Everything’s Lost To The Wind (4/5)

Writers: Avery
Date Posted: 2nd May 2026

Characters: T'zha, Xehanis
Description: T’zha finds out what happened to I’rad and Irrkali.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 9, day 28 of Turn 12
Notes: Mentioned: Irrkali, E’tariax (indrectly)
This is a followup to “Leaf On The Wind” from last year - the storm Threadfall. Part 4 of 5.

“Ah, yes. Irrkali. I actually treated her earlier. I have good and bad
news for you, bluerider. Come with me, we’ll speak in private,” the
dark-haired Healer said. He clenched one hand and took a deep breath
to steady himself before continuing.

T’zha followed behind him, not knowing the layout of this infirmary or
having any idea where they were going. He was led towards the back of
the Infirmary, to a quiet area with a number of open curtains and
empty cots.

“Your sister is wounded from Threadfall, but in no danger of dying.
She won’t even need to spend the night here. I suspect the reason her
dragon called yours is because her son was killed in today’s
Threadfall and she is grieving. I have it noted down to follow up with
mindhealer services.”

T’zha was relieved to hear Irrkali wasn’t dying, then was gutted to
hear the second piece of news. “I’rad?” he breathed in shock. “What
happened? Do you know?”

“Thread tangle hit his dragon and severed his straps. He fell and was
caught by another rider, who brought into the Infirmary, said that the
kid’s dragon never came out of /between/. A journeyman and I got a
look and told him his leg would have to be amputated. He said he knew
his dragon was gone and he didn’t want to stay. Was barely hanging on
to consciousness. I told him we could put him under, take the leg, let
him wake up and think about it first, talk to people. He refused.”

Xehanis didn’t need to give the uncle the details of how the boy
passed. He was a dragonrider. He could put it together.

“Did Irrkali get the chance to say goodbye?”

Xehanis shook his head. “It probably wasn’t even 10 minutes after the
Thread got his leg to when he was gone. He was gone before the Fall
was over. She was flying the same half.”

T’zha’s stomach hurt thinking about it. He clenched his hands
together. “And how is she?”

“After the Threadfall ended, she came in for treatment. I cleaned and
stitched the wound. I’d been planning to talk to her since I knew they
were related, even before I knew she was injured. While she was calmed
enough by fellis, I asked if she’d heard. She thought he’d died with
his blue.”

“How did she take it when you told her?” he asked.

Xehanis grimaced. “I explained to her it was the boy’s choice to go.
She was angry I didn’t just put him under, make him have to decide
later, when others could talk to him. I thought she was going to slap
me.”

“For doing what he asked for?” T’zha asked.

He could see both sides. If Haijuth had gone and he hadn’t - and he
recoiled in his mind from the thought, viscerally repulsed by it,
reassured by how Haijuth immediately sent a warm boost of
love-affection-here-near back to him - then he thought he would want
to go. Some people survived it. (**Dorix,** filled his mind again.)
Sometimes they found a reason to. Family. Friends. Partnerships. A
sense of unfinished business or duty. From somewhere they found the
impossible strength to continue.

But for a young boy who’d only recently Impressed, full of confidence
and still figuring out who he was with his dragon, to find himself
without a dragon… some would say he still had so much life ahead of
him to be worth living, but others might say that it was so much life
to force yourself to live when knowing you were only part of a person.
Knowing that there was only one dragon for you and you could never
Impress again, knowing that you had only been complete while they
lived, and knowing if you kept going, how long you’d have to live
before being reunited with the other half that made you Whole in
whatever place you went after you passed...

T’zha thought he knew who he was, but without Haijuth he wouldn’t want
to be someone. He couldn’t imagine being one of the ones who tried to
stay. He wasn’t going to hold it against the boy for deciding to go.

But Irrkali… I’rad was the son she’d carried inside herself. Had
raised from a babe to a youngling to a teenager. That she loved so
desperately and fiercely. He remembered when she’d been pregnant with
the boy, violently ill in a way that was putting herself and Jeath at
risk, determined to carry him anyway. He remembered Irrkali telling
him that children were pieces of your heart carried outside of your
body. I’rad would have been a piece of her that should have outlived
her by decades. Having him die while she lived… choosing to slip away
after that devastating loss, without even trying to stay alive long
enough to say goodbyes, to consider an alternative…He could see why
she would be so angry at not getting a chance to beg her son to stay.
To feel like she could negotiate with the unfairness of the world.

“I told her honestly, even if we’d put him under, taken the leg… the
injuries were bad enough he might have passed before he woke up.
Especially with the will to live sapped by loss of dragon bond.”

Xehanis wasn’t a rider himself, but he knew that one’s attitude and
drive could sometimes affect the outcome of an illness. A rider could
sometimes miraculously pull through what seemed fatal, with their
dragon’s strength and desire for them to live being a source of
energy. Especially when metallic dragons were involved, supporting the
dragon and the rider. He’d also seen how those who lost their dragons
could die easier than expected, passing during medical treatment, from
minor illnesses, in their sleep for seemingly no reason at all.

“It didn’t change how she felt,” the bluerider guessed.

“No. She was still furious. She said we failed him by not keeping him
alive. Screamed at us. I didn’t take it personally. If it was my
child…” Xehanis trailed off. No, he didn’t blame Irrkali for being
upset at him at all. Anger was grief displaced when it was too
unbearable to touch directly.

“We offered her a drink to calm her nerves. She demanded we let her
see the body, and to let her be the one to take him /between/. We
argued about its safety, but I conceded. She’s back in the viewing
area now with him. Has been for over an hour. I haven’t wanted to go
disturb her. Please sit with her and take as long as you two need.”

“What does his body look like?” T’zha asked. The description of it
being bad enough to cost his leg made him feel sick.

“We did take and dispose of the leg for Thread contamination concerns.
He’s been washed clean. Nobody needs to sit looking at a face with the
blood and ash of Threadfall,” Xehanis said. “When it’s time, you can
take him right /between/. Please let a healer know you did.”

“You said it wasn’t safe for her to go?”

“Ideally, no. Another two trips /between/ risks infection, but she
won’t allow anyone else to do it. She didn’t know you were coming, but
I think she’ll still want to go. If you can help impose on her
continuing to come back…”

T’zha nodded. “I’ll do what I can. I’m ready to see them now.”

“Right this way,” Xehanis said, leading the foreign bluerider into the
viewing zone, picking up and uncovering a glowbasket, and pausing
before a pulled privacy curtain.

T’zha took the glows, pulled the curtain aside, and went in.

Last updated on the May 24th 2026

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Everything’s Lost To The Wind (4/5)