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Writers: Estelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 9th April 2021

Characters: R'fal, J'ackt
Description: R'fal apologizes to J'ackt and gets some unexpected advice
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 8, day 2 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Aviday

J'ackt

R'fal knew he had to choose his moment carefully. **Not when he's
holding a sword. Not in the middle of the dining cavern. Bad memories,
plus I don't want to be skewered in front of hundreds of onlookers.**
When you thought about it, the Weyr offered so many opportunities for
murder. **Not the feeding grounds. Watching a dragon pounce on its kill
might give him ideas.**

That didn't leave many options. He considered the bathing rooms, hoping
that not even a violent former holdless man would take weapons in there,
but drowning didn't seem a pleasant way to go either. He'd almost
decided to forget about it and hope Aviday would too, when he saw J'ackt
walking across the Weyrbowl. He didn't look in any less of a bad mood
than usual.

**Okay.** If anything bad happened, at least there was plenty of room to
run. R'fal took a deep breath and jogged over to catch up with the other
young man. "Bronzerider?"

Having been lost in his own thoughts, J'ackt's peripheral vision
caught a figure jogging towards him and he immediately stiffened
before he recognized R'fal. His eyes flicked over R'fal's hands,
instinctively looking for weapons before he relaxed. There was,
however, no smile of welcome; instead annoyance flickered over his
face. "Yeah?"

R'fal halted a few paces away, held up his hands in what he hoped was a
peaceful gesture and took a deep breath. "Could I talk to you for a
minute? About the other day."

J'ackt finally stopped and turned to face R'fal. His brows twitched
upwards in a bit of surprise and his lips thinned as he recalled their
last conversation. "Ah. Look, I don't have the time to debate about
the Holdless or how horrible you think they are. I have things to do."

"It won't take long." R'fal decided that was about as positive a start
as he could have hoped for, since he'd not been attacked yet. "I wanted
to apologize. I didn't know your whole family was Holdless. I thought
when you said that you were talking about...someone else."

J'ackt's eyes narrowed for a moment and his hands went to his hips as
he considered the other man. "What good does an apology do? Your
feelings were clear." He tilted his head. "Yeah, my father was a piece
of wher shit; can't deny that. But when he was thrown from the hold,
he took me and my mother...who was _dragonless_ with him. You lumped
her in with that. You're lucky I didn't break in your teeth."

The young brownrider winced. "Yes. I know." His mother was dragonless,
too? Shards, it was worse than he'd realized. "I didn't know that could
happen. When my Da was - when he lost the hold, my mother's family took
her in, and my brother and sister..." His voice trailed off and he gave
up on trying to explain. It wasn't helping. "I'm sorry. I was wrong to
say that. I won't do it again."

Taking a step forward, J'ackt faced the younger man. "You've had a
rough go, I've heard about it some. But you're right, you don't know
what can happen. Your family was lucky. Your mam and siblings were
lucky. Not everyone's got someone like that to help them out. I was
raised Holdless. All I knew. I didn't have a choice in it and my Da
made fecking sure I didn't trust the Weyr or Hold. I had to steal to
survive and trust me when I tell you, that no one offered us aid or
work. So next time you assume something about me, you might want to
think a little further about it."

"Yes. Well..." R'fal's heart sank. What an idiot he'd been. It didn't
matter that most people back home had called the holdless a plague of
vermin, stealing from their flocks and stores, no better than wild
beasts. Nor that he'd always thought of them as desperate men in filthy
rags with staring eyes, that he'd never even imagined there might be
mothers and children among them. He could have done better. His Ma would
have expected it. He'd let her and Marlath down again.

On the other hand, he was still alive and unharmed, which was about as
much as he could have hoped for when he'd called a bronzerider's mother
holdless scum. He sighed. "Anyway, that was it. Sorry, again. I'll
just..." He started to back away.

J'ackt held up a hand. "Hold on. I've got a question." He looked at
R'fal for a long moment. "Why did you bother apologizing? You're the
only one who's ever bothered so I'm curious. Why would a holdbred
rider, of all people, apologize to me for that?"

R'fal's wary expression shifted to one of bemusement, as if he'd not
quite understood the question. "Uhm...because that's what you're
supposed to do, if you say something you regret?" He considered for a
moment. "I talked it over with a friend. She thought you'd want to know
that I made a mistake. So you know that people don't think you're
like...what I said."

His lips quirked in response. "People do think that. Often. You're not
the first to say so either." Then J'ackt tilted his head. "She, huh?
Who would that be exactly?"

The young brownrider was immediately suspicious, remembering how J'ackt
had told the Weyrleader about his plan to go to the mine. "Why?" He
frowned. "I'm not saying if it gets her in trouble. She hasn't done
anything wrong."

J'ackt snorted. "Faranth, why would she be in trouble? I know a lot of
girls, that's all." He shrugged. "Just curious."

R'fal tilted his head to one side, considering. He had to admit, he'd
been mistaken about J'ackt once already. Maybe he should show a bit more
trust. "Okay. My friend was Aviday, rider of Kobeth. But she just told
me you'd been Holdless since you were little. She didn't say anything
bad about you or holdless people." He paused, looking doubtful. "She
said you were nice, actually."

