I'm Only a Heartbeat Away

Writers: Aaron, Miriah
Date Posted: 30th August 2021

Characters: T'ner, Aviday
Description: T'ner tells Aviday he's leaving
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 22 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Ranni, R'nar, R'fal

Aviday

T'ner had very few attachments to Dolphin Cove beyond his former wife
and his son. And his weyrmate. They were all gone or going with him to
Barrier Lake.

But he had a little sister.

"Aviday," said T'ner. There was something off to his voice. Something
stretched. Strained. "Hey."

Aviday looked up as T'ner entered her small little weyr and the tone
of his voice told her that something was wrong with her friend.
"T'ner?" She rose from her chair and put aside her straps, her eyes
studying his face. "What's wrong? You look upset. You even sound
upset."

"Yeah, so." T'ner tried to smile. He tried to be strong. That was what
big brothers did for their sisters. "Um, well. Resser's mom, well. She
fell in love. With, um. With someone special. And she's decided to be
his weyrmate. Not mine anymore. And he's taking her to Barrier Lake.
And well, that means she's taking Resser to Barrier Lake, too."

"So I'm going to follow my son." T'ner breathed deeply. "And, well.
Since you're my little sister, I. Wanted you to know where I'll be.
We'll just be a few heartbeats away. Through _between_, right?
Practically right next door." He offered his best smile.

"What? No. That can't be. You were happy together and..." She shook
her head in denial. "It's too quick for that! You can't just up and
leave, T'ner! I just lost Ranni and R'nar left and...all my friends
are going away!" Aviday's eyes began to tear up at the thought. "You
can't leave!"

T'ner's eyes closed as he felt a stab of guilt he did not expect.

"I was happy. Her, I guess not so much. Why don't you come, too?" he
asked. "If... if everyone is leaving, maybe you could follow us. I
know I'd like to have a familiar face." It was probably a ridiculous
thing to ask, but it was the best he could think of if visits were not
enough.

T'ner was not going to let Resser grow up with P'mar as more of a
father than he was to him, himself.

Aviday's lower lip trembled. "You know I can't. I still haven't
graduated to the fighting wings, T'ner. And I have my mama here and
there's R'fal...I..." She bit her lower lip hard. R'fal was something
more than a friend, and if she left, her mama wouldn't have anyone.
Her eyes moistened and she plopped back in her chair, furiously wiping
at her eyes as she looked down. "It's not fair."

"It's really not," T'ner agreed. "We had everything here. And I
thought it was all perfect. But... I can't just let her take my son
away, Avi." His eyes misted. "I don't want to go. But I have to. I
will absolutely be back here to see you graduate. And we can make
other plans to see each other before and after. Right?"

Aviday's face suddenly set in anger. "How could she do this to you?
It's horrible! I'm so...MAD at her! How could she hurt you like that?"
Her face flushed. "Just up and decide that suddenly? It's not right!"
Her small fists clenched. "I oughta punch her right in the nose or
something!"

"I think it was something she's been wrestling with for a long time,"
said T'ner as he rubbed his eyes. "I don't want to be mad at her.
She... We said we could still be friends. And we have a son
together." T'ner might have wanted to be angry, too, but he could not
bring himself to do it. He did still love Ayressa. And he did want her
to be happy. As much as it hurt him that she could not be happy with
him.

"If she had stayed with me to keep from hurting me, then I would have
hurt her instead. And then she would just... be unhappy with me
forever. Maybe now we can both be happy. Even if I have to be sad for
a little while, too."

"Do you, um. You know F'aen, right? With the weyrlingstaff? He's
coming with me. And we're going to be weyrmates now. And I love him.
And I am happy with him."

Aviday just stared at him for a long moment. "Wait...what?" She raised
her hands and waved them. "Wait. You're weyrmating someone else?
But..." She shook her head, completely confused by the sudden changes.
"I thought...I don't get it."

"F'aen and I have... been together for a little while now," T'ner
explained. "Because Ayressa encouraged me to explore other
relationships. Because I Impressed blue. And I did the same for her.
I... I didn't realize at the time that she meant to find another
relationship _instead_ of ours."

At that moment, Aviday resolved never ever to weyrmate anyone. It was
too complicated, she decided, and after seeing the pain in T'ner's
face, she promptly inwardly declared she'd never get that tangled up
with anyone. It wasn't worth it the confusion or the hurt. So instead,
she just blinked at T'ner slowly and then sighed. "And you're _all_
leaving?"

"I... guess we have to," said T'ner. "But I'll always have family here
as long as you're here. So you haven't seen the last of me. I'll come
back for Hatchings and Gathers and... all the important stuff. I don't
want to miss a thing." He offered his best, most hopeful smile. "You
can bet I'll be the first one in line to hug you when you graduate, no
matter what."

She got up to go to him and then flung her arms around his neck,
holding him tightly. "You had better not miss anything. I'll...I'll
kick your butt." She sniffed a little and blinked back tears as she
hugged him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." T'ner hugged Aviday back and let her be the one
to decide when it was enough. "And I'll be back for all the important
stuff, I promise. And if I can't, I'll know to bring the biggest
present I can afford as soon as I can to make up for it." He grinned.

She held him for a moment, then with a sigh, pulled back. "It better
be big presents then if you miss a thing."

"You know it'll have to be! I won't be able to bribe you with rides on
Lehystrath, since you've got Kobeth already." T'ner offered a smile.

"And as soon as I can, I'll visit. You'll have to show me around."
Aviday finally offered him more of a smile. "Deal?"

"Deal," T'ner agreed, very relieved to see Aviday smile. "Be sure to
bring your riding leathers. It's cold up in the mountains!"

Last updated on the October 1st 2021

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I'm Only a Heartbeat Away