I've Broken Her!
Dragonsfall Weyr
Amber Hills Hold
Vintner Hall
Healer Hall
Hidden Meadows
Dolphin Cove Weyr
Dolphin Hall
Emerald Falls Hold
Harper Hall
Printer Hall
Green Valley Hold
Leeward Lagoon Hold
Barrier Lake Weyr
Sunstone Seahold
Citrus Bay Hold
Writers: Bree, Eimi
Date Posted: 13th February 2007
Characters: Shalai
Description: Shalai goes a little crazy when Dwarkanath strikes up a conversation.
Location: Elsewhere on Pern
Date: month 2, day 7 of Turn 4
Notes: WHOOPS! This was supposed to go out BEFORE "The Dashing Hero Saves the Day" and probably makes it make a LOT more sense. ;) Stupid Bree!
With the knowledge of her husband's death sustaining her, Shalai managed to cling to the tatters of her peace of mind when the voices started that morning. Just one really, quiet and gentle and non-threatening enough that she tried to ignore it at first. But the more she tried not to concentrate on it, the more she found herself unable to block it out. It was like trying _not_ to think about something--the harder she tried, the more her mind kept drifting back. It grew worse when a second voice joined the first. Her brow furrowed as her fingers tightened around her glass, but that warm confidence that had come with the news of Yanthi's death steadied her again. The healers had been thrilled at how much calmer she'd seemed after the initial shock wore off, perhaps because she hadn't admitted to them that she still heard voices and saw people who weren't there. Yanthi mocked her every day, but she ignored him now that he could no longer hurt her.
The voices, though... shards, she _couldn't_ ignore the voices. And while they weren't as painful and upsetting as they usually were, she could feel the tension in her shoulders. Eventually her nerves would snap, and she'd be drugged and restrained and have to start all over...
**Please stop talking. Please just... stop.**
}:I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I am talking to my friend.:{ the voice replied.
Shalai froze, gripping the table with both hands as her world shifted in a few moments. Those invisible voices had _never_ spoken to her before.
Her eyes slid around the room again, searching for anyone who could have been the source of the reply. "Why are you talking to me?" she whispered, not sure if she really wanted a response.
}:Because you talked to me.:{ It was terribly logical and made no sense to her. "But you've never talked to me before..." }:I've never been here before.:{ The other people in the room were so used to Shalai talking to empty air that no one was paying her any attention as she turned slowly. "Do I know you?" Most of the voices that spoke to here were memories from the past... usually bad ones. }:No we have never met before. I am outside if you want to meet me.:{ "Outside?" Her head turned toward the window before she could stop herself. **There's no one there. There's never anyone there. Stop talking to them, and they'll stop talking to you.** It was what the healers always told her, but they always seemed so _real_ that it was hard to follow their instructions.
}:But _I'm_ here,;{ the voice stated simply.
The hint of familiar panic slithered through her as she pushed herself slowly to her feet. "It's not possible," she snapped, loudly enough that one or two heads turned in her direction. She ignored them, taking a few hesitant steps in the direction of the door. She'd be stopped before she reached the main entryway, but maybe she could convince one of the healers to let her outside...
But if they were outside, how could she hear them? She swayed to a stop again, feeling confused. **You hear them because you're crazy,** she told herself harshly. **Just like you see people who aren't here.**
}:But I'm not people. I'm dragon.:{ The voice sounded almost amused as his drifted through her mind.
Shalai didn't even feel her knees give out. Far more painful was the almost audible snap of her nerves failing. Dragons. Her mind was so shattered that she was hearing _dragons_ now. She slapped her hands over her ears as hysterical laughter gave way to sobs. **Just let me die, I don't want to be this crazy... shards, just _let me die!_** }:M'galec! M'galec, hurry! I've broken her!:{ the bronze called to his rider. There was a pause before the next reply. }:The woman I am talking to. I think she's dying! Please hurry!:{ The healers came like they always did, gentle hands wrapping around her wrists and pulling her hands from her face, a strong hand cradling her head while someone else coaxed her to drink. She did so eagerly, not fighting them for once. She wanted the oblivion that came with the drugged water. If only it was poison...
Last updated on the February 17th 2007