Company (2/3)

Writers: Dana, Eimi
Date Posted: 3rd July 2006

Characters: Traelyn, U'kaiah, R'hoos
Description: R'hoos tries to ease Traelyn after her fight with N'vanik--and tries to give her advice that she doesn't want to hear. When he's gone, she finally succumbs to her frustration and grief
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 12, day 21 of Turn 3

"Thanks, R'hoos," Traelyn murmured, giving him a small, shaky smile as she took the offered glass. Sitting up straighter against her bed's headboard, she lifted the drink to her nose and sniffed carefully, wondering what he'd opened. She wondered if it was strong. A part of her hoped it was.

"Not exactly sure what it is, but it looks expensive. I figured you could use something good," he sighed as he leaned back against the headboard beside her. "So just who in Faranth's name was that pile of wherry dung, anyway?"

She winced slightly, staring down at the amber liquid a moment before taking a long sip of it. "I... We knew each other, back when I was at Dragonsfall."

"Well, he seems to think he has some kind of claim to you." He looked down into his drink as he asked, "Does he have a reason to believe that?"

Her upper lip curled at the very _thought_ of the prick having any kind of "claim" on her. But, tonight aside, she thought back to the other times when he'd come to Dolphin Cove, and she'd gone back to Dragonsfall, and she knew that he did. "Yes."

R'hoos snorted as he shook his head in disbelief. "_Why_?" He just couldn't believe it. "You're beautiful and smart and a _Weyrwoman_ for Faranth's sake. Why in her name would you put up with _that_? You don't deserve that."

Traelyn glanced at him out of the corner of her eye before taking another drink. "He asked me the same thing once...why I put up with him."

The bronzerider downed his drink and reached down to put his glass next to the bottle on the floor. He turned to sit cross-legged facing her, looking her right in the eye. "And why do you?"

She shifted, uncomfortable with the way his eyes held her rooted to the spot. Her hand tightened around her glass. "Would you believe it if I told you that, despite every scorching thing, I care about the prick?"

"Yes," he nodded, still looking at her eyes. R'hoos reached up and gently stroked the back of his fingers along her cheek. "You would have to in order to put up with that man. But shards, Trae, you deserve so much better than him. He's trouble for you. He's no good for you."

She looked down, leaning into his soft caress. She hardly knew this bronzerider, so why was it so sharding easy to tell him things she'd never told anyone else? Not even U'kaiah? Frowning, she brushed her cheek against his fingers again. "It's not hard to agree with you when I'm so scorching _mad_ at him." A soft snarl colored her tone. "But sometimes, shards, R'hoos..."

"Traelyn, listen to me," R'hoose said gently, taking her face in both of his hands. "You may care for him. And shards, you must have an amazingly wonderful and gentle heart to have the patience, but he does not care for you. Not like you care for him. If he thinks he loves you it is a selfish love, and love should not be so hateful as what I saw tonight."

Love? She gazed at him. Love... That was such a strong word, a powerful word. What stood between she and N'vanik...it wasn't that. Nothing had been like that since L'kub. Nothing. Swallowing thickly, she averted her eyes from his.

"You deserve better than how he treats you," the bronzerider said gently, knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he believed in the deepest parts of him that it was true.

But did she? Did she really? "I'm not... I'm not the woman you think I am, R'hoos." Her voice was very quiet.

"Why would you say that?" he asked, trying to catch her eye.

She thought of all the other riders that had been involved in her life up until now. She thought of L'kub, and the way she had treated him.
And she thought of B'ram...and how she treated him now. Shaking her head, her hand went to one of his wrists and she held on, needing the physical contact--needing something to just hold on to.

"Come here," the bronzerider said gently as he reached for her, knowing she desperately needed to be held.

She hesitated as he slowly pulled her closer. But as she felt his hard arms come up to surround her, one hand cradling the back of her neck, she closed her eyes, trying to accept and take the comfort he offered.

~*~*~

....And it had helped...but not enough. Not enough to ease her tumultuous thoughts. Not enough to keep her from drinking what was left of the hard liquor he'd opened once he had finally left the Weyr. Not enough to keep the sharding tears from falling.

Angrily she swiped at her cheeks, hating herself for letting N'vanik get to her like this. She should _know_ better than this. She should!
**How many sharding times has this _happened_, Trae? You know he's an ass.** Her lip curled into a silent snarl as she downed the rest of her glass. Sharding, arrogant, _scorching_ bronzerider. Just remembering the way he'd smiled at her when he realized--scorch him!--that he'd gotten to her made her jaw tighten, made her eyes burn even more than they sharding already were.

**Why do you put up with him? You don't deserve that...** R'hoos's words ran through her mind. But what he didn't know was that she sharding _did_ deserve it. She deserved all the painful blows that were being dealt to her. It was to atone for when she'd lashed out to others in ways that had been just as terrible--maybe even more so. Looking back on what she'd done to L'kub--and to B'ram--shards... It made her ache.

With a soft whimper, she curled up in on herself. **I deserve it...**
Clutching one of the pillows to her, she slowly leaned to one side, burying her face in it, the soft material soaking up her tears.

As soon as Kalamath had conveyed Nyith's pained plea U'kaiah had been on his bronze's back and on his way. Even so, he was not prepared for the sight of her. He had never seen Trae so... broken. Though he had called several times, she had not responded. All he could hear was the muffled heaving sobs. **Shells... what happened here...**

}:Nyith says you are the right person to come:{ his bronze murmured in his mind.

U'kaiah gently sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to lightly touch her shoulder. "Trae, love. Please don't cry."

It was the soft touch on her shoulder--a familiar touch--that made her look up. Tears still ran unchecked down her cheeks--she couldn't stop them. And as she searched the expression on his face, she wished desperately that she could.

He looked first at her tear streaked face, and then down at the tear-soaked pillow. With a finger reached up to catch a drop before it could fall. This was not just saddness. It was an outpouring of gut wrenching grief. He didn't know if he was the right person or not, but he was the one who was there, and shards but he could see the pain and aching in her eyes. In that moment he grieved for her, and not knowing exactly why, tears began to sting his eyes as well.

Blinking them back, he pulled the pillow away from her and lay down to take its place. Wrapping his arms around her he whispered, "Come here, my love. You can cry on me."

She buried herself against him, hiding her face, hiding her tears. But she couldn't hold anything back. Nothing. Everything that had been welling up inside of her for days--sevendays--was now finally being released: her troubles with N'vanik; her memories of L'kub which were coming back to her more strongly now, plauging her with regret and guilt that she'd thought she'd forgotten long ago; and the knowledge of what she and B'ram had done to each other--especially what she'd done to him.
She should have jut let him _go_! She should have just let him run that first nie knowledge of wn't_ you, Trae? Why?** With a muffled sob, she clung to her friend, her one anchor.

U'kaiah could only guess and what was tearing away at his friend so ruthlessly. She had always tried to hide her tears from him, but this time... this time there was no stopping them. He held her and murmured soothingly, stroking her hair, her cheeks, her back, and when she shook and trembled he held her closer. His mind was full of a thousand questions. But they would have to wait. For now, he knew all he could do was hold her and let her cry.

Last updated on the July 3rd 2006

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Company (2/3)