I'm Sorry

Writers: Bree, Dana
Date Posted: 21st February 2007

Characters: Shayla, T'voal
Description: The couple finally comes to a hesitant understanding
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 2, day 1 of Turn 4

T'voal bit his tongue for three long sevendays while he and Shayla moved about their weyr like strangers. He thought if he gave her enough time, she might be willing to talk to him about what had happened. It wasn't until somewhere in the third sevenday that he realized she might never bring the subject up on her own. Not if she kept rolling over and pretending to be asleep every time he came to bed.

For another few days she avoided his attempts to talk. Frustration finally led him to corner her in the bathing pool when he managed to get free from drills a little earlier than he'd expected. Instead of giving her fair warning, he crept into the bathing chamber and leaned against the door. "I don't want to jump in fully clothed and try to keep you from running away, but I will if it's the only way you'll talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," came her flat reply as she lathered up her hands to scrub on her hair. Maybe if she kept busy, he would take the hint and go away.

"You've been avoiding me for nearly a month, Shayla." T'voal slid down the wall and sat on the floor just inside the doorway. "Considering that we live together, that took a lot of effort. Do you want to just keep doing it forever?"

Looking down, she watched the foam from her hands drift on the water. Shayla knew it'd been almost childish to ignore him the way she had been, but shards! She'd been so angry...and that anger had eventually turned into icy resentment. It was an ugly feeling, and she didn't like it. But she couldn't help that. It wasn't like he'd made efforts to talk to her before now either! **But now he _is_ making the effort,** the reasonable part of her mind whispered. Keeping her eyes trained on the water, she shook her head.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I didn't think more carefully about what I was doing. And I'm sorry I acted condescending to you about it."

Shayla looked up, her expression vaguely surprised. She hadn't thought he'd apologize so quickly to her. She shifted in the water, drifting closer to the other end of the pool--closer to where he was. Then she propped her chin up on the edge, meeting his eyes. "Do you want to join me?" she asked quietly, knowing that it wasn't quite an "It's all right"...but it was as close as she could come to it right now.

T'voal smiled gently and leaned forward to offer a hand to her. "More than anything, but are you sure you don't want to talk _before_ you let me into the bathing pool with you?" Being ignored as he lay next to her at night had given him a good taste of frustration.

Well, if he wouldn't come in... Wrapping her fingers around his, she pushed herself out of the water with her other hand--and completely ignoring the fact that she was naked and wet and would probably get his clothes wet too, she nestled against his body. A part of her, though, still wasn't completely okay with everything, and her expression was unreadable as she stared down at their hands. "I'm not Weyrbred, T'voal,"
she told him quietly. "But I'm doing my best to adapt. And it's hard. And...and I don't think I'll ever be able to look at sex as casually as you do. I'm not all that sure I want to."

His arms slid around her without the slightest concern for the state of his clothing. "So I'll remember that from now on. And... we can try to have an understanding. The most important thing is to talk about it, Shayla."

She rested her cheek on his shoulder. "When you're dealing with emotions you've never felt before...it's hard to talk."

T'voal kissed the top of her head. "I know, sweetheart. But you can talk to me about anything."

She wasn't sure...but shards, she wanted to trust him again. "Okay," she whispered.

He smiled. "Why don't you get back in the water, and I'll join _you_ this time?" And maybe they could forget the last month and try to move forward.
Somehow.

Last updated on the February 24th 2007

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I'm Sorry