Unconditional Love

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 28th February 2020

Characters: Saidrene, Saibra
Description: A mother's unconditional love.
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 1, day 25 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: K'ran, J'ackt, R'enh, Erdenth, Mnoranth, Kapera, Alina

Saidrene

Saibra

When the letter came across her desk Saibra was sure that it was a mistake, or perhaps even one of those dreams that she had sometimes, ones that she woke from with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Her fingers shook a little as she tore open the seal and opened the hide to reveal her daughter's neat, precise handwriting:

"Mom,
Come by Barrier Lake today?

Saidrene."

So it wasn't exactly the warm, fuzzy heartfelt letter she had been anticipating, but it was an invitation nonetheless. At this point, Saibra could not even remember the last time she and her daughter were in the same space, seeing each other face-to-face. She had thought when the twins were born that Saidrene would come to see her new siblings, but she had never shown.

There had been no attempt on Saidrene's part to interact with her mother, or siblings, not even Kaibren. Saibra had been doing her best to give Saidrene her space and freedom since she knew how difficult it had been on her daughter when they had lived in the same Weyr. Perhaps now they could finally have that mother-daughter friendship that she saw in other women around Dragonsfall.

Setting aside the hidework she had been pouring over, Saibra practically fluttered from her chair, grabbed her riding gloves and coat, and jaunted out to meet Chioneth on her weyrledge.

}:A visit to Barrier Lake? Good, I hear there are lots of nice bronzes there.:{ Chioneth said silkily.

}:Riyanth's bronzes.:{ Saibra chimed in.

The gold sighed a little as she took off. }:True.:{ Chioneth passed along word to Mnoranth and Erdenth before going /between/.

--

"Saidrene!" Saibra's face was wreathed in a smile as she wrapped her arms around her daughter's shoulder and pulled her in for a warm hug. "I was so glad to hear from you."

Saidrene winced inwardly, accepting the hug with a loose encircling of her arms around her mother's waist. "It is good to see you too, Mom."

Saibra held Saidrene at arms-length. "Stand back, let me look at you." Her eyes raked over her daughter's figure. "You look like a woman, not like the teenager who went to Dolphin Cove to Stand."

Saidrene had to fight the urge to cover her stomach, even though the baby bump she had was so small and insignificant that no one would know it was there but her. "Well, it has been a few Turns," she agreed, sidestepping as her mother swept into her small, but tidy weyr.

The Dragonsfall Weyrwoman's eyes surveyed the area lightly before she turned around. "So you are liking Barrier Lake, then?"

"Um, yes, actually," Saidrene said as she gestured for her mother to sit.

"It's always exciting going somewhere new," Saibra empathized. "With D'hol and Kapera as Weyrleaders I assume it feels a little like Dolphin Cove."

"Yeah, it's familiar," she agreed.

Saibra bit softly on her lower lip, quickly running out of small talk.

"So, I, uh, I hear that K'ran is at Dragonsfall?" Saidrene's fingers nervously picked at the hem of her sleeve. Being so early pregnant she could not travel to Dragonsfall to see how the bronzerider fared, and she didn't know anyone else personally enough at the cliffside Weyr to ask them regarding K'ran's well-being.

"Oh, yes, his Rogueth /betweened/ Aglayath into Dragonsfall territory. She injured him pretty severely, but Chioneth and Aglayath managed to get him back to Dragonsfall. W'ser anticipates a full recovery, they're just waiting on open wounds to heal before allowing them to /between/."

Saidrene felt a trickle of relief. There had been all sorts of rumors floating around Barrier Lake. A part of her had also been worried that K'ran might decide to stay at Dragonsfall, a place more familiar to him, since he did not win Riyanth's flight.

"How is K'ran holding up?" Saidrene asked, wondering how he emotionally and mentally was taking the loss of leadership and Rogueth's injuries.

Saibra's eyes narrowed marginally as the wheels began to turn. "He's a little... distant, a little lost, perhaps. He is used to being a leader and very active, of course." She studied her daughter's face. "Why the invested interest?"

"Well, he's my...." Saidrene nearly said 'Wingleader' but that wasn't true, not anymore. "We've been... seeing each other."

"Romantically?" Saibra asked, eyes now widening a bit with surprise.

Saidrene cringed, not wanting to discuss it with her mother. "Yes."

"Oh."

"Oh, what?"

"I just...." Saibra's mouth worked as she tried to figure out how to word her surprise. "Didn't foresee, um.... compatibility between the two of you, I guess."

Saidrene's eyes flew to her mother's face. "Why not?"

"Well," Saibra floundered, "he's somewhat older than you, serious, and .... mature."

"And I'm not? I'm just a young silly girl?" Saidrene snapped. "You don't know anything about me!"

