Everything Changes

Writers: Estelle, Miriah
Date Posted: 2nd January 2020
Series: The Assassin's Husband

Characters: Lorican, Lusilk
Description: Lorican shows Lusilk Urlene's letter about her strange visitor
Location: Barrier Lake Weyr
Date: month 1, day 2 of Turn 10
Notes: Mentioned: Bilpen, Dunrik, Urlene, Varlin, Bryvin

Lusilk

It wasn't their evening to practice together, but the sense of unease
about the man Urlene had mentioned in her letter had been growing in
Lorican all day and so as soon as the day's work in the smithy was done,
he sought out Lusilk in her office. If there was any reason to be
concerned about this man, she needed to know.

"Yes, it was a very nice gift, Silgan." The voice was barely heard
behind her door. "And I think he likes you and he is nice. " The was a
pause as Lorican's footsteps approached and then a sigh. "Go ahead and
go to Bilpen. I'm sure that he's waiting for his hug for the evening."
Before Lorican could knock, Lusilk's office door swung open and Silgan
darted out. He stopped at the sight of Lorican and looked up, giving
his leg a quick hug before rushing to the stairs. "Walk! Don't run!" The
boy sighed and slowed down, but took to the stairs with steps that
could only be described as a childish jog.

Lusilk looked up and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "The child is going
to break his neck down those stairs someday." She frowned and sat back
in her chair. "I hope this is about the pots and trays we've asked for. "

"Oh - I think Master Dunrik said there'd be some ready tomorrow,"
Lorican said, still half-distracted by the young boy. Remembering that
they might be overheard, he closed the door of the office behind him.
"But it's not that. I've had news, from Dolphin Cove." He took Urlene's
letter from his pocket and handed it over with a hint of ironical
politeness. "Since you won't have had a chance to read it yet..."

Which meant that he'd only just recieved it. Lusilk smirked, but took
the letter. "You just giving it to me makes it much easier. That new
lock you made is child's play, by the way. An extra tumbler is nothing.
Try to be more inventive next time." Unrolling the letter, she was
quiet as she began to read, but went completely still as the strange
man's description was detailed. Her face visibly paled and just a brief
moment, the was a flash of pain in her eyes that was quickly followed
by very real distress. She took a deep breath and very slowly laid the
letter down on her desk. Exhaling as she stared at it, she swallowed
and then slowly lifted her eyes to Lorican. "You need to run. Go north
as soon as you can. Forget this place, anyone you care about, even
debts. Run."

"What?" Lorican felt a chill in the pit of his stomach at the look on
her face. "You - you know that man? Who is he?" But he had a feeling he
already knew, and the feeling of dread intensified, all his fears given
a name and a face. The man had been with Urlene.

"Yes, I know him." Her eyes went back to the letter and then pushed it
away, rising. "Very well. And I won't tell you his name, but he's the best.
There very best. " Her shoulders slumped. "I knew I shouldn't have
settled here. I should have kept wandering or gone north myself." The
was a pause and her eyes widened. " She didn't date this." She jabbed a
finger at the letter, suddenly alarmed. "When was he there? Did she say?"

"She didn't, but she only wrote to me about him yesterday, so it can't
have been more than a few days." Lorican forced down the panic, made
himself think. "If he's what you say, he won't come here with a
dragonrider. He'll have to travel here over land or by sea. It'll take
weeks, months even." He tried to calm his voice, calm her. "We have
time. And he doesn't know you're here. He can't know that there are two
of us."

Lusilk stared at the piece of paper, memories flooding her vision, the
scrawled letters on the hide momentarily fading. Her eyes closed and
she swallowed hard. "Faranth, you can't run, Lorican. If you're not
here, he'll go back there to her. Faranth, that's what I would do.
He'd use her to get to you." She sat back down, swiping at her face as
she struggled to think and think quickly. Lorican was right; he
wouldn't use dragons. She'd done so in the past, but that was too
chancy for this particular assignment. And even if she wasn't here,
after disposing of Lorican, he'd come for her after. Her son's welfare
wouldn't matter to him; by her failure, her life was forfeit. Silgan
would be collateral damage. Silgan was safer here. At least if
anything happened to she and Lorican both, she knew someone would care
for him until her plan for him was set in motion. She spat out a
vicious curse.