"Aviday..." J'ackt frowned, recognizing the name, but it took a moment
to bring her to mind. He held up a hand midway to his chest. "Kinda
skinny girl about this high? Short hair? Talks a lot?"

"Yes, that's her." R'fal immediately regretted his words. "Well, she's
not skinny, just slim, and she doesn't talk _that_ much, really."

J'ackt finally cracked a grin. "Yes she does. I know her. She comes to
the self-defense classes sometimes. Chatters like a hungry flit, but
she learns pretty quick when she pays attention. Asks a lot of
questions." He tilted his head. "She your girl?"

"Um..." R'fal hesitated. He wasn't sure, even now, what the custom was
in the Weyr. "We spend a lot of time together, since Marlath flew
Kobeth. I'd like it if she was, but I don't really know how she'd feel
about it, so..." What was he doing? He hadn't even told his old friends
from his weyrling class this much. J'ackt did look different when he
smiled. Less terrifying. But still. "Sorry. You're probably not interested."

J'ackt shrugged. "It's really none of my business. She's a good kid, I
think. But maybe don't tie yourself down too quickly. You'd be
surprised how often I get asked about that sort of thing." He easily
acknowledged his reputation without much thought.

"Wait..." R'fal blinked. "People ask _you_ for advice about girls?" Of
course, he'd heard some gossip, and weyrfolk were less reserved about
such matters, but even so, he wouldn't have imagined anyone would dare.
"I mean, if anything I'd have thought they'd ask about...you know.
Fighting."

J'ackt rolled his shoulders. "Not really, not unless they're wanting
to learn how to use a blade and lots just don't seem to see a need,
especially riders. I help with defense and all that when I'm asked to,
but I don't always have time. It's mostly new candidates who don't
know how to approach girls that the Weyrlingmasters send to me, or
they come themselves."

"Huh." He tried to imagine what he would have done if the Weyrlingmaster
had told him to go and talk to J'ackt. Somehow, with all the troubles in
his life around that time, it had never come up. Perhaps it would have
been better if he had. Aviday's flight wouldn't have been so bad. "So...
You don't think I should tie myself down?"

"How old are you?" J'ackt tilted his head. "Seventeen? I know she's
like 14 or something, right? Faranth, she's too young for anything
serious. I mean, sure, her dragon's rising and all that, but she's
still a kid. And you, you're Holdbred, you don't have to marry or
anything here just because you're bedding the girl."

"She's fifteen, but...yeah. I know." He definitely didn't want to hold
Aviday back. She had so many friends, and they had both said they'd
practice with others. Maybe she'd meet someone else that she liked
better. "It's just - it's not so easy for someone like me, than for
someone like you." He thought of everything a girl might know about him
if he tried to talk to her. That his father had been in the prison
mines. That he'd angered the Weyrleader and been confined to the Weyr.
The time he'd thrown Aviday's mother out of his weyr.

J'ackt blinked and slowly arched a single brow. "Someone like me?
Holdless, you mean?" He snorted and sighed. "Look, just have fun with
her. That's all I meant. Enjoy the fun. That's all."

"What? No." R'fal winced. "I meant that you're a bronzerider. And a
swordsman. And in the Weyrleader's Wing. Girls love those things. Aviday
said..." He stopped himself. "Anyway. I'm just from a farm, and my da
was in the mines. And I can't seem to stop doing idiotic things like
saying what I did about holdless people around you. That's why it's not
as easy."

With a smirk, J'ackt responded. "I'm also very weyrmated to a
greenrider who wouldn't think twice about hauling my balls over her
green's flame if I decided to take advantage of what those girls
love." He didn't ask what Aviday had said; he could imagine what the
talkative young woman would say. "So what if your Da was in the mines?
Mine was worse. And I wasn't much better before I came here. Ask your
girl what girls like. She'll know the good about you. Shards, she
might even point out what you can use, you know. She seems...open."

"Um. I'll think about it." It still seemed strange that what would have
been the worst kind of shame for his family meant so little in the Weyr.
As for asking Aviday about other girls... He tried to imagine saying
something like that to one of the girls back home, and winced. He'd get
slapped in the face, and then her brothers would beat him up and throw
him in the river. If he was lucky. Aviday wasn't like holder girls, but
was she _that_ unlike them? She had a green who could flame, too. "Well,
thanks for the advice."

J'ackt shrugged. "No problem." He considered R'fal again for a moment,
his lips pursed as he mused for a moment. "You do seem to stick your
boot in your mouth, you know. Try thinking before you open your teeth
maybe." His lips lifted to take any sting out of the words. "Or just
listen more than you talk. You learn a sharding lot more that way,
especially about people."

"I'll try." The brownrider looked thoroughly abashed, but he managed a
smile anyway. It hadn't gone too badly. He was still alive and unharmed,
and he did feel better, like a weight had lifted from his conscience.
"Uh...see you around, then, Bronzerider." He hesitated, then offered a
hand.

J'ackt slowly took R'fal's hand, gripping the younger man's wrist in
his own. "Yeah. Sure." His lips barely quirked in a smile, but there
was a hint of humor in his eyes.

Last updated on the July 21st 2021

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