More Than Just a Warm Body (2/2)

Writers: Devin, Dana
Date Posted: 7th February 2007

Characters: N'vanik, Traelyn
Description: N'vanik pays a visit to Traelyn, trying to find something that's missing in his life.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 2, day 7 of Turn 4

N'vanik

Slowly Traelyn traced soft circles on his chest, swirling on up and around then back down to his navel, following no set pattern. Usually this was the time when she would initiate playful banter with her partner--unless the man with her was B'ram--or initiate another round of sex. And usually being with N'vanik had been like that as well. But this time...shards, it had been different. Something between them had changed.

Shifting, she settled herself more comfortably against his side, resting her head on his shoulder, shoving her feet underneath the bunched covers at the foot of the bed, letting the balmy air hit her bare skin, drying the prespiration. Then she resumed trailing caresses over his body, wondering at him--and wondering if he wanted to be the one to speak first.

A calm smile curled his lips as he enjoyed her fingers trailing over his skin. It had been what he needed --something beyond just the satisfaction of sex. There had always been something more between him and Trae. He leaned down to kiss her, softly, and brushed his hand along her spine.

"I liked it," she murmured when their lips parted, and she gave him a smile, dark eyes flickering with a bit of her usual humor. "Very much."

"Me too," he said. "Well worth the trip."

She grinned, resting her head back down on his shoulder. "Maybe in a little while, we can do it again." She certainly wouldn't mind. Shards, it felt so good to just be with a man and not feel any stabs of guilt--for anything.

"Yeah." He ran his fingers through her hair. It couldn't be more different than the aftermath with Abrei. He hadn't lied to himself. He didn't feel regret or guilt-- other than a small pang at leaving Talryne to spend half his restday with someone else. He didn't feel like he'd cheated, either.
The way he felt about Trae was different than the way he felt about Tal, and in some ways, that made Trae more safe. "The last time I was here, when I cried all over you -- it helped."

Gently she brushed her cheek against him. That night she'd seen a vulnerability in him--something that she'd never seen so openly before. "I'm glad I could be there," she replied quietly. And she was. Shards, he'd been there for her; all those times he had taken her out of the Weyr when she had desperately needed to get away... Those times, and that night when he cried in her arms, spoke of a trust they had. It was different than the trust she and U'kaiah shared in some ways. And it was a trust she was just beginning to understand.

"And this helped, too." He hadn't needed a connection like this before, caring about someone he slept with. He'd ended the relationships that started getting too close. But things were different now. "Have things gotten better here?"

"Better?" Her smile was wry as she thought about B'ram--of their warped relationship. "Shards, N'vanik...I don't know."

"You wanna talk about it?" he asked.

"And ruin a perfectly wonderful evening?" she asked, trying for a bit of dry humor. Really, there was nothing funny about what she and B'ram did to each other on a regular basis, but it was easier for Traelyn to hide behind humor and laughs, sarcasm and lies, than to confront it.

He shrugged a shoulder. "Thought it might help to talk. You keep pretending you're okay--" It was a bad word choice and it brought up images of Abrei again.

She winced. Shards. That was far too close to home. Shifting, she sat up, wrapping her arms tightly around her knees. "Pretending is better than accepting that you're screwed and wallowing in self pity...in depression," she replied quietly. "I've been depressed before, N'vanik. It's not something I want to experience again."

"Yet another thing we have in common," he said quietly. Shards, he hadn't wanted to upset her. He sat up, facing her. "Although I suppose pretending is better than trying to drink it away."

Traelyn smiled a little at that. "Drinking can soften the edge. But I found better addictions." Like sex. And she still turned to sex like some people turned to alcohol to drown their troubles. Her expression turned slightly rueful--slightly apologetic--when she finally raised her eyes to his. She hadn't wanted to bring them both down.

"Maybe we should talk about something else, or maybe not talk at all." N'vanik shifted behind her and began kissing her shoulder. "I don't have to pretend while I'm here, and that's what matters."

"Mmmmhmm." Pretend? She reached behind her and ran her fingers through his hair, tilting her head slightly to the side to give him better access to that rather sensitive area. "Foreplay is a nice way to pass the time, I think."

He drew her hair aside as his lips moved to her neck, and then up to her ear. "Mmmhmm."

As she settled his arms around her middle, she wondered. Pretend? Pretend about what? She turned her head to press her cheek against his shoulder, sliding her lips along his skin. Did he need to wear a mask when he was with Talryne? Was it too much of an effort to keep on staying positive for her? To keep on taking care of her? Traelyn didn't really know what their situation was, and N'vanik didn't seem keen on telling her much about it.

Her fingers locked with his, and she raised his arm to press a kiss on the inside of his wrist. But if he didn't want to talk about that yet, it was okay. She certainly wouldn't press him, just like he never pressed her. A small smile curved her lips. Perhaps they both knew each other better than they thought they did. Shifting around in his arms, she looked up at him, dark eyes searching his. "No, N'vanik," she murmured softly, tracing a gentle finger along his scar, "you don't have to pretend with me."

N'vanik looked down at her for a moment, his hands stilled. He couldn't have Talryne, not the way he wanted to. But he could have Trae, and that was something, maybe more than something. He bent and kissed her, letting his problems fade away and hoping she could do the same. With her, he didn't need to lie, to pretend.

This was real.

Last updated on the February 9th 2007

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More Than Just a Warm Body (2/2)