Weeks...maybe months. It wasn't enough time! Faranth, she'd trained
for years and even knowing him like she did, how he fought, how he
approached a job, she doubted that she could win in a fight with
_him_. "He'll know quickly enough. I've not hidden here, Lorican. Not
like I fecking should have." Faranth, all she had wanted was peace
when she came here. Just a chance for it. She was more a fool for
hoping she could find it. She felt a growing sense of defeat, despair,
and inevitability growing in her middle. Hope...peace...safety...she
should have known better.

Finally, she looked up at Lorican, her voice quiet, resigned, and a
bit dull. "I don't think I can keep you alive, but I can try. I'll
hold up my end. But you're going to have to make difficult choices,
Lorican. You can't be alone. Ever. Not until this is over with. You
staying with Dunrik puts him and Rikol in danger. You'll _have_ to
stay with me. I can bed down in front of the door at least and make
sure no one sneaks in." She held up a hand before he could interrupt.
"Look, I know you don't think it's proper, but you're going to have to
deal with it. You want to live, you're going to have to suck it up and
worry about your reputation later. And by Faranth, you're going to
have to learn how to kill if he makes it past me. Because he won't
stop until you're dead or he is. His reputation is on the line now.
And that's more valuable to him than marks."

"All right." He spoke quietly, not wanting to believe that anyone could
be more dangerous than she was, but knowing that her fears were real
enough. Shards, he didn't know how he was going to explain this to
Master Dunrik, especially given their conversation earlier, but it was
necessary. He couldn't put those lives at risk. "I'll move tonight.
And...I'll kill if I have to, but I won't let anyone hurt her. I'll die
first."

Lusilk shook her head, no hope in her eyes. "I think you'd hesitate,
Lorican. You don't have it in you. Do you have it in you to let her go
to keep her safe?" She recalled their previous conversation. "If you
have to escape or run, the obvious choice is to use someone you care
for the most to get to you. It's easy to get into a Weyr, to get to
people. Think about it. That threat was the first thing I did when you
showed up. Can you make it seem like you don't care for her at all? Or
your brother?" Her voice softened and there was a surprising amount of
compassion in her voice. "Sometimes...you have to hurt people to save
them."

He sat down heavily in the chair before her desk, his face crumpling as
though his world was falling apart around him, and rested his head in
his hands. "I don't know if I can. I think of her all the time, what we
shared, I dream of her...it would be like turning myself into a
different person. And she's had too much pain already." He looked up at
her. "If I must, I'll do what it takes to keep her out of this. But not
yet. Please - a little more time."

"It has to appear real, Lorican. Waiting until the last moment is
suspicious." Lusilk sighed. "It's your woman at risk, Lorican. You'll
have to make that choice, not me. It's a hard one." Seeing his face,
Lusilk couldn't push aside the unfamiliar compassion for the man. He
had been trying, honestly trying. Despite her own fear of Varlin, she
could relate to what Lorican was feeling, had felt a similar pain. She
moved around the desk and sat on the edge, looking down at him. She
hesitated, then laid a light hand on his shoulder, feeling awkward. "I
had to do it myself, Lorican. I had a family once. They're safe now,
though. But I can't ever see them again."

Though she'd told him not to, the pity for her came instinctively. "I'm
sorry." How strange, to think that it had been only a few months since
she'd tried to kill him, to burn him in the smithy, and now here they
were. Stars, it would have been easier if he had died there. Lusilk and
her son would have been safe, and he'd have been no more than the brief
memory of an odd patient to Urlene.

