Some fires never die

Writers: Paula, Eimi
Date Posted: 22nd June 2006

Characters: Zelanka, Benaroy
Description: Benaroy and Zelanka a time...
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 12, day 18 of Turn 3

"That's a pretty flower, dear. Very pretty flower," Zelanka said with the crooning tone people use with little children. A turn old little girl was showing her a rather crumbled flower she had picked up.

"Pletty, to glanny!" she said and smiled. "Why, thank you, dear," Zelanka accepted the gift. She was watching her granddaughter while her mother was seeing a healer. Zelanka wished that meant little Lanalya was going to have a sibling. She had taken her outside to enjoy the weather.

"I think she has her father's eyes," Benaroy rumbled softly as he smiled down at the pair of them.

"Yes, and her mother's nose, which is certainly a blessing for a girl," the Headwoman replied with rather meaningful glance towards the Lord Holder's nose.

"I rather think Lantriv's nose is shapely," the Lord Holder chuckled as he sat down beside the Headwoman on the bench. "It could have been much worse, you know."

"Yes, Faranth knows, I know. I've always wondered how no one ever noticed the...resemblance," Zelanka said, placing her words carefully.
There were things you didn't say out aloud, like the issue of the rather questionable paternity of her children. (Although she was hundred percent sure Pelanka had been sired by Petriv, she even knew when she had been conceived. As for her sons, well, she had no doubts of who had sired Lantriv but Zetriv on other hand...)

He turned to look at the headwoman. Her hair was darker than it had once been. Benaroy could still picture it, shining like the sun off of the freshly cut hay, flowing in the breeze, her skirts clinging to her perfectly, revealing just enough, without truly revealing anything at all. What man wouldn't turn his head to stare when that beauty with the fiery eyes passed by. "_I_ noticed, Zela," he replied softly.

"You noticed everything," the woman said, a spark in her eyes. Some fires never died out.

"And I forgot nothing." Yes, the fires might not burn as brightly, but they certainly never died.

Zelanka turned to watch the child again. Sometimes she wished things were different. That Petriv had left her, or had died in some accident. She did care for her husband but it was not the love between man and woman. It was the love between old friends. If only she hadn't been married to Petriv back then. She sighed.

Benaroy also had his regrets. He knew that, even if Zelanka had been unwed, the Hold always came first. What right did he, the Lord Holder, have to marry the woman he cared for most in the world? A woman with no family. A woman raised under the protection of the Hold, under the care of all, and yet tied to none. How could the Hold have benefited from such a match. Nimile, at least, had been of the Blood. She had the family connections that guaranteed a favorable match for the Lord Holder. But for the man...

~*~

The large belly was first to enter the Lord's office. Zelanka was going to keep her work until the last month of her pregnancy and the headwoman had nothing against it. There weren't that many assistant headwomen.
"The infirmary report, my Lord," she said formally.

"What's the news, Zelanka?" Benaroy asked, also keeping up the appearance of a completely work-related relationship, but his eyes were invariably drawn to the protruding stomach.

"Two new babies this month and three scheduled for the next two months," she replied and patted her belly. "Congratulations, I heard you are getting married, sir," she said, the bitterness creeping to her voice.

"Don't," he said quietly, looking down at his fingernail as it ran along the edge of his desk. Shaking his head he murmured, "Please don't do that, Zela."

"Do what? It's over between us. You will have a new wife and I...will have a new baby."

"Don't act like this is my fault," he said, his eyes raising to meet hers. "We both knew it had to be this way in the end. We _both_ knew it, and we chose to go ahead anyway." Shards, how could they _not_ have done what they did.

"I'm not blaming you. It just _hurts_", she felt tears burning behind her eyes. It had supposed to be few nights of fun but had become something more. She had developed feelings for him, unlike to her previous lovers.

"And you think I'm not hurting too?" he asked, holding his hand out to her. Benaroy had never meant for this to happen. He thought it would be a relief from the loneliness after his second wife died, but Zelanka had been more than a bandage for his wounded heart. Holding her in his arms had healed him from hurts so many turns older. When he was with her he felt fresh, strong, hopeful... He felt like himself again, not the purpose driven Lord Holder who was fighting for his Hold's survival, but the man he had been before the Plague, before he lost his friends and family. Back when life was good... And just when he found it, he lost it again.

"We can't show it," was her quiet answer.

~~*~~

"G'nny! Pletties!" Lenalya called and brought Zelanka more flowers, and some weeds and handfull of grass.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Zelanka said and smiled.

The Lord Holder looked at the corners of her lips, turned up in that smile that he had been burned onto his heart so many turns before. There were lines around it now, but it still shone as brightly, as full of love. She had once turned a similar smile towards him, but that was thirty turns ago. Benaroy's eyes traveled down to the prizes the little girl had gathered, now piled to overflowing in the woman's loving hands.
He sighed, knowing there would never be any flowers for him. **We can't show it...**

Last updated on the July 4th 2006

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Some fires never die