Secrets

Writers: Yvonne
Date Posted: 24th July 2006

Characters: Firsa
Description: Firsa takes a moment to wonder just what the heck she's getting herself into
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 2 of Turn 3
Notes: Follows 'Tentative'.

M4 d6 Turn 2 I'm so excited! I know I shouldn't, but I'm meeting K'far, that brownrider I met on the beach, after dinner tonight. I've made up an excuse for Maparlin, that I'm meeting one of the girls in the laundry, but he didn't care. He kissed me absently and went back to whatever he was doing. Every time he touches me I think of my baby, and I want to scream. I wonder if it was a boy or a girl. I know I shouldn't be meeting K'far and that this is wrong, but for the first time in weeks I feel good about something. About someone. About me.

m4 d8 Turn 2 K'far brought me flowers. Maparlin never brings me flowers anymore.
He never brings me gifts, either. I don't want anything much, just to know that he's thinking of me. A cookie from the kitchens. Something he's carved. Or even that he'd reach for me in the night... not that I want to touch him anymore. He is everything I have lost, my past, my baby. He is sucking me out from the inside and leaving a smiling woman-thing in my place. But K'far put something back inside me. I won't tell Maparlin. I must have my secrets. He'll pull everything out from inside of me, and if I don't keep anything back, I'll be dead.

~*~

Firsa snapped the book shut and tossed it aside. Nineba's diary was addictive, but she couldn't read it for long. It was too.. close. Too personal. Secrets.

**Where are you now?** she asked, thinking of the missing woman.
**What would you say if you know who I was meeting tonight?** The Stablemaster had a fairly good idea, even if she hadn't dared turn to the end of the diary yet. Nineba had been in love with K'far, that much was obvious, and a woman in love wasn't a rational creature.
**But are we ever...**

Nobody knew where Nineba was, and K'far was suspected in her disappearance, even if nothing had ever been done about it. And now she was meeting him, alone, tonight up on the cliffs. For klah. For conversation. She hated conversation and needed her secrets- they wrapped around Firsa like a blanket, like armor, insulating and protective.
**Shards... what am I doing?!** She swung her legs off the bed and sat at the edge, her head in her hands. This was all so confusing.
K'far was... addictive. He was good in bed. He was- persistent. She smiled. And despite her best intentions, she liked him. But he was also a problem. He looked too much like Daremek... Daremek, who was getting married.
Daremek, who she still felt far too much for. Who wanted to be _friends_. And K'far was suspected of killing a woman. Granted, the Stablemaster knew that she could hold her own in a fight. She was as tall as the dragonman, and strong. But no one could guard against choking hands in the night, or a knife in the back. **What am I doing**

There were no easy answers, but as she glanced at the candle marking the time in the corner, she also knew that she wasn't going to stand him up. It was time for dinner, and if she didn't hurry, there'd only be scraps and gristle left to eat. Although with the way her stomach was doing slow flips, maybe missing dinner wasn't all that bad of an idea...

Last updated on the July 26th 2006

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Secrets