He told himself it was useless to think like that. What had been done
couldn't be changed. All he could do now was protect the ones he loved
from harm, in the only way possible.

"I'll do it," he said quietly. "I'll burn my letters. And..." He thought
of what Dunrik had said earlier. "If I move in with you, everyone will
assume we're lovers no matter what. I'll do my best to make it seem that
way."

"It was necessary." Her reply was brusque, fending off her own painful
memories. She took a breath, then narrowed her eyes. "But I will
promise you that once this is over, if we live, I'll take care of the
one hunting you." And the one hunting her and Silgan. She was tired of
running and hiding. "For free. I'm not without resources. Perhaps
then..." She paused, knowing that it would be then that she would most
likely have to let go of her son,. "Perhaps then you can make your
amends."

Lorican's shoulders straightened visibly. Common sense told him that
there was little prospect of him ever returning safely to Urlene to tell
her the truth. Even if he and Lusilk survived the coming of the man in
the letter, how could she hope to stop whoever was willing and able to
spend so much to see him dead? Even so, he couldn't help but hope.

"Well, then. We'd better both live, hadn't we?" He managed a smile and
got to his feet. "I'll go and tell Master Dunrik I'm moving." At the
door, he hesitated and turned back. Reaching up to his neck, he lifted
the cord that hung there over his head and dropped it into the palm of
his hand. He looked down at the ring, its green jewel glittering in the
light, and his fingers curled slightly, as if to clasp it to him, but
instead he offered it to her. "Would you keep this for me? It's hers. I
can't wear it now and if anything does happen to me...maybe you could
return it to her."

Lusilk didn't take it. Instead she studied the ring, her jaw working
from side to side. "No. Put it in a longer cord and keep it under your
shirt. If he gets that close to you to see it, you'll be dead already. "
Her lips thinned. "I've gotten to know you pretty well since you got
here and you'll need some sort of hope to get through this. I can't
give that to you, " she admitted. "I don't have much for myself. Wear it
so you can remember what you're doing this for. I see my Silgan
everyday. That's enough for me. Maybe that thing, " she closed his hand
over the ring, " will be enough for you." She cleared her throat. "Take
tonight for yourself. Move this restday. Then the real training starts. "

His fingers tightened around the ring and he closed his eyes in relief
and gratitude for a moment, that he wouldn't have to give up Urlene's
gift. Then he slipped it back around his neck, feeling the delicate band
of metal warm against his skin. It was a foolish thought, but somehow he
felt that if he kept it safe, there'd still be a chance for them.

Deciding not to ask how the "real training" differed from what they'd
being doing until now, since he doubted he'd like the answer, he pushed
aside his fears and gave her a brief smile. "Thank you. I guess I'll go
to the dining hall tonight, stay close to the others."

She nodded. "Just keep an eye out." This would be hardest on Silgan, she
realized. Their quarters was where he could be a complete child,
communicate with her, speak, laugh, and play uninhibited . She would
have to either allow Lorican to know the truth about her son's ability
to speak, or restrict Silgan further? Faranth, he had had enough of
that. Was it a risk she could take? Once Silgan started speaking, he
chattered and could let slip information that Lorican could use against
her. But if anything should happen to her, he would end up hearing it
once he delivered Silgan to Lord Bryvin. She would have to consider the
matter before Lorican actually moved in. "I'll see you this rest day. "

"Good night, then." Lorican left the office, remembering that the rest
day was when Master Dunrik had told him he could be spared to visit
Urlene. Now, all of the joy of that prospect had vanished and his heart
felt heavy as lead in his chest. Would he tell her that he no longer
cared for her, that he'd found a new lover at the Weyrhold? Or should he
not go at all? All he knew was that it couldn't be the reunion he'd
dreamed of, but he didn't think he could resist the chance to see her
one more time.

Last updated on the February 1st 2020

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Everything Changes