"You're right, I don't anymore," Saibra conceded, hands up, not wanting to deepen the rift between them. "I just did not realize that there would be a mutual attraction there. Not that he wouldn't want you, but that you would want him."

"I do want him," Saidrene insisted, tired of hearing that questioned, by K'ran or anyone else. "What's not to want? As you said, he's mature, not like stupid boys my age, and romantically... well, there's plenty of mutual attraction, let me assure you." That part of her relationship with K'ran was the easy part.

"I see." Saibra's mind flashbacked to that night at Dragonsfall's hatching, when she had talked with K'ran, who had been Saidrene's Wingleader at the time. Had they been seeing each other even then?

Then it dawned on her. "So you just asked me here today to... ask about K'ran?"

Saidrene's cheeks turned a light shade of pink. She couldn't lie when asked directly. "Yes."

Saibra's shoulders visibly slumped a little as her stomach sank. And here she had thought her daughter wanted to spend time with her.

"I see." She straightened a little in her chair, assuming her Weyrwoman posture. "So why the subterfuge? Why not just go to Dragonsfall and see K'ran yourself?"

"I can't." Saidrene had only told one person about her pregnancy, D'hol when she had to, but now.... "I'm pregnant."

Saibra's eyebrows shot up. "Oh! Is it... Is it K'ran's then?"

"There's a chance." Saidrene admitted.

"A chance?" There was no judgement from Saibra on that matter, she had done her share of promiscuous living when she was not weyrmated to K'fel or R'enh.

"J'ackt won my mating flight just a few days before K'ran and I started being intimate again." Her voice was tiny, barely a whisper, but it was enough for Saibra to hear.

"Oh, Saidrene, no." Saibra would never forget the night Saidrene had come to her, pregnant with J'ackt's child, back when they were just Candidates at Dolphin Cove. She had persuaded Saidrene to abort the child, taken her /between/ herself. It was the night that had changed their relationship forever.

Hot tears flooded Saidrene's eyes. "No. Don't. I know what you are thinking. I know J'ackt's my cousin because of Uncle K'yne finding out that he fathered him."

"I also know how well J'ackt follows rules and etiquette," Saibra remarked dryly.

"We were going to stop," a tear slipped from her cheek, "because he took Alina as his weyrmate. The flight was just going to be our last time together."

It bothered Saibra that they had apparently only agreed to end their romantic relationship because he was weyrmated, not for the larger and much more taboo reason. **But at least it's over, I guess.**

"But there _is_ a chance it is K'ran's?" Saibra stressed, thinking that perhaps Saidrene might lie about that in order to have J'ackt's child.

"Yes," Saidrene said vehemently, wiping tears from her cheeks with jerky gestures. "We were intimate soon after the flight and several times since."

"Does K'ran know?"

"No," Saidrene said in anguish.

"And J'ackt, does he know?"

Saidrene shook her head, sobs wracking her shoulders.

Saibra left her chair and went over to wrap her arms around her daughter. The fact that she had been brought to Barrier Lake under false pretenses no longer mattered. "This is quite a mess, isn't it?" She murmured, rocking Saidrene lightly.

"What do I do?" Saidrene buried her face into the crook of Saibra's neck, inhaling the familiar, comfortable scent that belonged only to her mother.

"Just be honest," Saibra advised. "J'ackt's impulsive but not stupid. When he sees you pregnant he's bound to do the math and know the possibilities. And K'ran, whom you seem to care about, certainly deserves to know."

Saidrene nodded, wiping at her now puffy red eyes with her sleeve. "I know, I was going to tell K'ran but then Riyanth rose and the next thing I know K'ran is at Dragonsfall and I cannot /between/ to tell him. It's something I'd rather tell him in person."

"Do you want me to deliver a message to him for you?" Saibra asked.

"No," Saidrene shook her head, "then he would wonder more about why I wasn't there. I'll just wait until he gets back to Barrier Lake."

Saibra nodded. "Okay. I won't say anything to him, then." She thought of the dazed bronzerider and wondered how he would take the news of possible fatherhood.

Gently putting her fingers underneath Saidrene's chin, Saibra lifted her daughter's face so she could see her eyes. "After today, no more tears, okay? You clearly want this child or you wouldn't have kept it and risked all of this for it. After today resolve to enjoy this pregnancy, being a mother is more fulfilling than I can describe, and the pregnancy and infancy of the child last for such a short time. Savor it."

Saidrene nodded, she really did want to be excited about the pregnancy, it's just all of the drama surrounding it sometimes overshadowed it. "I will."

"Good," she pressed a kiss to Saidrene's hair as she stood. "I should get back to Dragonsfall."

Saidrene rose as well. "Mom?"

Saibra turned.

"Thank you for coming.... I love you."

The goldrider smiled. "I'll come running any time you need, you know that. I love you, too."

Last updated on the May 31st 2020

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Unconditional Love