at him. "All of this?"

"Well, you know, you and me. Since it is pretty obvious now there is _some_ kind of you and me." Shards, just when he thought their relationship couldn't be more twisted... "Let's face it, whatever _we_
are it's... unconventional. We're lovers, but not friends, and yet we know each other better than most friends or lovers ever do. What are we? Is this all we can have, or is there still room for something more?"

Her smile was wry. "You mean love?"

He shook his head. "It's way too soon for that." **But... yeah...**

She snorted softly.

"I mean loving _her_, Trae. Or do you think I am no longer capable of loving a woman." **In the normal sense...**

Traelyn blinked. "You mean loving Eleada?"

He looked away, not wanting to see the scorn or doubt in her face. Shards, he had been so sure Eleada could be the one who could bring him back. The way she could make him feel... It was just so familiar. It was just like falling in love. But if he was truly falling in love with Eleada, how could Trae still have such a hold on him? "Nevermind."

"I don't know what you want me to say, B'ram," she told him quietly. "I'm at just as much of a loss as you are, asking the same questions."

His head turned back towards her as his eyes met hers curiously. "The _same_ ones?" Did Trae have a man on her mind too?

Uncomfortable under his sudden scrutiny, she shifted, long hair drifting down her shoulders to hide her eyes from his. Looking down, she picked at the pillow's seam, her thoughts turning inward. "Yeah."

He rolled over onto his side to face her and smoothed the hair back from her face. She didn't really think she could start hiding things from him _now_, did she? "Who is he?" B'ram asked as his hand came to settle naturally on her hip.

She hesitated, glanced up at him. And since she didn't see anything but curiosity in his eyes, she murmured, "You've seen him before. You said he was too good for the likes of me."

"Your bronzerider friend?" B'ram remembered. But that had been before...
When they were still trying to hurt each other. _Trying_ to try to hurt each other, at least. Shards, things had taken a turn that night.

Traelyn nodded, slender fingers once again plucking at the pillow's seam, but nervously this time instead of absently. Her feelings towards U'kaiah the last time they'd seen each other had been a little more than just friendly, and that sharding confused her.

Traelyn being shy to talk about a lover? She didn't used to be so uncertain. Shards, she used to look him straight in the eye and silently dare him to tell her she was wrong to bed whoever she felt like. "Does he feel the same?"

"The same as what?"

B'ram resisted the urge to snort. He had never seen Trae _this_ naked before. "The way you feel for him. Does he love you?"

Her fingers curled around the pillow. Tightly. "Shards, B'ram, I don't know. I think does, but as friends love. Not as...as lovers do." Her dark eyes were hard when they flickered to his. "And that used to be enough. Sharding more than enough. But..." Clamping her jaw shut, she shook her head, suddenly afraid. She'd said too much out loud. Now she could never take back those words. **Do I want to?** She shied away from that thought.

He wasn't so sure he liked her being this honest with him. It was obvious she was having as hard of a time talking about it as he was having listening to it. B'ram rolled her over onto her back, placing one hand firmly on each side of her. He looked down into her deep grey eyes, and what he saw there was unsettling. She seemed way too soft and much too vulnerable. B'ram could learn to like that Trae, and that was something he was just not ready for. He had been her L'kub. He didn't want to have to be her friend too. His body slowly pressed into her as he brought his lips close to hers, not quite touching, but close enough that she could feel the breath from his lips. It was a silent invitation, one he knew she'd understand.

Closing her eyes, she tangled her fingers almost fiercely into his hair as she pulled his mouth the rest of the way down on hers...and accepted his offer.

Last updated on the April 17th 2007

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Naked Honesty