Meant For Another (2): Trying To Pretend

Writers: Devin, Bree
Date Posted: 5th January 2007
Series: Saving Each Other

Characters: N'vanik, Abrei
Description: Things go about as well as can be expected between N'vanik and Abrei after their adventure in make-believe.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 26 of Turn 4

N'vanik

Abrei

By the time N'vanik stilled against her, Abrei had forgotten all thoughts of pretend or lies or how wrong it was to be stretched out in her cousin's bed with N'vanik. She'd forgotten everything except for the slide of skin against skin and pleasure. Foolishly, she'd even forgotten that the man above her had meant every last one of his tender, skillful touches for someone else.

**Oh, shards. That was so stupid,** N'vanik thought as his head began to clear. He wanted to get out of there now and forget this ever happened. But he stayed where he was, afraid that if he moved, Abrei would say something. Talking was the last thing he wanted.

Staying still didn't buy him any reprieve, however. Abrei opened her eyes slowly, her gaze finding N'vanik's. "You're a sharding liar," she said, her voice sounding tired. "You're in love with my cousin."

N'vanik groaned. "I am not!" So much for hoping she wouldn't talk.

Abrei made a rude noise. "Why should I believe you? I just got to see how good you are at lying to yourself."

He rolled off her and sat up. "Oh, and what about you? You didn't seem to mind being used."

She flinched visibly at the words and curled up on her side. "I had a lot harder time pretending than you did."

The flinch was satisfying. "What were you trying to pretend?"

"None of your business," Abrei snapped. If he was going to lie, she didn't feel any pressing need to tell the truth.

N'vanik moved to the end of the bed and searched the floor for his pants. "What's the matter? Someone not giving you the right attention at home?"

She was getting plenty of attention at home. And it made her sick to her stomach to know that the only time anyone had touched her with any real emotion had been when they were carefully pretending she was someone else. Feeling far too vulnerable, Abrei pushed the conversation back to N'vanik's weak spot. "I'll tell you that when you tell me how long you've been in love with Talryne for."

"I am _not_ in love with her!" He didn't like to consider that confusing and frightening possibility. Locating his pants, he quickly pulled them on. "This was a bad idea."

Abrei slid to the edge of the bed and found her own tunic. "Well, if you have sex with her like that, she sharding well is going to think you are. So maybe it's a good thing you're still sneaking off with other people instead."

"Stop talking about her." He thought about making an escape now. The pants were enough, he didn't need his shirt. But Abrei would win if she chased him off.

"I'll do no such thing," Abrei snapped, tying the laces on her tunic with impatient fingers. She would have been happier if he _had_ run...
the radical change from thoughtful lover to aggressive enemy was leaving her off-balance. "You're obviously not going to think about it unless someone makes you, and you certainly need to be thinking."

"Oh, now you're going to tell me what to do!" N'vanik bent and came up with his shirt, balling it in his hand. "It was just one roll, sweetheart. That doesn't make you my weyrmate."

Abrei's voice turned scathing. "Obviously. You've already _got_ one."

N'vanik grit his teeth. "She's a _guest_."

"Fine. Who am I to argue with someone who _obviously_ is so in touch with his feelings." Abrei jerked her pants on and turned her back on him.

"And you are? You show up to see your cousin, and end up sleeping with me. What kind of motivation was behind that?"

Abrei laughed bitterly. "Oh, I _know_ I'm a mess. I was the next thing to virginal a turn ago and now I'm falling into bed with men like you left and right. But at least I admit that I don't know what in Faranth's name I'm doing." N'vanik snorted. "I don't know what I'm doing either."

"Well, maybe you should figure it out, then." Abrei glanced back up at him, her face suddenly serious. "You can deny it all you want, but you've got feelings that are a lot more than friendly. And if that's really upsetting to you, maybe you need to do something about it before someone gets hurt."

He looked away. "I'm not going to hurt her." But he wondered if he already had. That tenderness had been meant for Talryne, and he'd given it to someone else. He'd had sex to get back at people, or to make them jealous, but this was the first time he felt like he'd _cheated_ on someone. And she'd said she trusted him. **Shards, how am I going to face Tal?**

"Fine." Abrei sat back down on the edge of the bed to pull her shoes on. "Can you at least tell me why she won't let me see her?"

"She thinks you'll make things worse," he answered. And Talryne was right.

Abrei's shoulder's stiffened and she struggled to keep the hurt from her face. "She didn't say that," she said, her confident words contradicted by the look in her eyes. "You're making that up."

"No, I'm not. She said you're bad with feelings and she's worried you'll make things worse." He kept his eyes on her face as he added, "She practically begged me not to let you in." Okay, that was an exaggeration, but he felt like being mean.

His jab struck home with deadly accuracy, and Abrei flinched back as if he'd hit her. Not trusting that the dim light would be enough to hide her tears, she turned away from him. "Well, she's lucky she has you to protect her then. Why don't you go and do that."

From her reaction, he thought she might be crying, and that made him feel even worse. **You've done a fantastic job today, N'vanik.** Stuck between dealing with crying Abrei and slinking back to Talryne, he chose slinking. "Fine. I will." Not even bothering to look for his boots, he marched toward the sleeping room door.

Last updated on the January 6th 2007

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Meant For Another (2): Trying To Pretend